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THE 



SPIRIT OF BUNCLE; 



OR THE 



SURPRISING ADVENTURES 



OF THAT 



ORIGINAL AND EXTRAORDINARY CHARACTER 



JOHN BUNCLE, ESQ. 



O Memory ! celestial maid ! 

Who glean'st the flow'rets cropp'd by time; 
And, suffering not a leaf to fade, 

Preserv'st the blossoms of our prime ; 
Bring, bring those moments to my mind 

When life was new and beanty kind. 



LONDON: 

PUBLISHED BY CHARLES STOCKING, 
PATERNOSTER-ROW. 

MDCCCXXIII. 






LONDON: 
PRINTED BY J. AND C. ADLARD, 23, BARTHOLOMEW CLOf *:.. 



•r 



ADVERTISEMENT. 



The surprising adventures of the hero of the 
following pages have hitherto been incorpora- 
ted with a ponderous substance: — the whole being 
placed in a literary alembic, and exposed to an 
intellectual fire, the residuum has fallen, and 
" The Spirit of Buncle " ascended for the amuse- 
ment of the age. 



THE 



SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER I. 

O Infancy, 
From stain thy spotless heart is free : 
No tongue hath ill to tell of thee. 
Nor crimes remember' d bid thee weep, 
Nor crimes projected break thy sleep. 
No sordid passion's odious heat 
Hath made, as yet, thy breast its seat. 

lHE events of my childhood are not worth re- 
cording, and therefore I commence my life from 
the first month of the seventeenth year of my age. 
In 1720 I was sent to the university, and en- 
tered a pensioner, though I had a larger yearly 
allowance than any fellow-commoner of my col- 
lege. I determined to improve my natural fa- 
culties to the utmost of my power. Nature, I 
was sensible, had bestowed on me no genius ; 
but I had a tolerable share of natural understand- 
ing, and from my infancy was docile, and always 



I THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

attentive to the directions of good sense. I de- 
sired only to acquire such degrees of perfection 
as lay within the small sphere Nature had marked 
out for me. 

To this purpose, I devoted my college life to 
books ; and for five years that I resided in the 
university, conversed so much with the dead 
that I had very little intercourse with the living. 
So totally had letters engaged my mind, that I 
was but little affected towards most other things. 
Walking and music were the principal recreations 
in which I delighted. I had scarcely a thought 
at that time of those foolish and fatal choices 
and pursuits of men, which are owing to a false 
judgment, and to a habit of acting precipitantly, 
without duly examining the inclinations and ap- 
petites ; I therefore very rarely participated in 
the pleasures and diversions in which men of 
fortune in an university too commonly indulge. 
My relaxation, after study, was my German flute, 
and the conversation of some ingenious, sober 
friend ; and when the weather permitted, I walked 
several miles into the country. At this exercise I 
had sometimes a friend or two with me ; but for the 
most part my walks were solitary. My dog and my 
gun, however, were sufficient diversion on the way, 
and they frequently led me into scenes of enter- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 3 

tainment, which lasted longer than the day : 
some of them you will find in this journal. The 
history of the beautiful Harriet Noel you shall 
have by and by. 

At present my scheme requires me to set down 
the books, and inform the reader of the issue of 
my studies. My time I devoted to philosophy, 
cosmography, mathematics, and the languages, 
for four years; and the fifth I gave to history. 

The first book I took into my hand, after re- 
ceiving my note of admission, was the Essay of 
that fine genius Mr. Locke; and I was so pleased 
with this clear and accurate writer, that I looked 
into nothing else, till, by reading it three times 
over, I had made a thorough acquaintance with my 
own understanding. This author taught me to 
examine my abilities, and enabled me to see 
to what objects my mind was suited. He led 
me into the sanctuary of vanity and ignorance, 
and shewed me how greatly true knowledge de- 
pended on a right meaning of words, and a just 
significancy of expression. From this inimita- 
ble Essay my understanding received unspeak- 
able benefits, and to it I owe what improvement 
I have made in the reason given me. If I could, 
I would persuade all young gentlemen to read it 
over and over with great attention, and I am 
b2 



4 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

sure they would find themselves very richly 
rewarded for their pains. They would acquire 
that justness and truth of understanding, which 
is the great perfection of rational beings. 

After this I began to study the first principles 
of things — the structure of the universe, the con- 
texture of human bodies, the properties of ani- 
mals, the physiology of plants, and the qualities 
of metals ; and was exquisitely charmed with the 
contemplation of the beautiful order and wise 
final causes of Nature in all her laws and pro- 
ductions. The study had a delightful influence 
on the temper of my mind, and inspired a love 
of order in my heart, and in my outward demean- 
our. It likewise led to the Great First Cause, 
and, in repeated views of harmony, wisdom, and 
goodness in all the works of nature, impressed 
upon my mind a firm conviction, that all is 
under the administration of a general Mind, as 
far remote from all malice as from all weakness, 
whether in respect of understanding or of power. 
This gave me a due affection towards the infi- 
nitely perfect Parent of Nature; and as I con- 
templated his glorious works, I was obliged in 
transports to confess, that he deserved our love 
and admiration. I was also satisfied that what- 
ever the order of the world produces, is in the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. O 

main both just and good ; and consequently that 
we ought in the best manner to support whatever 
hardships are to be endured for virtue's sake : 
that acquiescence and complacency, with respect 
to accidents and injuries, ought to be our duty 
under a perfect administration ; and with benig- 
nity and constancy we must ever act, from a set- 
tled persuasion, that all things are framed and 
governed by a universal Mind. 

Such was the effect the study of natural philoso- 
phy had upon my mind. It set beyond all doubt 
before me, the moral perfection of the Creator 
and Governor of the universe. And if this Al- 
mighty God, I said, is perfect wisdom and virtue, 
does it not follow, that he must approve and love 
those who are at due pains to improve in wisdom ? 
— and what he loves and delights in, must he not 
make happy ? This is an evident truth. It ren- 
ders the cause of virtue quite triumphant. 

When I had finished my studies in cosmogra- 
phy, mathematics, and history, I proceeded to 
ethics, or moral philosophy, to which I devoted 
much attention, and in which I found unspeakable 
delight. 

This science I collected, in the first place, from 
the ancient sages and philosophers, and studied 
all the moral writers of Greece and Rome. With 



6 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

great pleasure I saw, that these immortal authors 
had delineated, as far as human reason can go, 
that course of life which is most according to 
the intention of Nature, and most happy ; had 
shewn that this universe, and human nature in 
particular, was formed by the wisdom and coun- 
sel of a Deity, and that from the constitution of 
our nature various duties arose : — that, since God 
is the original independent being, complete in 
all possible perfection, of boundless power, 
wisdom, and goodness ; the Creator, Contriver, 
and Governor of this world, to whom mankind 
are indebted for innumerable benefits most gra- 
tuitously bestowed ; we ought to manifest the 
most ardent love and veneration toward the 
Deity, and worship him with affections of soul 
suited to the pre-eminence and infinite grandeur 
of the Original Cause of all ; ought to obey him 
as far as human weakness can go, and humbly 
submit and resign ourselves and all our interests 
to his will ; continually confide in his goodness, 
and constantly imitate him as far as our weak 
nature is capable. This is due to that original 
most gracious Power who formed us, and with a 
liberal hand supplies us with all things conducive 
to such pleasure and happiness as our nature can 
receive. — That, in respect of mankind, our natural 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 7 

sense of right and wrong points out to us the 
duties to be performed towards others, and the 
kind affections implanted by nature excite us to 
the discharge of them : that, by the law of our con- 
stitution and nature, justice and benevolence are 
prescribed ; and an intercourse of mutual offices 
required, not only to secure our pleasure and 
happiness, but to preserve ourselves in safety and 
in life : that the law of nature, or natural right, 
forbids every instance of injustice, a violation of 
life, liberty, health, property ; and our honour- 
able, kind powers, duly exercised, are not only a 
spring of vigorous efforts to do good to others, 
and thereby secure the common happiness ; but 
they really procure us a joy and peace, internal 
applause and external advantages; while injustice 
and malice, anger, hatred, envy, and revenge, are 
often the cause of shame and remorse, and con- 
tain nothing joyful, nothing glorious: In the 
greatest affluence, the savage men are miserable. — 
That, as to ourselves, the voice of reason declares, 
that we ought to employ our abilities and oppor- 
tunities in improving our minds to an extensive 
knowledge of Nature in the sciences ; and by 
diligent meditation and observation, acquire that 
prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude, 
which should constantly govern our lives : — that 



8 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

solid prudence, which abhors rashness, inconsi- 
derateness, a foolish self-confidence, and craft, 
and, under a high sense of moral excellence, con- 
siders and does what is really advantageous in 
life : — that justice, which constantly regards the 
common interest, and, in subserviency to it, gives 
to each one whatever is due to him upon any 
natural claim : — that temperance, which restrains 
and regulates the lower appetites, and displays 
the grace and beauty of manners : — and that for- 
titude, which represses all vain and excessive 
fears, gives us a superiority to all the external 
accidents of our mortal state, and strengthens the 
soul against all toils or dangers we may be ex- 
posed to, in discharge of our duty ; as an early 
and painful death with virtue and honour, is 
highly preferable to the longest ignominious life, 
and no advantages can be compared, in point of 
happiness, with the approbation of God, and of 
our own hearts. 

This beautiful moral philosophy I found scat- 
tered in the writings of the old philosophers, 
and with great pains reduced the various lessons 
to a system of active and virtuous offices : but 
this I knew was what the majority of mankind 
were incapable of doing ; and if they could do it, 
I saw it was far inferior to Revelation. Every 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 9 

Sunday I appropriated to the study of revealed re- 
ligion, and perceived, as I read the sacred records, 
that the works of Plato, and Cicero, and Epic- 
tetus, and all the uninspired sages of antiquity, 
were but weak rules, compared with those of the 
divine oracles. It is the mercy and power of 
God in the triumphs of grace, that restores man- 
kind from the bondage and ignorance of idolatry. 
The philosophy of Greece and Rome was admira- 
ble for the times and men : but it admits of no 
comparison with the divine lessons of our holy 
religion, and the charter of God's pardon granted 
to us by his blessed Son. Besides, the philoso- 
phers were in some degree dark and doubtful in 
respect of death and futurity ; and, in relation to 
this world, there is not a sufficient power in their 
discourses to preserve us from being carried away 
by allurements in the midst of plenty, and to se- 
cure our peace against the casualties of fortune, 
arid the torments of disappointment ; to save us 
from the cares and solicitudes which attend upon 
large possessions, and give us a mind capable of 
relishing the good things before us ; to make us 
easy and satisfied as to the present, and render 
us secure and void of fear as to the future. These 
considerations made me prefer revealed religion 
in the beginning of my rational life. The mora- 
b 5 



10 Tftfc SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

lity of the ancient philosophers I admired ; with 
delight I studied their writings, and received, I 
gratefully confess, much improvement from them. 
But the Christian religion I esteemed as the 
most consummate blessing God could bestow, or 
man receive. 



THE SPIEIT OF BUNCLE. 11 



CHAPTER II. 

See how the morning opes her golden gates, 
And takes her farewell of the glorious sun ! 
How well resembles it the prime of youth, 
Trimm'd like a younker prancing to his love. 

Shakspeare. 

On the glorious first of August, before the 
beasts were roused from their lodges, or the birds 
had soared upwards to pour forth their morning 
harmony, before the sun with his auspicious 
presence began to animate inferior nature, I left 
my chamber, and with my gun and dog, went out 
to wander over a pleasant country. The different 
aspects and the various points of view were 
charming, as the light in fleecy rings increased ; 
and when the whole flood of day descended, the 
embellished early scene was a fine entertainment. 
Delighted with the beauties of this morning, I 
climbed up the mountains, and travelled through 
many a valley. The game was plentiful, and for 
full five hours I journeyed onward, without know- 
ing where I was going, or thinking of a return to 
college. 



12 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

About nine o'clock, however, I began to grow 
very hungry, and was looking round to see if I 
could discover any proper habitation to my pur- 
pose,when I observed in a valley, at some distance, 
something that looked like a mansion. That way, 
therefore, I moved, and with no little difficulty, 
as I had a precipice to descend, or must go -a 
mile round, to arrive at the place I wanted : 
down, therefore, I marched, got a fall by the way 
that had like to have destroyed me, and, after all, 
found it to be a shed for cattle. The bottom, 
however, was very beautiful, and the sides of the 
hills sweetly copsed with little woods. The val- 
ley is so divided, that the rising sun gilds it on 
the right hand, and, when declining, warms it on 
the left. A pretty brook here likewise bubbles 
along, and even Hebrus strays not around Thrace 
with a purer and cooler stream. 

In this sweet and delicious solitude I saunter- 
ed on for some time, by the side of the murmur- 
ing stream, and followed as it wound through 
the vale, till I came to a little harmonic building, 
that had every charm and proportion architecture 
could give it It was situated on a rising ground 
in a broad part of the fruitful valley, and sur- 
rounded with a garden that invited a pensive 
wanderer to roam in its delightful retreats. The 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 13 

walks were amazingly beautiful. Every side of 
this fine spot was planted thick with underwood, 
and kept so low, as not to prevent a prospect to 
every pleasing remote object. 

Finding one of the garden-doors left open, I 
entered immediately, and, to screen myself from 
the scorching beams of the sun, got into an em 
bowered way, that led me to a large fountain, in 
a ring or circular opening, and from thence, by a 
gradual, easy, shady ascent, to a semicircular 
amphitheatre of ever-greens that was charming 
to behold ; in this were several seats for ease, re- 
past, or retirement, and at each end of it a ro- 
tunda, or temple, of the Ionic order. One of them 
was converted into a grotto, or shell-house, in 
which a politeness of fancy had produced and 
blended the greatest beauties of nature and de- 
coration. The other was a library, filled with the 
finest books, and a great variety of mathematical 
instruments. Here I saw Miss Noel sitting, and 
so intent on writing, that she did not take any 
notice of me, as I stood at the window, in asto- 
nishment looking at the things before me, and 
especially at the amazing beauties of her face, 
and the splendour of her eyes, as she raised them 
now and then from the paper she wrote on, to look 
into a book that lay open upon a small desk 



14 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

before her. The whole scene was so very uncom- 
mon, and so amazing, that I thought myself, for 
a while, on some spot of magic ground, and 
almost doubted the reality of what my eyes be- 
held ; till Miss Noel, by accident, looked full at 
me, and then came forward to the open window, 
to know whom I wanted. 

Before I could answer, I found a venerable old 
gentleman standing by my side, and he seemed 
much more surprised at me than his daughter 
was ; for, as this young lady told me afterwards, 
she guessed at once the whole affair, seeing me 
with my gun and dog, in a shooting dress ; and 
knew it was a natural curiosity brought me into 
the garden, and stopped me at the window, when 
I saw her in such an attitude and in such a place. 
This, I assured them, was the truth of my case ; 
with this small addition, however, that I was 
ready to perish for want of something to eat, 
having been from four in the morning at hard ex- 
ercise, and had not yet broke my fast. " If this be 
the case," says the good old man. " you are wel- 
come, Sir, to Eden Park, and you shall soon have 
the best breakfast our house affords." Upon this, 
Mr. Noel brought me into his house, and the 
lovely Harriet made tea for me, and had such 
plenty of fine cream, and extraordinary bread 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 15 

and butter set before me, that I breakfasted with 
uncommon pleasure. The honour and happiness 
of her company rendered the repast quite de- 
lightful. There was a civility so very great in her 
manner, and a social goodness so charming in her 
talk and temper, that it w r as unspeakable delight 
to sit at table with her. She asked me a number 
of questions relating to things, and books, and 
people; and there w r as so much good sense in 
every inquiry, so much good humour in her re- 
flections and replications, that I was entirely 
charmed with her mind, and lost in admiration 
when I contemplated the wonders of her face 
and the beauties of her person. 

When breakfast was over, it was time for me to 
depart, and I made half a dozen attempts to rise 
from my chair ; but, without her laying a rosy 
finger on me, this illustrious maid had so totally 
subdued my soul, and deprived me of all motive 
power, that I sat like the renowned Prince of the 
Massagetes, who was stiffened by enchantment 
in the apartment of the princess Phedima, as we 
read in Amadis de Gaul. This Miss Noel saw 
very plainly, and, in compassion to my misfor- 
tune, generously threw in a hint now and then 
for a little farther conversation, to colour my un- 
reasonable delay. But this could not have been 



16 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

of service much longer, as the clock had struck 
twelve, if the old gentleman, her father, had not 
returned to us, and told me, he insisted on my 
staying to dine with him, for he loved to take a 
glass after dinner with a facetious companion, and 
would be obliged to me for my company. " At pre- 
sent," Mr. Noel continued, " you will excuse me, 
Sir, as business engages me till we dine : but my 
daughter will chat the hours away with you, and 
shew you the curiosities of her library and grotto : 
— Harriet," he said, " will supply my place." 

This was a delightful invitation indeed; and, af- 
ter returning my hearty thanks to the old gentle- 
man for the favour he did me, I addressed myself 
to Miss Noel, when her father was gone, and we 
were walking back to the library in the garden, 
and told her ingenuously, that though I could 
not be positive as to the situation of my soul, whe- 
ther I was in love with her or not, as I never had 
experienced the passion before, nor knew what it 
was to admire a woman, having lived till that 
morning in a state of indiiference to her sex; yet 
I found very strange emotions within me, and I 
was sure I could not leave her without the most 
lively and afflicting inquietude. " You will pardon, 
I hope, Madam, this effusion of my heart, and 
suffer me to demonstrate, by a thousand and a 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 17 

thousand actions, that I honour you in a manner 
unutterable, and from this time can imagine no 
happiness but with you." 

" Sir," this inimitable maid replied, "you are an 
entire stranger to me : and to declare a passion on a 
few hours' acquaintance, must be either to try my 
weakness, or because you think a young woman 
is incapable of relishing any thing but such stuff, 
when in conversation with a gentleman in secret." 
I could only answer, " Charming Harriet, my fate 
is in your hands. Dispose of it as you will, and 
make me what you please/' 

" You force me to smile," the illustrious Miss 
Noel replied, "and oblige me to call you an odd 
compound of a man. Pray, Sir, let me have no 
more of those romantic flights ; and the remainder 
of our leisure, till dinner, we will pass in a visit 
to my grotto, and in walking round the garden to 
the parlour we came from," To the grotto then 
we went ; and, to the best of my power, I will 
give my reader a description of this splendid 
room. 

In one of the fine rotundas I have mentioned, 
at one end of the green amphitheatre very lately 
described, the shining apartment was formed. 
Miss Noel's hand had covered the floor with the 
most beautiful Mosaic my eyes have ever beheld, 



18 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

and filled the arched roof with the richest fossil 
gems. The Mosaic painting on the ground was 
wrought with small coloured stones or pebbles, 
and sharp pointed bits of glass, measured and 
proportioned together, so as to imitate in their 
assemblage the strokes and colour of the ob- 
jects which they were intended to represent, and 
they represented, by this lady's art, the Temple 
of Tranquillity, described by Volusenus in his 
dream. 

At some distance the fine temple looks like a 
beautiful painted picture, as do the birds, the 
beasts, the trees, in the fields about it, and the 
river which murmurs at the bottom of the rising 
ground. So wonderfully did this genius perform 
the piece, that fishes of many kinds seem to take 
their pastime in the bright stream. But above all 
is the image of the philosopher, at the entrance 
of the temple, beautifully fine. With pebbles and 
scraps of glass, all the beauties and graces are 
expressed, which the pencil of an able artist could 
bestow on the picture of Democritus. You see 
him, as Diogenes Laertius has drawn him, with a 
philosophical joy in his countenance, that shews 
him superior to all events ; and with a finger he 
points to the following golden inscription on the 
portico of the temple : — 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 19 

Flagrans sit stadium bene merendi de seipso, 
Et seipsum perficiendi. 

That is, By a rectitude of mind and life, secure true 
happiness and the applause of your own heart, and let 
it be the labour of all your days to come as near perfec- 
tion as it is possible for human nature to- approach. 

This Mosaic piece of painting is, indeed, an ad- 
mirable thing. It has a fine effect in this grotto, 
and is a noble monument of the superior taste of 
Miss Noel. Nor was her fine genius less visible 
in the striking appearance of the extremely beau- 
tiful shells and valuable curiosities all round the 
apartment. Her father spared no cost to procure 
her the finest things of the oceans and rivers from 
all parts of the world, and pebbles, stones, and 
ores of the greatest curiosity and worth. These 
were all disposed in such a manner, as not only 
shed a glorious lustre in the room, but shewed 
the understanding of this young lady in natural 
knowledge. 

In one part of the grot were collected and ar- 
ranged the stony coverings of all the shell fish in 
the sea, from the striated patella and its several spe- 
cies, to the pholades in all their varieties ; and of 
those that live in the fresh streams, from the suboval 
limpet or umbonated patella, and its species, to the 
triangular and deeply striated cardia. Even all the 



20 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

land shells were in this collection, from the poma- 
tia to the round-mouthed turbo. The most beau- 
tiful genera of the sea shells, intermixed with fos- 
sil corals of all kinds, with animal substances be- 
come fossil ; and with copper ores, agates, peb- 
bles, pieces of the finest marmora and alabas- 
tritse, and the most elegant and beautiful marca- 
sites, and crystals, and spars. These filled the 
greatest part of the walls; and in classes here and 
there were scattered, as foils to raise the lustre of 
the others, the inferior shells. 

With a large quantity of these most beautiful 
shells, which are rarely seen in any collection, 
Miss Noel formed a grotto that exceeded every 
thing of the kind, I believe, in the world. It 
was not only, that Miss Noel's happy fancy had 
blended all these things in the wildest and most 
beautiful disposition over the walls of the ro- 
tunda, but her fine genius had produced a variety 
of grots within her grotto, and falling waters and 
points of view. In one place was the famous 
Atalanta, and her delightful cave : and in another 
part, the goddess and Ulysses's son appeared at 
the entrance of that grot, which, under the appear- 
ance of a rural plainness, had everything that could 
charm the eye : the roof was ornamented with 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 21 

shell-work, the tapestry was a tender vine, and 
limpid fountains sweetly purled around. 

Such was Miss Noel's grotto, and with her, if 
it had been in my power to choose, I had rather 
have passed in it the day, in talking of the various 
fine subjects it contained, than have gone in to din- 
ner ; which a servant now informed us was serv- 
ing up. Back then we returned to the parlour, 
and there found the old gentleman. We sat 
down immediately to two very good dishes ; and 
when that was over, Mr. Noel and I drank a bot- 
tle of old Alicant. Though this gentleman was 
upwards of sixty, yet years had not deprived him 
of reason and spirit. He was lively and sensible, 
and still a most agreeable companion. He talked 
of Greece and Rome, as if he had lived there be- 
fore the era of Christianity. The court of Au- 
gustus he was so far from being a stranger to, 
that he described the principal persons in it, 
their actions, their pleasures, and their caprices, 
as if he had been their contemporary. We talk- 
ed of all these great characters. We went into 
the gallery of Verres. We looked over the an- 
cient theatres. Several of the most beautiful pas- 
sages in the Roman poets this fine old man re- 
peated, and made very pleasant, by his moral re- 
marks upon them. 



22 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

In this manner did the old gentleman and I 
pass the time, till the clock struck five, when 
Miss Noel came into the room again, and her fa- 
ther said he must retire, to take his evening nap, 
and we should see him again at supper ; for with 
him I must stay that night. " Harriet, make tea 
for the gentleman — I am your servant, Sir ;" and 
he withdrew. To Harriet then, my life and my 
bliss, I turned, and over a pot of tea was as hap- 
py, I am sure, as ever with his Statira sat the con- 
queror of the world. I began to relate once more 
the story of a passion, that was to form, one day, 
I hoped, my sole felicity in this world, and with 
vows and protestations affirmed, that I loved from 
my soul. "Charming angel/' I said, "the beauties 
of your mind have inspired me with a passion, that 
must increase every time I behold the harmony 
of your face ; and, by the powers divine, I swear 
to love you so long as heaven shall permit me to 
breathe the vital air. Bid me, then, either live or 
die, and while I do live, be assured, that my life 
will be devoted to you only." My passion had 
risen so high for such uncommon female excel- 
lence, that I could not help snatching this beauty 
to my arms, and without thinking of what I did, 
I impressed on her balmy mouth half a dozen 
kisses. This was wrong, and gave her very great 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 23 

offence ; but she was too good to be implacable ; 
and on my begging her pardon, and protesting it 
was not a willing rudeness, but the magic of her 
glorious eyes, and the bright powers of her mind, 
that had transported me beside myself, she was 
reconciled, and asked me, if I would play a game 
at cards? "With delight," I replied; and immedi- 
ately a pack was brought in. We sat down to crib- 
bage, and had played a few games, when, by acci- 
dent, Miss Noel saw the head of my German 
flute, which I always brought out with me in my 
walks, and carried it in a long pocket within side 
my coat. " You play, Sir, I suppose, on that in- 
strument/' this lady said; " and as of all sorts of 
music this pleases me most, I request you will 
oblige me with any thing you please/' " In a mo- 
ment/' I answered ; and taking from my pocket- 
book the following lines, I reached them to her, 
and told her I had the day before set them to one 
of Lulli's airs; and instantly began to breathe the 
softest harmony I could make. 

Almighty Love's resistless rage, 

No force can quell, no art assuage : 

While wit and beauty both conspire 

To kindle in my breast the fire : 

The matchless shape, the charming grace, 

The easy air, and blooming face, 



24 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Each charm that does in Flavia shine, 
To keep my captive heart combine. 

I feel, I feel the raging fire ! 

And my soul burns with fierce desire ! 

Thy freedom, Reason, I disown, 

And Beauty's pleasing chains put on ; 

No art can set the captive free, 

Who scorns his offer'd liberty ; 

Nor is confinement any pain, 

To him who hugs his pleasing chain. 

Bright Venus ! offspring of the sea ! 
Thy sovereign dictates I obey ; 
I own submiss thy mighty reign, 
And feel thy power in every vein : 
I feel thy influence all-confess'd, 
I feel thee triumph in my breast ! 
'Tis there is fix'd thy sacred court, 
'Tis there thy Cupids gaily sport. 

Come, my Boy, the altar place, 
Add the blooming garland's grace ; 
Gently pour the sacred wine, 
Hear me, Venus, power divine ! 
Grant the only boon I crave, 
Hear me, Venus, hear thy slave ! 
Bless my fond soul with beauty's charms, 
And give me Flavia to my arms. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 25 

Just as I was finishing this piece of music, old 
Mr. Noel came into the parlour, in his wonted 
good humour, and seemed very greatly pleased with 
me and my instrument. He told me I was the 
young man he wanted to be acquainted with, and 
that, if it was no detriment to me, I should not 
leave him this month to come. "Come, Sir," 
continued the fine old gentleman, " let me hear 
another piece of your music — vocal or instrumen- 
tal, as you will — for I suppose you sing as well 
as you play." "Both you shall have, Sir," I re- 
plied, " to the best of my abilities : and, by way 
of change, I will give you, first, a song called The 
Solitude." 

Ye lofty mountains, whose eternal snows, 
Like Atlas, seem to prop the distant skies ; 

While shelter'd by your high and ample brows, 
All Nature's beauties feast my ravish'd eyes : 

And far beneath me o'er the distant plain 

The thunders break, and rattling tempests reign. 

Here, when Aurora with her cheerful beam 
And rosy blushes marks approaching day, 

Oft do I walk along the purling stream, 

And see the bleating flocks around me stray : 

The woods, the rocks, each charm that strikes my 
sight, 

Fills my whole breast with innocent delight. 
c 



26 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Here gaily dancing on the flow'ry ground 

The cheerful shepherds join their flute and voice ; 

While through the groves the woodland songs re- 
sound, 
And fill the untroubled mind with peaceful joys: 

Music and love inspire the vocal plain, 

Alone the turtle tunes her plaintive strain. 

Here the green turf invites my wearied head, 
On Nature's lap, to undisturb'd repose ; 

Here gently laid to rest, each care is fled ; 
Peace and content my happy eyelids close. 

Ye golden flattering dreams of state, adieu ! 

As bright my slumbers are, more soft than you. 

Here free from all the tempests of the Great, 
Craft and ambition can deceive no more : 

Beneath these shades I find a blest retreat, 

From Envy's rage secure, and Fortune's pow'r : 

Here call the actions of past ages o'er, 

Or truth's immortal source alone explore. 

Here, far from all the busy world's alarms, 
I prove in peace the Muse's sacred leisure : 

No cares within, no distant sound of arms, 
Break my repose, or interrupt my pleasure. 

Fortune and Fame, deceitful forms ! adieu ! 

The world 's a trifle far beneath my view. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 27 

This song delighted the old gentleman to a 
great degree. He told me, he was charmed with 
it, not only for the fine music I made of it, but the 
morality of it; and liked me so much, that I was 
most heartily welcome to make his solitary re- 
treat my home, as often and as long as I pleased. 
And indeed I did so, and continued to behave in 
such a manner, that in two months time, I gained 
so entirely his affections, and so totally the heart 
of his admirable daughter, that I might have her 
in wedlock when I pleased, after the expiration of 
that current year, which was the young lady's re- 
quest, and be secured of his estate at his death, 
besides a large fortune to be immediately paid 
down ; and this though my father should refuse 
to settle any thing on me, or Miss Noel, my wife. 
This was as generous and charming as my heart 
could desire. 1 thought myself the happiest of 
men. Every w T eek I went to Eden Park, one 
time or other, to see my dear Miss Noel, and 
pay my respects to her worthy father. We 
were, while I stayed, a most happy family, and 
enjoyed such satisfactions, as few, I believe, have 
experienced in this tempestuous hemisphere. Mr. 
Noel was passionately fond of his daughter, and 
he could not have regarded me more if 1 had been 
his own son. I loved my Harriet with a fondness 
c2 



28 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

beyond description, and that glorious girl had all 
the esteem I could wish she had for me. Our 
mutual felicity could rise no higher till we gave 
our hands, as we had already plighted our hearts. 

Golden Hymen, bring thy robe, 
Bring thy torch, that still inspires, 

Round the stately amorous globe, 
Vigorous flames and gay desires. 

Sister Graces, all appear ; 

Sister Graces, come away ; 
Let the heavens be bright and clear, 

Let the earth keep holiday. 

Jocund Nature does prepare 

To salute the charming Bride, 
And with odours fills the air, 

Snatch' d from all the world beside. 

Little Cupids, come and move 

Round the Bridegroom's longing eyes, 

Whilst the stately Queen of love 
Round the Bride her cestus ties. 

This world is a series of visionary scenes, and 
contains so little solid, lasting felicity, as I 
have found it, that I cannot call life more than a 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 29 

deception; and, as Swift says, he is the happiest 
man, who is best deceived. When I thought my- 
self within a fortnight of being married to Miss 
Noel, and of being thereby made as completely 
happy in every respect as it was possible for a 
mortal man to be, the small pox stepped in, and in 
seven days time reduced the finest human frame 
in the universe to the most hideous and offensive 
block. The most amiable of human creatures 
mortified all over, and became a spectacle the 
most hideous and unbearable. This broke her 
father's heart in a month's time, and the paradise 
I had in view sunk into everlasting night. 

My heart, upon this sad accident, bled and 
mourned to an extreme degree. All the tender 
passions were up in my soul, and with great diffi- 
culty could I keep my ruffled spirits in tolerable 
decorum. I lost what I valued more than my 
life — more than repeated millions of worlds, if it 
had been possible to get them in exchange. This 
engaged, beloved partner, was an honour to her 
sex, and an ornament to human kind. She was 
one of the wisest and most agreeable of women : 
and her life quite glorious for piety to God, com- 
passion to the necessitous and miserable, benevo- 
lence and good-will to all, with every other grace 
and virtue. These shone with a bright lustre in 



30 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

her whole deportment, and rendered her beloved, 
and the delight of all that knew her. Sense and 
genius were in her united ; and by study, reflection, 
and application, she improved the talents in the 
happiest manner. She had acquired a superiority 
in thinking, speaking, writing, and acting ; and in 
manners, her behaviour, her language, her design, 
her understanding, was inexpressibly charming. 
Miss Noel died in the twenty-fourth year of her 
age. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 31 



CHAPTER III. 



His father too, a sordid man, 
Who love nor pity knew, 

Was all unfeeling as the rock 
From whence his riches grew. 



Having thus lost Miss Noel and my good old 
friend, her worthy father, I left the university, and 
went down to the country, after five years and 
three months absence, to see how things were situ- 
ated at home, and pay my respects to my father ; 
but I found them very little to my liking, and in 
a short time I returned to Dublin. My father 
had lately married in his old age a young wife, 
who was one of the most artful, false, and inso- 
lent of women ; and, to gratify her to the utmost of 
his power, he had not only brought her nephew 
into his house, but was ridiculously fond of him, 
and lavishly gratified all his desires. Whatever 
this little brute (the son of a drunken beggar, 
who had been a journeyman glover) was pleased, 
in wantonness, to call for, and his years, then 



32 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

sixteen, could require, my father's fortune in an 
instant produced : while scarcely one of my ra- 
tional demands could be answered. Money, 
clothes, servants, horses, dogs, and all things he 
could fancy, were given him in abundance ; and, 
to please the basest of women, and the most 
cruel step-mother that ever ill-luck inspired to 
make the son of another woman miserable, I was 
denied almost every thing. The fine allowance I 
had at the university was taken from me. Even 
a horse to ride out to the neighbouring gentlemen 
was refused me, though my father had three sta- 
bles of extraordinary cattle ; and till I purchased 
one, I was forced to walk wherever I had a mind 
to visit. What is still more incredible (if any thing 
of severity can be so, when a mother-in-law is so- 
vereign), I was not allowed to keep my horse even 
at grass on the land, though five hundred acres 
of freehold estate surrounded the mansion, but 
obliged to graze it at a neighbouring farmer's. 
Nor was this all the hard measure I received. 
I was ordered by my father to become the young 
man's preceptor ; to spend my precious time in 
teaching this youngster, and in labouring to make 
the little despicable dunce a scholar. All this 
was more than I could bear. My life became in- 
supportable, and I resolved to range even the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 33 

wilds of Africa, if nothing better offered, rather 
than live a miserable slave under the cruel tyran- 
ny of those unrelenting oppressors. Indeed it 
was impossible for me to stay at home, for my 
father took no notice of me, and my mother-in- 
law and the boy did all they could invent to 
render my life miserable. 



cS 



34 THE SPITtIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER IV. 



Now the dreadful thunder's roaring, 

Peal on peal contending clash, 
On our heads fierce rain falls pouring, 

In our eyes blue lightnings flash. 
One wide water all around us, 

All above us one black sky, 
Different deaths at once surround us, 

Hark ! what means that dreadful cry ? 



On the first day of May then, early in the morn- 
ing, as the clock struck one, I mounted my excel- 
lent mare, and with my boy, OTin, began to 
journey as I had projected, on seeing how things 
went. I did not communicate my designs to a 
soul, nor take my leave of any one; but in the true 
spirit of adventure, abandoned my father's dwell- 
ing, and set out to try what fortune would pro- 
duce in my favour. I had the world before me, 
and Providence my guide. As to my substance, 
it consisted of a purse of gold, that contained fifty 
Spanish pistoles, and half a score moidores; and 
I had one bank note for five hundred pounds, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 35 

which my dear Miss Noel left me by her will, the 
morning she sickened ; and it was all she had of 
her own to leave to any one. With this I set 
forward, and in five days' time arrived from the 
western extremity of Ireland, at a village called 
Rings-end, that lies on the Bay of Dublin. Three 
days I rested there, and then got my horses on 
board a ship that was ready to sail, and bound for 
the land I was born in — I mean Old England. 

The wind in the afternoon seemed good and 
fair, and we were in hopes of getting to Chester 
the next day; but at midnight a tempest arose, 
which held, in all the horrors of hurricane, thunder 
and lightning, for two nights and a day, and left 
us no hope of escape. It was a dreadful scene 
indeed, and looked as if the last fatal assault was 
making on the globe. As we had many passen- 
gers, their cries were terrible, and affected me 
more than the flashing fires and the winds. For 
my part, I was well reconciled to the great change ; 
but I confess that nature shrunk at the frightful 
manner of my going off, which I expected every 
moment the second night. At last, however, we 
got into Whitehaven. It pleased the King of all 
the earth to still the storm. 

One remarkable thing I noticed while the tem- 
pest lasted, which was, that the Dean of Derry, 
c 6 



36 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Dr. Whaley, whom we had on board, (who might 
have been expected to have evinced great forti- 
tude,) was much more afraid than one young lady 
of the company, who appeared quite serene. The 
Dean, though a fine orator on land, was ridicu- 
lous in his fears at sea. He screamed as loud as 
any of the people : but this young lady behaved 
like an angel in a storm. She was calm and re- 
signed ; and sat with the mate and me, the second 
night, discoursing of the Divine pow r er, and the 
laws of nature, in such uproars. This young lady 
went to bed the first night, before the tempest 
began to stir: it was not many hours before a sea 
struck us upon the quarter, and drove in one of 
our quarter and one of our stern dead lights, 
where we shipped great quantities of water, that 
put us under great apprehensions of foundering, 
and filled so suddenly the close wooden bed in 
which Miss Melmoth lay, that had not I chanced 
to be then leaning against the partition, and 
snatched her out the moment I found myself 
all over wet and half covered with the breaking 
sea, she must inevitably have perished. I ran 
up on deck with her in my arms, and laid her 
almost senseless there : and as there was no 
staying many minutes in that place, I threw my 
great coat over her, and then brought her down 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 37 

to my own birth, which I gave her, and got her 
dry clothes from her trunk, and made her drink a 
large glass of brandy, which saved her life. She 
got no cold, which I thought very strange, but 
was hurt a little in the remove. When all was 
over, she protested she would never go undressed 
into bed on board ship again. 

When we had obtained the wished-for shore, 
the passengers all divided. The Dean and his 
lady, and some other ladies, went one way, to an 
inn recommended to them by a gentleman on 
board; and the young lady, whose life was by me 
preserved, went with me to the Talbot, which the 
mate informed me had the best accommodations, 
though the smallest inn in the town, This mate, 
Mr. Whitwell, deserves to be particularly men- 
tioned, as he was remarkable for good-breeding, 
good sense, and a considerable share of learning, 
though a sailor, He was as remarkable this way, 
as the captain of the ship was the other, that is, 
for being the roughest and most brutal old tar 
that ever commanded a vessel. 

Whitwell, the mate, about thirty-six years of 
age at this time, told me, he was the son of a man 
who once had a great fortune, and gave him an 
university education, but left an estate so encum- 
bered with debts, and ruined with mortgages, that 



38 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

its income was almost nothing, and therefore the 
son sold the remains of it, and went to sea with 
an East India captain, in the twenty-second year 
of his age ; and was so fortunate abroad, that he 
not only acquired riches, in four years time that 
he trafficked about between Batavia and the Gulf 
of Persia, but married a young Indian lady, the 
daughter of a Rajah, or petty prince, in the Mogul 
empire. The lady was rich, wise, and beautiful, 
and made his life so very happy, for three years 
that she lived, that his state was a paradise, and he 
seemed a little sovereign. But this fleeting scene 
was soon over; and, on his return to England 
with all his wealth, their ship was taken by the 
pirates of Madagascar, who robbed him of all he 
had, and made him a miserable sinner for two 
years and upwards. He escaped from them to 
the tawny generations of Arabs, who lived on 
the mountains, on the other side of this African 
island, who used him with great humanity : 
their chief, being very fond of him, entertained 
him in his mud-wall-palace. He married there 
a pretty little yellow creature, niece to the poor 
ruler ; and for twelve months was very far from 
being miserable with his partner, as they had a 
handsome cottage and some cattle, and his wife 
was good-humour itself, very sensible, and a 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 39 

religious woman : her religion being half Maho- 
metanism and half Judaism. But she died at the 
year's end, and her uncle, the chief, not living a 
month after her, Whitwell came down from the 
mountains to the next sea-coast under the con- 
duct of one of the Arabians, his friend, and, meet- 
ing with an European ship there, got at last to 
London. A little money he had left behind him 
in England, in case of accidents, if he ever should 
return to his own country; and with this he dress- 
ed himself, got into business, and came at last to 
be mate of the Skinner and Jenkins. His destiny, 
he added, was untoward ; but as he had thought, 
and read, and seen enough in his wide travels, to 
be convinced, that the world, and every being, and 
every atom of it, were directed and governed by 
unerring wisdom, he derived hopes and comfort 
from a due acknowledgment of Providence. This 
conclusion was just and beautiful ; and a life and 
sentiments so uncommon, I thought, deserved a 
memorial. 

Miss Melmoth and I continued at the Talbot 
for three weeks, and during that time, breakfast- 
ed, dined, and supped together. Except the hours 
of sleep, we were rarely from each other. We 
walked out together every day for hours, con- 
versed, sometimes went to cards, and often she 



40 THE SPIRIT OF BUISCLE. 

sung, while I played on my flute. With the 
greatest civility and the most exact good man- 
ners, we were as intimate as if we had been ac- 
quainted for ages, and we found a satisfaction in 
each other's company, as great as lovers generally 
experience : yet not so much as one syllable of 
the passion was mentioned ; not the least hint of 
love on either side was given, while we stayed 
at Whitehaven, and I believe neither of us had a 
thought of it. It was a friendship the most pure 
and exalted, that commenced at my saving her 
life in the manner I have related, and by some 
strange kind of magic, our notions and inclina- 
tions, tempers and sentiments, had acquired such 
a sameness in a few days, that we seemed as two 
spiritual Socias, or duplicates of each other's mind. 
Body was quite out of the case, though this lady 
had an extravagance of beauty. My sole delight 
was that fine perception which shed a lustre on 
her outward charms. How long this state would 
have lasted, had we continued more time toge- 
ther, and had the image of the late Miss Noel been 
more effaced, or worn out of the sensorium of my 
head, I cannot say; but while it did last, there 
could be nothing more strange, than to see two 
young people of different sexes, in the highest 
spirits and most confirmed health, live together 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 41 

for twenty-one days, perfectly pleased with each 
other, entirely at their own disposal, and as to 
fortune, having abundantly enough between them 
both for a comfortable life ; and yet never utter 
one word, nor give a look, that could be construed 
into a declaration of the passion, or a tendency 
towards a more intimate union ; to complete that 
connexion which nature and providence require 
of beings circumstanced as we were : — this was 
very strange. Till the clock struck twelve every 
night we sat up, and talked of a variety of things, 
from the Bible down to the Clouds of Aristo- 
phanes, and from the comedies and tragedies of 
Greece and Rome, to the Minerva of Sanctius, 
and Hickes's Northern Thesaurus. Instead of 
Venus or any of her court, our conversation would 
often be on the Morals of Cicero, his Academics, 
and De finibus ; on the English or the Roman 
history ; Shakspeare's scenes of nature, or maps 
of life ; whether the (Edipus, or the Electra of 
Sophocles was the best tragedy ; and the scenes 
in which Plautus and Terence most excelled. 
Like two critics, or two grammarians, antiqua- 
rians, historians, or philosophers, would we pass 
the evening with the greatest cheerfulness and 
delight. 



42 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Miss Melmoth had an astonishing memory, and 
talked on every subject extremely well. She re- 
membered all she had read. She told me, her 
mother was another Madame Dacier, and as her 
father was killed in a duel, when she was very 
young, the widow Melmoth, instead of going 
into the world, continued to live at her country 
seat, and diverted herself with ^teaching her 
daughter the languages of Greece and Rome, and 
in educating her heart and mind. This enabled 
her to acquire a knowledge so various and fine, 
that it was surprising to hear her expatiate and 
explain. She talked with so much ease and 
good humour, and had a manner so cheerful and 
polite, that her discourse was always entertaining. 
These things, however, were not the only admira- 
ble qualities in this character. So happily had 
her good mother formed and instructed her mind, 
that it appeared full of all the principles of true 
honour, and devoted to that truly god-like reli- 
gion, which exalts the soul to an affection rather 
than dread of the Supreme Lord of all things, and 
to a conviction that his laws lead us to happiness 
here as well as hereafter. In a word, this young 
lady was wise and good, humble and charitable. 
I have seen but one of her sex superior to her, in 
the powers of mind, and the beauty of person : 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 43 

that was Miss Noel — very few have I known that 
were her equal. 

The second day of June Miss Melmoth and I 
left Whitehaven, and proceeded from thence to 
Westmoreland. We travelled for five days toge- 
ther, till we came to Brugh under Stainmore, 
where we stayed a night, and the next morning we 
were to part. Miss Melmoth and her servants 
were going right on to Yorkshire ; and I was 
bound to the left, to look for one Mr. Charles 
Turner, who had been my near friend in the uni- 
versity, and lived in some part of the north-east 
extremity of Westmoreland, or Yorkshire. But 
before we separated on the edge of Stainmore, we 
stopped at the Bell to breakfast, which is a little 
lone house on a descent to a vast romantic glen, 
and the only public house there is in this wild si- 
lent road till we come to Jack Rail ton the Qua- 
ker's house at Bows. We had a pot of coffee, 
and toast and butter for breakfast, and, as usual, 
we were very cheerful over it ; but when we had 
done, and it was time to depart, a melancholy, 
like a black and dismal cloud, began to over- 
spread the charming face of Charlotte, and, after 
some silence, the tears burst from her eyes. 
" What is the matter, Miss Melmoth ?" I said — 
" what makes this amazing change ?" " I will tell 



44 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

you, Sir/' this beauty replied ; " to you I owe my 
life, and for three weeks past have lived with you 
in so happy a way, that the end of such a scene, 
and the probability of my never seeing you more, 
are too much for me." " Miss Melmoth," I an- 
swered, " you do me more honour than I deserve, 
in shedding tears for me; and since you can think 
me worth seeing again, I promise you upon my 
sacred word, that as soon as I have found a be- 
loved friend of mine I am going to look for, and 
have paid my respects to him for a while, if he is 
to be found in this desolate part of the world, I 
will travel with my lad in the next place, if it be 
possible, to the East-riding of Yorkshire, and be 
at Mrs. Asgil's door, where you say you are to be 
found. " This restored the glories to Charlotte's 
face again ; and for the first time, I gave Miss 
Melmoth a kiss, and bade her adieu. 



THE SPIRIT OF BtJNCLE. 45 



CHAPTER V. 



How pleasing is the scene, how sweet, 
When two old friends together meet. 



Having thus lost my charming companion, I 
travelled into a vast valley, inclosed by moun- 
tains whose tops were above the clouds, and soon 
came into a country that is wilder than the Cam- 
pagna of Rome, or the uncultivated vales of the 
Alps and Apennines. Warm with a classical 
enthusiasm, I journeyed on, and with fancy's eye 
beheld the rural divinities, in those sacred woods 
and groves which shade the sides of many of 
the vast surrounding fells, and the shores and 
promontories of many lovely lakes and bright 
running streams. For several hours I travelled 
over mountains tremendous to behold, and through 
vales the finest in the world. Not a man nor 
house could I see in eight hours time ; but towards 
five in the afternoon, there appeared at the foot 
of a hill a delightfully situated cottage that was 



46 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

half covered with trees, and stood by the side 
of a large falling stream : a vale extended from 
the south to the door, that was terminated with 
rocks and precipices on precipices, in an amazing 
point of view, and through the flowery ground the 
water was beautifully seen as it wound to a deeper 
flood at the bottom of the vale. Half a dozen 
cows were grazing in view : and a few flocks of 
feeding sheep added to the beauties of the scene. 
To this house I sent my boy, to inquire who lived 
there, and to know \f I could be entertained for 
the night, as I knew no where else to go. O' Fin 
very quickly returned, and informed me that one 
Farmer Price was the owner of the place, but 
had gone in the morning to the next town, and 
that his wife said, I was welcome to what her 
house afforded. In, then, I went, and was most 
civilly received by an exceedingly pretty woman, 
who told me her husband would soon be at home, 
and be glad, she was sure, to see me at their lone 
place ; for he was no stranger to gentlemen and 
the world, though at present he rarely conversed 
with any one. She told me, their supper would 
be ready an hour hence, and in the mean time 
would have me take a can of fine ale and a bit 
of bread. She brought me a cup of extraordinary 
malt liquor, and a crust ; and while I was eating 
my bread, in came Mr. Price. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 47 

The man seemed very greatly astonished on 
entering the room ; and after he had looked with 
great earnestness at me for a little time, he cried 
out, " Good Heaven! What do I see? Falstaff,my 
class-fellow, and my second self ! My dearfriend, 
you are welcome, thrice welcome, to this part of 
the world. " All this surprised me not a little, 
for I could not recollect at once, a face that had 
been greatly altered by the small-pox : and it was 
not till I reflected on the name Price, that I knew 
I was then in the house of one of my school-fel- 
lows, with whom I had been most intimate, and 
had played the part of plump Jack in Henry the 
Fourth, when he performed Prince Henry. This 
was an unexpected meeting indeed ; and con- 
sidering the place, and all the circumstances be- 
longing to the scene, a thing more strange and 
affecting never came in my way. Our pleasure 
at this meeting was very great; and when the 
most affectionate salutations were over, my friend 
Price proceeded in the following manner. 

" Often had I remembered you since we parted, 
and exclusive of the Greek and English plays we 
have acted together at Sheridan's school, in 
which you acquired no small applause ; I have 
frequently thought of our frolicsome rambles in 
vacation-time, and the merry dancings we had at 
Mother Red-Cap's in Back-lane ; the hurling 



48 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

matches we have played at Dolphin's barn, and 
the cakes and ale we used to have at the Organ- 
house on Arbor-hill. These things have often 
occurred to my mind: but little did I think we 
should ever meet onStainmore-hills. What strange 
things does time produce ! It has taken me from a 
town-life to live on the most solitary part of the 
globe : — and it has brought you to journey where 
never man, I believe, ever thought of travelling 
before." 

V So it is," I replied ; " and stranger things, dear 
Jack, may happen yet before our eyes are closed: 
why I journey this untravelled way, I will inform 
you by and by ; when you have told me by what 
strange means you came to dwell in this remote 
and silent vale." "That you shall know," Price 
said, u very soon, as soon as we have eaten a morsel 
of something or other which my dear Martha has 
prepared against my return. Here it comes, a 
fowl, bacon, and greens, and as fine, I will answer, 
as London market could yield. Let us sit down, 
my friend, and God bless us and our meat!" 

We sat down immediately to supper, and most 

excellent every thing was. The social goodness 

of this fond couple added greatly to the pleasure 

of the meal, and with mirth and friendship we ate 

our capon, our bacon, and our greens. When 



THE SPIRIT OF BUJNCLE. 49 

we had done, Price brought in pipes and tobacco, 
and a fresh tankard of his admirable ale. "Lis- 
ten now," he said, " to ray story, and then I will 
hearken to yours." 

" When I left you at Sheridan's school, my re- 
move was from Ireland to Barbadoes, to become 
a rich uncle's heir; and I got by my Indian airing 
a hundred thousand pounds. There I left the 
bones of my mother's brother, after I had lived 
two years in that burning place ; and from thence 
proceeded to London, to spend what an honest, 
laborious man had long toiled to save. I lived a 
very dissipated life, till at last I found myself in 
very middling circumstances, and had not six 
hundred pounds left in the fourth year from my 
uncle's death. How to dispose of this and my- 
self was now the question. What shall I do, was 
my deliberation, to secure bread and quiet? Many 
a thoughtful hour this gave me ; and at length I 
determined to visit Westmoreland, when my wife, 
whom you saw at the head of the table, came by 
chance in my way, and pleased me so well with 
her good understanding, face, and person, that I 
resolved to marry her, if she would have me, and 
give her the management of my five hundred 
pounds on a farm, as she was a farmer's daughter, 
and could manage one to good advantage. Her 



50 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

father was lately dead, and this little mountain- 
farm she continued to occupy : therefore nothing 
could be more to my purpose, if I could prevail 
on her to make me her husband ; and with some 
difficulty she did, to my unspeakable felicity. 
She had no money worth mentioning ; but her 
house was pretty and comfortable, and her land 
had grain and cattle ; and as I threw into her lap 
my five hundred pounds, a little before we were 
married, to be by her disposed of and managed 
according to her pleasure, she soon made some 
good improvements and additions, and by her 
fine understanding, sweet temper, and every 
Christian virtue, continues to render my life so 
completely happy, so joyous and delightful, that 
I would not change my partner and condition for 
one of the first quality and greatest fortune. In 
her I have every thing I could wish for in a wife 
and a woman, and she makes it the sole study and 
pleasure of her life to crown me every day with 
the highest satisfactions and comforts. Two years 
have I lived with her on these wild mountains, 
and in that time I have not had one dull or pain- 
ful minute, but in thinking that I may lose her, 
and be the wretched survivor. That thought does 
sometimes wound me. — In short, my friend, we 
are the happiest of wedded mortals, and on this 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 51 

small, remote farm, live in a state of bliss to be 
envied. This proves that happiness does not flow 
from riches only ; but that, where pure and perfect 
love, strict virtue, and unceasing industry, are 
united in the conjugal state, they can make the 
Stainmore mountains a paradise to mortals, in 
peace and little. 

"But it is not only happiness in this world that 
I have acquired by this admirable woman, but 
life eternal; for she has also converted me from 
a wicked blaspheming infidel, to, I hope, a meek 
and humble Christian/' 

Here Price ended his remarkable story; and, 
according to our agreement, I began to relate what 
happened to me from the time we parted at school, 
and concluded with informing him, that I was 
going in search of Charles Turner, my near friend, 
when fortune brought me to this house ; that this 
gentleman lived somewhere toward the confines of 
Cumberland or the North-riding of Yorkshire ; 
but where the spot was, I could not tell ; nor did I 
know well how to go on, as the country before me 
seemed impassable, on account of its mountains, 
precipices, and floods : I must try, however, what 
can be done, not only in regard to this gentleman, 
but because I have reason to think it may be very 
much to my advantage, as he is very rich and the 
d 2 



52 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

most generous of men. If he is to be found, I 
know I shall be welcome to share in his hap- 
piness as long as I please. — Price to this replied, 
that I was most heartily welcome to him as long 
as I pleased ; and that though he was far from 
being a rich man, yet he had every day enough for 
himself and one more; and his Martha, he was 
sure, would be as well pleased with my company, 
as if I had been his own brother, since she knew 
I was his esteemed friend. In respect of the way, 
he said, he would enable me to find Mr. Turner, 
if he could, but the country was difficult to travel, 
and he doubted very much if a person could go to 
the extremity of Cumberland or Yorkshire over 
the hills ; but we would try, however, and, if it 
was possible, find out Mr. Turner's house. Yet 
solely with him I must not stay, if he could be 
found : I mast live between both, till! got some 
northern girl, and had a wife and habitation of my 
own. " And there is," continued Price, " not many 
miles from me, a sweet pretty lass, the daughter 
of a gentleman farmer, who is a very good man, 
and would, I believe, upon my recommendation, 
give you his girl, and a sum of money, to sit down 
on those hills." — " This is extremely kind, Jack," 
said I, " and what I shall gratefully remember as 
long as I live. I may ride many a mile, I am sure, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 53 

and be an adventurer many a long day, before I 
meet with such offers again. Your sweetly situated 
house and good things, with a fine northern girl 
and money down, are benefits not to be met with 
every day. But at present the object I must 
pursue is my university friend, Charles Turner; 
and if you please to do me the great favour of 
guiding me, so far as you can, over this wild, un- 
inhabited land, after I have stayed with you, for 
the first time, two or three days, and promise to 
abide many more hereafter if it be in my power, 
we will set out in quest of what I want/' u As you 
will, my friend," Price replied; "and for the present 
let us be gay. Here comes my beloved, with a 
little bowl of punch ; and as she sings extremely 
well, and you have not forgot, I fancy, our old 
song, we will have it over our nectar. You shall 
represent Janus and Momus, and I will be Chronos 
and Mars, and my wife Diana and Venus, Let 
us take a glass first — 'the liberties of the world' — 
and then do you begin." We drank, and in the 
following manner I went on. 



54 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



A SONG. 

Janus. 

Chronos, Chronos, mend thy pace, 
An hundred times the rolling sun 
Around the radiant belt has run, 

In his revolving race. 
Behold, behold the goal in sight, 
Spread thy fans, and wing thy flight. 

Chronos. 

Weary, weary of my weight, 
Let me, let me drop my freight, 
And leave the world behind. 

I could not bear 

Another year 
The load of human kind. 

Momus. 

Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! well hast thou done, 

To lay down thy pack, 

And lighten thy back. 
The world was a fool e'er since it begun ; 
And since neither Janus, nor Chronos, nor I, 

Can hinder the crimes, 

Or mend the bad times, 
'Tis better to laugh than to cry. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 55 

Chorus, 
Tis better to laugh than to cry. 

Janus. 

Since Momus comes to laugh below, 

Old Time begin the show ! 
That he may see, in every scene, 
What changes in this age have been. 

Chronos. 
Then, goddess of the silver bow, begin. 

Diana. 

With horns and with hounds I awaken the day, 
And hie to my woodland-walks away ; 
I tuck up my robe, and am buskin'd soon, 
And tie to my forehead a waxing moon : 
I course the fleet stag, and unkennel the fox, 
And chase the wild goats o'er summits of rocks, 
With shouting and hooting we pierce thro' the sky ; 
And Echo turns hunter, and doubles the cry. 

Chorus. 

With shouting and hooting we pierce thro' the sky, 
And Echo turns hunter, and doubles the cry. 

Janus. 
Then our age was in its prime, 



56 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

» Chronos. 
Free from rage, 

Diana. 

And free from crime. 

•Momus. 
A very merry, dancing, drinking, 
Laughing, quaffing, and unthinking time. 

Chorus. 

Then our age was in its prime, 
Free from rage, and free from crime. 
A very merry, dancing, drinking, 
Laughing, quaffing, and unthinking time. 

Mars. 

Inspire the vocal brass, inspire ; 
The world is past its infant age ; 

Arms and honour, 

Arms and honour, 
Set the martial mind on fire, 
And kindle manly rage. 

Mars has look'd the sky to red, 
And Peace, the lazy good, is fled. 
Plenty, peace, and pleasure fly ; 
The sprightly green 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 57 

In woodland- walks no more is seen ; 
The sprightly green has drunk thy Tyrian d) e, 

Chorus. 

Plenty, peace, and pleasure fly ; 
The sprightly green 
In woodland-walks no more is seen ; 
The sprightly green has drunk the Tyrian dye. 

Mars. 

Sound the trumpet, beat the drum, 
Through all the world around ; 
Sound a reveille, sound, sound, 
The warrior god is come. 

Chorus. 

Sound the trumpet, beat the drum, 
Through all the world around ; 
Sound a reveille, sound, sound, 
The warrior god is come. 

Momus. 

Thy sword within the scabbard keep, 

And let mankind agree ; 
Better the world were fast asleep, 

Than kept awake by thee. 
The fools are only thinner, 

With all our cost and care ; 



58 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE, 

But neither side a winner. 

For things are as they were- 

Chorus. 
The fools are only thinner, 

With all our cost and care ; 
But neither side a winner, 

For things are as they were, 

Venus. 
Calms appear when storms are past, 
Love will have its hour at last : 
Nature is my kindly care ; 
Mars destroys, and I repair ; 
Take me, take me, while you may, 
Venus comes not every day. 

Chorus. 

Take her, take her, while you may, 
Venus comes not every day. 

Chronos. 

The world was then so light, 
I scarcely felt the weight ; 
Joy ruled the day, and love the night. 
But since the Queen of pleasure left the ground, 
I faint, I lag, 
And feebly drag 
The ponderous orb around. 



THE SP1KIT OF BUNCLE. 59 

Momus, pointing to Diana. 
All, all, of a piece throughout : 
Thy chase had a beast in view ; 

To Mars. 
Thy wars brought nothing about; 

To Venus. 
Thy lovers were all untrue. 

To Janus. 

'Tis well an old age is out, 
And time to begin a new. 

Chorus. 
All, all, of a piece throughout : 
Thy chase had a beast in view ; 
Thy wars brought nothing about ; 
Thy lovers were all untrue. 
'Tis well an old age is out, 
And time to begin a new. 

In this happy manner did we pass the night in 
this wild and frightful part of the world, and for 
three succeeding evenings and days, enjoyed as 
much true satisfaction as it was possible for mor- 
tals to feel. Price was an ingenious, cheerful, 



60 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

entertaining man; and his wife had not only- 
sense more than ordinary, but was one of 
the best of women. I was prodigiously pleased 
with her conversation. Though she was no wo- 
man of letters, nor had any books in her house 
except the Bible, Barrow's and Whichcott's Ser- 
mons, Howell's History of the World, and the 
History of England ; yet from these few, a great 
memory, and an extraordinary conception of 
things, she had collected valuable knowledge, 
and talked with an ease and perspicuity that was 
wonderful. 

I took my leave of my friend John Price, and 
his admirable wife, promising to visit them again 
as soon as it was in my power ; and proceeded on 
my journey in quest of Mr. Turner. I would not 
let Price go with me, on second thoughts, as 
many sad accidents might happen in this rough 
and desolate part of the world, and no relief in 
such case to be found. If I fell, there was no one 
belonging to me to shed a tear on my account ; 
but if an accident should befal Jack Price, his 
wife would be miserable indeed, and I the maker 
of a breach in the sweetest system of felicity that 
love and good sense had ever formed. This made 
me refuse his repeated offers to accompany me. All 
1 would have was a boy and horse of his, to carry 



THE SPIRIT OF BINCLE. 61 

some provisions wet and dry, as there was no 
public-house to be found in ascending those tre- 
mendous hills, or in the deep vales through which 
I must go, nor any house that he knew of, beyond 
his own. 



62 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER VI. 



The morn, in russet mantle clad, 

Walks o'er the dew of yon high eastern hill. 

The jocund day 
Stands tiptoe on the misty mountains' tops. 



With the rising sun, then, I set out, and was 
charmed for several hours with the pure air and 
interesting views. The mountains, the rocky pre- 
cipices, the woods, and the waters, appeared in 
various striking situations as I travelled on, and 
formed the most astonishing points of view. 
Sometimes I was above the clouds, and then de- 
scended to enchanting valleys below. Here glens 
were seen that looked as if the mountains had 
been rent asunder to form the amazing scene ; 
and there, forests and falling streams covered the 
sides of the hills. Rivers in many places, in the 
most beautiful cascades, were tumbling along ; 
and cataracts from the tops of mountains came 
roaring down. The whole was grand, wonder- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 63 

ful, and sublime. Till the evening, I rode and 
walked, and in numberless windings round im- 
passable hills, and by the sides of rivers which it 
was impossible to cross, journeyed a great many 
miles : but no human creature, nor any kind of 
house, did I meet with in all the long way ; and as 
1 arrived at last at a beautiful lake, whose banks 
the hand of nature had adorned with vast old 
trees, I sat down by this water in the shade to 
dine, on a neat's tongue given me by good Mrs. 
Price ; and was so delighted with the striking 
beauties and stillness of the place, that I deter- 
mined to pass that night in this sweet retreat. 

From the lake I proceeded, the next morning, 
toward the north-east part of Westmoreland ; but 
was forced by the precipices to shape my course, 
from four in the morning till eight, to the north- 
west, and then the road turned east-north-east, 
till I came to a great glen, where a river made a 
rumbling noise over rocks and inequalities of 
many kinds, and formed a very wild and wonder- 
ful scene. The river was broad and deep, and on 
an easy descent to it was an assemblage of stones, 
that ran in length about one hundred feet, in 
breadth thirty feet, and somewhat resembling the 
Giant's Causeway, in the county of Antrim, and 
province of Ulster, in Ireland. 



64 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLR. 

Another extraordinary thing I saw in a valley 
was a boisterous burning spring. It rises with 
great noise and vibration, and gushes out with a 
force sufficient to turn many mills. The water is 
clear and cold, but to the taste unpleasant, being 
something like a bad egg. I judged from the na- 
ture of its motion, that the water would take fire ; 
and having lighted my torch, soon put it in a flame. 
The fire was fierce, and the water ran down the 
vale in a blaze. It was a river of fire for a consi- 
derable way, till it sunk under ground among some 
rocks, and thereby disappeared. After it had 
burnt some time, I took some boughs from a tree, 
and tying them together, beat the surface of the 
well for a few minutes, and the burning ceased. 
The water was not hot, as might be expected. 

Leaving this, we mounted a very high and dan- 
gerous hill, and from the top of it descended into 
twenty acres of rich and beautiful ground. It 
was covered with flowers and aromatic herbs ; 
and had, in the centre of it, a little grove of beauti- 
ful trees, among which were fruits of several kinds. 
A flowing spring of the purest water was in the 
middle of this sweet little wood, and ran in 
pretty windings over the ground. It refreshed and 
adorned the field, and it was beautiful to see the 
eer from the hills, and the goats, come down 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 65 

from the cliffs, to drink at these streams. The 
whole was surrounded with precipices that as- 
cended above the clouds ; and through one of 
these rocky mountains there was an opening that 
had a stupendous appearance. 

It was a vast amazing arch, that had some re- 
semblance of the Gothic aile of a large cathedral 
church, and terminated in a few rocks hanging 
over rocks in a manner frightful to behold. It 
measured an hundred yards in length, forty in 
>breadth, and I judged it to be fifty yards high. 
The pending rocks in view inclosed a space of 
four acres, and the bottom was so very deep that 
it looked the night below. What line I had could 
not reach it, nor could I make any thing of the 
depth by sound. The whole was a scene that 
harrowed the soul with horror. 

By the spring in the little grove I have men- 
tioned, I sat down, at eight in the morning, to 
breakfast on something that one of the lads pro- 
duced from his store; while the other was looking 
for a passage between these vast precipices that 
surrounded us. Two hours he wasted in the 
search, and then returned to inform me there was 
no passage that he could find : the inclosed rocks 
w r ere one continued chain of impassable moun- 
tains. Here then, I thought, was my ne phis ultra. 



66 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

As the lad affirmed there was no getting beyond 
the vast inclosing cliffs that walled in this charm- 
ing spot of earth, I imagined for some time, that 
I must of necessity return, and give over all 
thoughts of getting to the borders of Cumberland 
that way. It seemed impossible to proceed, and 
that was no small trouble to my mind. It was a 
great journey round, and if I did ride it, I knew 
not where to turn in on the confines of the coun- 
try my friend lived on ; for I had lost his direc- 
tion, and had only a small remembrance of his 
dwelling somewhere on the north edge of West- 
moreland or Yorkshire, or on the adjoining bor- 
ders of Cumberland, or the county of Durham. 
What to do I could not for some time tell. Going 
back I did not at all like ; and therefore, to avoid 
it if possible, resolved to pass the day in trying if 
I could find any way out, without climbing the 
mountain again that I had lately come down. 
Observing the hill, I took notice of a large clump of 
great trees in an angle, and in the mountain above 
them there appeared, as I thought, a distance or 
space that looked like an opening. I soon found 
it was so, and that at the back of this little wood 
there lay a very narrow way, only broad enough 
for two horses abreast ; that it extended due west 
for more than a mile, and then west-north-west 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 67 

for a quarter of a mile, till it terminated in a plain 
that was several miles in circumference, and en- 
tirely surrounded with hills. This I discovered 
in walking the pass by myself, and then returned 
to bring horses and boys through this amazing 
w r ay. It was quite dark and dangerous all along. 
It was evident from the ground, that stones had 
fallen from the tops of the hills ; and should any 
descend from so vast a height on us, though even 
small ones, they would, without all peradventure, 
cause immediate death. 

The plain we came into from the defile, was 
above a mile over to the opposite hills, and across 
it was a walk of aged oaks, that seemed, in such 
a place, as the avenue that leads to the Fairies' 
Castle of Wishes. If such beings there are, as 
a famous doctor has in one of his books affirmed, 
then here, I said, in this fine romantic region, 
where all the charms of the field, the forest, the 
water, and the mountains, are united, may be 
their favourite mansion, and perhaps they will ad- 
mit me into their fairy castle : then commences 
their friendship ; and, when they have all breathed 
on me, it is but wishing for the future, and the 
completion of every desire is granted the moment 
it is formed. Would not this be complete happi- 
ness ? what do you say, Reflection ? 
d 10 



68 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

No, Reflection answered, as we rode upon this 
avenue. Imagination may form fine pictures of 
felicity from an indulgence in every wish ; but, 
so blind are mankind to their own real happiness, 
that it is oftener to the gratification, than to the 
disappointment of their wishes, that all their mi- 
sery is owing. We often choose what is not con- 
sonant to the welfare of our nature, and strive to 
avoid those incidents which are fated in the order 
of incontrollable events for our good. Frequently 
do we labour to secure the things that debase us 
into slaves, and overwhelm us with calamity ; 
but seldom do we desire, rarely do we strive to 
obtain those objects, and acquire that station, 
which are most likely to render humanity as per- 
fect as it can be in this world, rational, and god- 
like, and thereby crown our lives with true hap- 
piness. Many a man has pursued a Venus, an 
estate, an honour, with much- toil and wonder- 
ful activity, and when possessed of the fancied 
blessing, has been made a very miserable mortal. 
The wished-for beauty has often made even the 
husband wretched. An aching fear is often co- 
vered with the laurel; and in respect of envied 
great fortunes, gaudy is the thing without, and 
within very often is mere bitterness. The wisdom 
is, as to this world, not to get from the fairies a 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 69 

power of enjoying all that fancy may desire, if 
that was possible; but, to act well and wisely, 
in the most reasonable, lovely, and fair manner, 
and propose nothing of ourselves but with a re- 
serve that SupremeWisdom permits it; welcoming 
every event with cheerfulness and magnanimity, 
as best upon the whole, because ordained of infi- 
nite reason ; and acquiescing in every disappoint- 
ment, as ultimately tending to our benefit. This, 
continued Reflection, in respect of this life, were 
there no other, is preferable to the Castle of 
Wishes, if we could find it at the end of this 
avenue. 

Thus did Reflection entertain me, as I rode up 
this grand shady w 7 alk, which looked like the ave- 
nue I had read of in the tales of the fairies, and 
brought me to a natural grotto, more beautiful 
than iElian's description of Atalanta's, or that in 
Homer, where Calypso lived. It was a large 
cavern at the bottom of a marble mountain ; and 
without, was covered round with ivy, that clung 
about some aged oaks, on each side the entrance, 
that seemed coeval with the earth on which they 
grew. Abundance of large laurel-trees, in clumps, 
adorned an extensive area before the door ; and 
saffron, and hyacinths, and flowers of many co- 
lours, covered in confused spots the carpet green. 



70 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

The beautiful ground refreshed the sight, and 
purified the air ; and, to enhance the beauties of 
the spot, a clear and cold stream gushed from a 
neighbouring rock, which watered the trees and 
plants, and seemed to combat with the earth, 
which of them most contributed to their growth 
and preservation. It was a sweet rural scene. 
For charms and solitude the place was equally to 
be admired. 

The inside of this grotto was a beautiful green 
marble, extremely bright, and even approaching 
to the appearance of the emerald. It was thick 
set with shells, some of the finest and largest 
kinds. The whole had a fine effect, and, as the 
cave had been divided by art into six fine apart- 
ments, and had doors and chimneys most ingeni- 
ously contrived, both the mansion and the situa- 
tion charmed me in a high degree. On each side 
of it were many neat cottages, and, as sheep were 
feeding in the field, cows grazing, and various 
kinds of tame fowl before the doors, I concluded 
it was an inhabited place. 

The first human being I beheld was an old 
woman, who appeared at a grotto-door, and I 
requested her to inform me who lived in this de- 
lightful place, and which was my best way to 
Cumberland? " Sir," replied the good old woman, 



THE SPIRIT OF BL'NCLE. 71 

" you are welcome to Burcott Lodge. Women 
only are the inhabitants of this spot : and over 
the hills before you you must go to get to the 
country you mention. We are an hundred souls 
in all that live here, and our mistress, superior and 
head, is a young woman. Her name is Azora. 
Yonder she comes, goodness itself; and as it is 
now seven in the evening, too late to proceed any 
farther in this part of the world, you had better 
walk up to her, and pay her your respects/' 
Great was my surprise at what I heard. A little 
female republic among those hills was news in- 
deed : and when I came near Azora, my astonish- 
ment increased. 

She was attended by ten young women, 
straight, clean, handsome girls, and surpassed 
them in tallness. Her countenance w T as mascu- 
line, but not austere : her fine blue eyes disco- 
vered an excellence of temper, while they shewed 
the penetration of her mind. Her hair was brown, 
bright and charming; and Nature had stamped 
upon her cheeks a colour that exceeded the most 
beautiful redof the finest flower. It was, all over, 
the maiden blush of a modest innocence. She 
was dressed in a fine woollen stuff, made in the 
manner shepherdesses are painted, and had on 
her head a fillet, with a bunch of artificial flowers 



72 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

in her hair. In her hand, she held a long and 
pretty crook ; and on her feet were seen black 
silk shoes, and the finest white stockings. She 
struck me greatly. She was a charming, and 
uncommon figure. When I came up to Azora, 
I could hardly forbear addressing her as the son 
of Ulysses did the supernal. — "Whoever you 
are, a mortal or a goddess, though sure your as- 
pect speaks you all divine, can you, unmoved, be- 
hold a hapless son, by fate expelled, and urged by 
unrelenting rage, to wander through the world, ex- 
posed to winds and seas, and all the strokes of ad- 
verse fortune, till he arrived in this land of felicity 
and peace?" — But, on better thoughts, I only said, 
" 1 am your most humble servant, Madam ;" and 
told her I believed I had lost my way, and knew 
not where to go. To which she replied, u You 
are welcome, Sir, to our hamlet, and to the best 
entertainment it affords: only tell me," she added 
with a smile, " what could induce you to travel 
this unbeaten road — and how did you pass the 
precipices and rivers you must have met with 
in the way?" — " Curiosity, Madam," I answered, 
M was one cause — that 1 might see a country no 
traveller had been in ; and my next inducement 
was, to find a valuable friend, who lives some- 
where in these parts ; and as I came from Burgh 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 73 

under Stainmore, I judged it the shortest way, 
and the likeliest to succeed in my inquiry after 
my friend : — then, as to hills and waters, many 
dangerous ones I have gone over, and with great 
toil and fatigue have got thus far." " This," 
Azora said, " is a rational account of your jour- 
ney ; and as there are many difficulties still before 
you, you are welcome to rest with us till you are 
refreshed, and able to proceed." 

By this time we reached the grotto-door, and 
upon entering the first apartment, I saw another 
lady, dressed in the same manner, and seeming to 
be of the same age, that is, about six-and-twenty. 
This was Azora' s companion and friend. She 
was a very pretty woman, though far inferior to 
Azora in charms : but her mind was equally 
luminous and good. Neither she nor Azora 
were learned women, that is, they understood 
no other language than the English, and in that 
they had but a small collection of the best books; 
but those few they had read well, and they had 
capacities to think. In reason, philosophy, and 
mathematics, they were excellent, and, in the most 
agreeable manner, discovered in conversation the 
finest conceptions of the most excellent things. 
Azora, of the two, was by much the best speaker. 
Her voice was delightful, and her pronunciation 

E 



74 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

just, strong, clear, and various. With unspeak- 
able pleasure did I listen to her, during three 
days that I happily passed with her and her com- 
panion, and received from both much valuable 
information. I thought I understood algebra 
very well, but I was their inferior, and they in- 
structed me ; and on the fundamental points of 
religion, they not only out-talked me, but out- 
reasoned me. It is very strange, I confess — it 
is, however, very true. 

With respect to Azora, her fancy furnished 
ideas with amazing facility, and she spoke with 
so much ease, that she could, if she pleased, 
discourse for hours without any inconvenience ; 
her judgment was so strong, and her words so 
proper and well placed, that I could have lis- 
tened to her with delight and amazement the 
whole night. But, exactly at ten o'clock, the 
old woman I mentioned before, who first bade me 
welcome to Burcot Lodge, came into the chamber 
with candles, and Azora told me, that if I would 
follow Gladuse she would light me to bed. I 
did immediately, after wishing the ladies good 
night ; and my guide brought me to her own cot- 
tage, which was next door to the grotto. She 
shewed me into a small clean room, neatly and 
prettily furnished, and there I found a good bed. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 75 

I rested extremely well ; and as the sun was rising, 
got up to write. 

When I had done writing, I went to wait upon 
the ladies, and found them in their fine gardens, 
busily employed in the useful and innocent diver- 
sion which the cultivation of some of the greatest 
beauties of the creation affords. They had every 
kind of fruit-tree in their ground, every plant and 
flower that grows, and such a variety of exotic 
rarities as engaged my admiration, and finely 
entertained me for many an hour, during my stay 
in this place. They both understood gardening 
to perfection. The digging and laborious work 
was performed by many young women, who did 
it with great activity and understanding ; and the 
nicer parts, these ladies executed. I was asto- 
nished and delighted with their operations of 
various kinds. It was beautiful to see with what 
exquisite skill they managed grafts and scions, 
directed the branches and twigs in posture on 
espaliers, and raised flowers. They had every 
thing in perfection. Their fruits, roots, arid 
herbs for the table, were most excellent; their 
collection of herbs for medicine the most valuable : 
and as the whole contrivance of the gardens was 
beautiful in grass, gravel, and variety of ever- 
greens, 1 was led with delight through the whole, 
e2 



76 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

till I came into the green-house. There I saw 
Azora and Antonia at work, and paid them the 
compliments they deserved. 

Immediately after my arrival, breakfast was 
brought in, chocolate and toasts, and the ladies 
were extremely pleasant over it. They asked 
me a great many questions about the world, and 
were so facetious in their remarks, and pleased with 
my strange account of things, that they laughed 
as heartily as I did, and that was at no small 
rate. This being done, we walked over every 
part of the gardens ; and Azora did me the 
honour not only to shew me all the curiosities 
and improvements she had made, in the manage- 
ment of seeds, flowers, plants, and tree v s; but 
lectured on various fine objects that appeared 
in our way, with a volubility of tongue, and a 
knowledge of the subjects, that was amazing. 
Were I to set down what she said even on sallads, 
cucumbers, cauliflowers, melons, asparagus, early 
cabbages, strawberries, raspberries, currants, 
gooseberries, apples, pears, plums, cherries, apri- 
cots, &c. and especially her production of mush- 
rooms, champignons, and buttons, this, exclusive 
of exotics and flowers, would make, I believe, an 
octavo : and in relation to exotics and flowers, 
I am sure she talked twice as much, and of every 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 77 

thing extremely well. I never heard any thing 
like her. The discourse cost her no more than 
the breath of her nostrils. 

But at last we came to a fish-pond, that was 
an acre of water, and I assure yon, reader, that 
in half an hour's time the illustrious Azora not 
only talked more of fish and ponds, than the 
ingenious, and honourable Roger North, of 
Rougham in Norfolk, has written on these 
subjects, in his excellent discourse, but men- 
tioned many useful things relative to them, to 
which Mr. North was a stranger. She told me, 
among other things, that there were only pike and 
perch in her pond, and that the reason of it was, 
that she loved pike above all fish, and, as the 
jacks were fish of prey, no fish but the perch 
could live with them : the perch, on account of 
the thorny fins on its back, escapes the pike's 
voracious appetite. 

But I shall now leave the fish, and proceed with 
the history of Azora. 

Azora Burcot was the daughter of a gentleman, 
who was once possessed of a very great fortune, 
but by a fatal passion for the grand operation, 
and an opinion of the possibility of finding the 
philosopher's stone, he wasted immense sums of 
money. His love of that fine ancient art, che- 



78 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

mistry, brought him into this misfortune. For 
improvement and pleasure, he had been long en- 
gaged in various experiments, and at last an adept 
came to his house, who persuaded him it was pos- 
sible to find the stone ; for he, the adept, had seen 
it with a brother, who had been so fortunate as to 
discover it, after much labour and operation. 
The colour of it was a pale brimstone, and trans- 
parent, and the size, that of a small walnut. 
He affirmed that he had seen a little of this, 
scraped into powder, cast into some melted lead, 
which turned it into the best and finest gold. 
This had the effect the adept desired ; and from 
chemistry, brought Mr. Burcot to alchymy. 
Heaps of money he wasted in operations of the 
most noble elixir, by mineral and salt ; but the 
stone, after all, he could not find : and then by 
the adept's advice, he proceeded in a second 
method, by maturation, to subtilize, purify, and 
digest quicksilver, and thereby convert it into 
gold. This likewise came to nothing ; and, in- 
stead of the gold he expected, he had only heaps 
of mercury fixed with verdigrise, which gives it a 
yellow tinge : gold it seemed, but on trial on the 
copple, it flew away in fumes, and the adept soon 
flew away after it. Too late this good and 
learned man saw he had been imposed on. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 79 

Chemistry is a fine and ancient art. The ana- 
lysing of sensible bodies by fire, to discover 
their real powers and virtues, is highly praise- 
worthy, and the surprising experiments we make, 
fill the mind of an inquirer after truth, with the 
greatest veneration for the w 7 onderful author of 
nature ; but more than this is a sad romance, that 
ends in empty pockets. Never think, then, of 
the hermetical banquet, Glauber's golden ass, or 
the philosopher's magical gold. By the law of 
honest industry, endeavour to be rich if you can, 
for this sole reason, that it is more blessed to 
give than to receive ; and, if that lies not within 
your capacity or means, be content with peace 
and little. There is more true happiness in 
daily bread, and the possession of the divine and 
social virtues, than in tons of gold without virtue. 

When Mr. Burcot found he had almost ruined 
himself, and that he was no longer able to live 
as he had done, he laid his melancholy case 
before his daughter Azora, and asked her advice, 
what he should do. Azora advised him to retire 
immediately to this part of Stainmore, which 
was an unvalued part of his estate, and bring as 
many of his tenants as he could persuade to 
inhabit this fine tract of land : — to sell what 
remained of his fortune, and with the money 



80 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

procure as many of the necessaries or comforts 
of living as could be had : to get, in particular, 
some young tradesmen and their wives, by 
offered rewards, in this place ; to build cottages 
for the people ; and render the fine caverns in 
the rock as habitable and pleasing for themselves 
as art could render them. " Here," Azora told her 
father, " we shall live more happy than we could 
do if still possessed of a fortune to make an 
appearance in the world. We shall enjoy, by 
industry and prudence, every good thing that 
rational life can require, and live secure from 
the strokes of fortune, and the world's contempt. 
Strangers to vanity and the pleasures of high life, 
in this delightful retreat, we shall pass our happy 
days as in a region of goodness, knowledge, and 
joy; and the predominant bent of our hearts will 
be to wisdom and virtue, and to ascend into the 
realms of perfect day." — " Happy advice !" the fa- 
ther of Azora said ; and the thing was immediately 
done. A colony was quickly established here, 
and every thing was settled and ordered in the 
most advantageous manner. Cattle, instruments, 
and grain to sow the land, were sent in ; clothes, 
and every material the little republic could want, 
were provided ; and every hand was as useful as 
we could wish. " For four years," Azora continued 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 



81 



to inform me, " we lived in peace and tranquillity, 
and never once regretted the loss of our fortunes. 
We were happier far than when we had thou- 
sands. Industry, knowledge, and religion, were 
our employment. The night to come, of pain and 
death, gave us no uneasiness. We lived as the 
Christians of the first two centuries, and rather 
longed for, than feared that event, which is to re- 
move us to growing brightness for ever and ever. 
But a fever came in among us, and swept away 
my father, and every man of our little republic : 
several women likewise perished ; but a hundred 
souls remained — ninety-eight women, besides An- 
tonia and Azora. These loved me too well," Azora 
continued, et to abandon me ; and as they were 
happily situated, and many of them had learned 
their husbands' trades, they agreed to spend their 
lives w 7 ith me here, and be as serviceable as pos- 
sible without admitting any men to live among 
us. They are so in the highest degree : they 
are all useful and pious as I could wish them, 
and under the heavens there is not a happier 
society of mortals. We have the best of every 
thing — all we want, and in reason we could 
wish for." 

Here Azora ended her relation, and I wondered 
greatly at what I heard ; nor did my admiration 
e.5 



82 THE SPIRIT OF BTJNCLE. 

decrease, when I saw how she governed this com- 
munity, and how they employed their time. Her 
great understanding enlightened and directed 
them in the execution of every thing serviceable 
and ingenious ; and she lived before their eyes 
an example of the greatest industry, and the most 
exalted piety. 

As to the ten young women I mentioned, who 
walked after Azora when first I saw her, they 
were the daughters of some widows in this little 
republic, and by her chosen, not only to be her 
attendants and upper servants, and to look after 
her dairy, her bees, her poultry, and her aviary 
(which was the finest I have ever seen, for the 
variety of birds), but on account of their under- 
standing, in which they excelled. These girls 
were carefully instructed by Azora and Antonia, 
and besides were taught the fine works of the 
needle, music, and the elements of the mathema- 
tics from the ladies. The eldest of these girls 
was but twenty, and the youngest eighteen ; and 
they all surprised me with their quickness in an- 
swering very difficult arithmetical questions. 
They could not only add, substract, multiply, 
divide, find a fourth proportional, and extract 
roots of every kind, with exactness and readiness, 
and apply them upon all common occasions ; but 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



83 



were perfect in fractions vulgar and decimal. 
They had even gone as far in algebra as the reso- 
lution of simple equations. 

These young women talked of problems, theo- 
rems, and equations, and soon convinced me, that 
I was not superior to them in this kind of know- 
ledge : though I had studied it for a much longer 
time, and had taken more pains than ever they 
did. Their fine understandings saw at once the 
things that had made me sweat many an hour; and 
in less time than I required for an operation, they 
could answer the most difficult questions, and do 
any thing in simple quadrate equations, and in 
the composition and resolution of ratios. This I 
thought very wonderful ; especially as they had 
been taught no longer than one year by Mr. Bur- 
cot ; and that they had acquired the most abs- 
truse part of their knowledge by their owti ap- 
plication. — I note the thing down as one of the 
strangest and most extraordinary cases that ever 
came in my way; perhaps, that ever was heard of. 
It is such a specimen of female understanding, as 
must for ever refute the positive assertions of 
some learned men, who will not allow that women 
have as strong reasoning heads as men. 



84 ' THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 



CHAPTER VII. 



-Of men 



The happiest he, who far from public rage, 

Deep in the vale retired, 
Drinks the pure pleasures of the rural life. 



1 took my leave of Mrs. Burcot and Mrs. 
Fletcher, for so they would be called, as they in- 
formed me, after I had once used the word Miss ; 
and from this fine place proceeded on my jour- 
ney by a paper of written directions I had re- 
ceived from them, as there was a pretty good, 
though a long and tedious way, out of the moun- 
tains, if a traveller knew the passes and turnings; 
but otherwise, it was either impossible to go on, 
or a man must journey at the hazard of his life a 
thousand times a day, in crossing waters and pre- 
cipices. 

Our first labour was to ascend a very narrow, 
steep way, in the side of a mountain, which went 
up due north for a full mile, and brought us to 
another large standing, black and unfathomable 



THE SPIRJT OF BlNCLE, 85 

water, on the top of this high hill. From this water 
we rode due east for half an hour, and then de- 
scended to a sandy valley, where flames were 
rising from the ground. The fire came up with- 
out noise, smoke, or smell. 

Having passed the burning valley, we rode over 
a deep river, and then proceeded along a steep 
hill side, till we came to a rich lowland, covered 
with flowers and aromatic shrubs, and adorned 
with several clumps of oak, chesnut, and white 
walnut-trees. This plain is about twenty-five 
acres, surrounded with stony mountains, some of 
which are very high and steep ; and from the top 
of one of the lowest of them, a cataract descends, 
like the fall of the river Niagara in Canada, or 
New France, in North America. Swifter than an 
arrow from a bow, that rapid water comes head- 
long down in a fall of one hundred and forty feet, 
which is three feet more than the descent of Nia- 
gara. The river here, indeed, is not half so large 
as that which comes from the vast lakes of Cana- 
da ; but it is a great and prodigious cadence of 
water, and falls perpendicularly in as surprising a 
manner, from as horrible a precipice ; and in this 
very nearly resembles the Niagara fall, that, as 
you stand below, as near the fall as it is safe to 
go, you see the river come down a sloping moun- 



86 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

tain for a great way, as if it descended from the 
clouds. It is a grand and amazing scene. The 
water issues from a great lake on the top of a 
mountain that I found very hard to ascend; and 
the lake has many visible feeders from hills upon 
hills above it, which it is impossible to climb. 

It was twelve o'clock by the time we arrived at 
this water-fall, and therefore I sat down by the 
side of it to dine, before I attempted to get up to 
the top of the precipice, and see from whence 
this water came. While my eyes were enter- 
tained with the descending scene, I feasted on a 
piece of venison pasty, and some fine ale, which, 
among other provisions, Mrs. Burcot had ordered 
her servants to put up for me : but, as I was thus 
happily engaged, my lad, O'Fin, had climbed up 
to the top of the water-fall, and was going to land 
from a tree that grew out of the rocky mountain, 
near the summit of the hill, when his foot slipped, 
and he came tumbling down in a miserable way. 
I expected him in pieces on the ground, as I had 
him full in my view. There seemed no possibi- 
lity of an escape ; and yet he received no harm. 
In the middle of the descent, he struck in another 
projecting thick tree, and from it came safely. 

Having dined, and shot a bustard that weighed 
forty pounds, I proceeded, the course north- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 87 

west, for half a mile, and then, to my astonish- 
ment, it trended to the south for more than an 
hour ; which was going back again : but at last 
it turned about, and for half an hour we went to 
the north-west again, and then due east for a long 
time, till we came to hills upon hills that were 
very difficult to pass. We were obliged to alight 
at many of them, and walk them up and down, 
which was a delay of many hours : but we did it 
at last, and came into a large sandy opening, that 
had a number of rapid streams breaking over it, 
that fell from the mountains, and with the forest 
on the surrounding hills, formed a very wild and 
pleasing scene. Over this we went for half a 
mile, and then came to a long glen, so very deep 
and narrow, that it was quite night when we got 
to the bottom of it, though the sun was not yet 
down ; and it brought to my remembrance Anchi- 
ses's son, the wandering prince of Troy, when he 
descended to the shades below. It had the ap- 
pearance, indeed, of some such pass, and was a 
frightful way, as hills, like Caucasus and Atlas, 
were close on either hand of us, and a river roared 
through the bottom of the steep descent ; whicli 
we were obliged to walk down on foot. This 
could not be the right road, I was certain. Azora 
and Antonia could never pass this deep and rapid 



88 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

flood. It was too much for any man to venture 
into, without knowing where the torrent went, or 
how the channel of the river was formed. 

Up then I came again to the day, and resolved 
to pass the night at the foot of one of the woody 
hills, on the margin of the streams that sounded 
sweetly over the shores : but how to proceed the 
next morning I knew not, as my paper of direc- 
tions did not mention the dark steep descent we 
had been down, but a little valley that lay due 
east, through which we were to go : no such vale 
could we see, and of consequence, in some turn- 
ing of the road, we had gone wrong. 

When I came among the trees, on the side of 
one of the mountains, I began to look for some 
convenient resting-place, while my two boys were 
picking the bustard, and preparing a fire to roast 
it for supper ; and wandered a good way till I saw 
a pretty hermitage in an open plain like a ring, 
and, going up to it, found the skeleton of a man. 
He lay on a couch in an inward room without any 
covering, and the bones were as clean and white 
as if they had come from the surgeon's hands. The 
ants, to be sure, had eaten off the flesh. Who the 
man was, a paper lying on the table in a strong 
box, informed me. It was called the case of 
John Orton. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 89 



THE CASE OF JOHN ORTON. 

I was twenty years old when Charles the Se- 
cond was restored ; and being master of large 
fortunes, and educated in an aversion to puritans 
and republican principles, went into all the licen- 
tiousness and impieties which overspread and 
corrupted this nation when that profligate prince 
ascended the throne. I drank up to the excess of 
the times : I deceived every woman I could get 
vithin my power, by gold, treachery, or force ; 
.uaid, wife, and widow : [ murdered several men 
in duels ; and blasphemed the God of Heaven 
continually. Satan was my first and last toast ; 
and, in a club I belonged to, I proceeded to such 
scarce-credible wickedness, as to perform the part 
of the priest in our infernal sodality. I was the 
most abominable of mortals. Contrary to all 
the dictates and principles of wisdom, virtue, and 
honour, I acted ; and lived the most execrable 
slave to the vilest inclinations and most heinous 
habits. 

In this diabolical manner did I pass my life 

away till I was forty, and in twenty years time 

committed every evil that can dishonour human 

manners, and infest society. I was a disgrace to 

e9 



90 THE SPIRIT OF J3UNCLE. 

my species, and unworthy of the name of man. At 
length being struck with remorse, I determined to 
reform, and retire from all human society ; I was 
afraid of the world, and trembled when I thought 
of its temptations : besides, the great wickedness 
of my past life made it necessary that I should 
live in an extraordinary state of penitence, and by 
oreat mortification and piety make what amends 
I could for sinning against Heaven in the most 
atrocious manner, and wilfully, for a long series 
of years, breaking every law of the just and holy 
Governor of the world. A change of mind, and 
common piety, were not enough for such a wretch 
as I had been. I was unworthy of the innocent 
comforts of life. I ought to breathe in sighs, 
and speak in groans. I resolved, then, to reform 
indeed, and in this part of Stainmore mountains, 
which I was well acquainted with, to spend the 
remainder of my days, in the labours of a peni- 
tential piety. 

As I had no relations living, I sold what estates 
I had left, and gave almost the whole money 
among the poor. With the little I kept, I bought 
what necessary things I should want in my soli- 
tude; and with tools and seeds, some clothes and 
linen, a few books, and other little matters, re- 
tired to this spot in the year 1681. I had some 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 91 

working men from the next village, to build me the 
little hut I live in; to sow my garden with every 
vegetable, and put some fruit-trees in the ground ; 
to cut me a pile of firing from the woody hills ; 
and make my place as convenient as my intended 
life could require. All this was soon done ; and 
then I was left alone, in the possession of every 
thing I had a wish for in this world. It is now 
twenty years since my arrival here, and in all the 
time I have not had one sick or dismal hour. 
My garden and my cottage employ me in agree- 
able labours, to furnish my table with roots and 
fruits ; which is what I mostly live on ; having 
nothing more but goats milk, and now and then 
a sea biscuit, my drink being water, and some- 
times a cup of meath of my own making. 

When I am weary of working, I sit down to 
study my Bible, and in that most perfect treasure 
of saving knowledge I find such joy and satis- 
faction, as make my life a scene of heavenly 
happiness, and charm me into raptures the nearer 
I approach to the hour of my dissolution. That 
will be a blessed hour. 

Fellow mortal, whoever thou art, into whose 
hands this paper cometh, 4ake my advice, and 
remember thy latter end. If, like me, thou hast 
been betrayed into great impieties and presump- 



92 THE SPIRIT OP BUNCLE. 

tuous sins, and hast been persuaded to abdicate 
heaven, and its eternal hopes, in exchange for 
illicit gratifications of every kind, and the plea- 
sures of this world ; then, like me, repent, and in 
tears and mortification implore the mercy of Hea- 
ven. We must cease to do evil, and learn to do 
well, in order to be saved. Not according to 
promises and prayers at last, not according to 
legacies to be paid to the poor when we are 
dead, shall we be judged ; but as we have recti- 
fied the judgment and the will, made virtue the 
governor of the heart, and in all things sought 
God's glory, not our own. This do, and you will 
live. 

May 1, 1701. John Orton. 



This extraordinary paper surprised me very 
greatly ; and when, from reading it, I turned my 
eyes to the bones of John Orton, I could not help 
breaking out in the following reflection : — And is 
this the once lively, gallant, drinking Jack Orton, 
who thought for forty years that he was made for 
no higher end than to gratify every appetite, and 
pass away time in a continual circle of vanity and 
pleasure ! Poor skeleton, what a miserable spec- 
tacle art thou ! Not the least remain of activity 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 93 

and joy, of that sprightliness and levity of mind, 
that jocund humour and frolic, which rendered 
thee the delight of the wild societies of thy 
youthful time. Grim, stiff, and horrid, is thy ap- 
pearance now : vain mirth and luxury, licentious 
plays and sports, can have no connexion with 
these dry bones. 

O Death, what a change dost thou make ! The 
bulk of mankind are averse to serious thought, 
and hearken to the passions more than to the dic- 
tates of reason and religion. To kill time, and 
banish reflection, they indulge in a round of dis- 
sipations, and revel in the freedom of vicious ex- 
cesses. Their attention is engrossed by spectacle 
and entertainments, and fixed to follies and trifles. 
Giddy and unthinking, loose and voluptuous, they 
spend their precious hours in the gay scenes of 
diversions, pomp, and luxury ; and as if the grave 
and a judgment to come were a romance of for- 
mer times, or things from which they are secured, 
never think of these important and momentous 
subjects. With minds bewitched by exorbitant 
pleasure, and faculties enervated and broken by 
idle mirth and vanity, they pass their every day 
away without any of that consideration which be- 
comes reasonable beings, and creatures designed 
for a state of immortality. But at last you ap- 



94 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

pear, and in a moment turn delight and admira- 
tion into aversion and horror: strength, wealth, 
and charms, you instantly reduce to weakness, 
poverty, and deformity, in the first place, and 
then to a skeleton, like the bones before me. 

I will take thy advice then, thou glorious peni- 
tent, John Orton ; and since it is in my power to 
come forth unto the resurrection of life, and ob- 
tain immortality, honour, and glory, with the 
righteous, in the kingdom of their Father, I will 
open the reforming gospel night and morning, 
and by its heavenly directions regulate my con- 
duct. I am determined to make a wise and seri- 
ous preparation for death and judgment. To the 
best of my power, I will provide for that day, 
when the prayers and charities of the righteous 
will be brought forth as their memorials before 
the tribunal of Heaven. 

Such was the soliloquy I spoke, as I gazed on 
the skeleton of John Orton ; and just as I had 
ended, the boys brought in the wild turkey, 
which they had very ingeniously roasted, and, 
with some of Mrs. Burcot's fine ale and bread, I 
had an excellent supper. The bones of the peni- 
tent Orton I removed to a hole I had ordered 
my lad to dig for them ; the skull excepted, which 
I kept, and still keep on my table, for a memento 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 95 

mori; and that I may never forget the good lesson 
which the percipient who once resided in it had 
given. It is often the subject of my meditation. 
When I am alone of an evening, in my closet, 
which is often my case, I have the skull of John 
Orton before me, and as I smoke a philosophic 
pipe, with my eyes fastened on it, I learn more 
from the solemn object, than I could from the 
most philosophical and laboured speculations. 
What a wild and hot head once : how cold and 
still now ! Poor skull ! I say : and what was the 
end of all thy daring frolics and gambols — thy 
licentiousness and impiety? — A severe and bitter 
repentance. In piety and goodness John Orton 
found at last that happiness the world could not 
give him. There is no real felicity for man, but 
in reforming all his errors and vices, and entering 
upon a strict and constant course of virtue. This 
only makes life comfortable ; renders death se- 
rene and peaceful; and secures eternal joy and 
blessedness hereafter. Such are the lessons I ex- 
tract from the skull of John Orton. 

When I had supped, I went about to see what 
things Mr. Orton had left behind him in his little 
cottage ; and I found a large field bedstead, with 
a mattress, silk blankets, quilt, and cotton cur- 
tains; two oak stools, and a strong square table 



96 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

of the same wood ; an oak settee, on which his 
bones lay ; a silver lamp to burn oil in ; a tinder- 
box and matches ; a case of razors ; six handsome 
knives and forks in a case ; half a dozen china 
plates, two china dishes, and two pint mugs of 
the same ware ; half a dozen drinking-glasses, a 
large copper kettle, a brass skillet, two silver 
spoons, and a silver ladle. In a chest were clothes 
and linen, shoes and stockings, and various useful 
matters. There were pens, ink, and paper in a 
writing-desk, and half a score guineas ; and on a 
shelf over it, a dozen good books ; three of which 
were a large English Bible, Thomas a Kempis, 
and Sir Walter Raleigh's History of the World : 
under the shelf hung a plain gold watch, and a 
large ring sun-dial. In a dark closet, I found a 
box of sea-biscuits, many flasks of oil for eating, 
and jars of it for the lamp ; honey, salt, and vine- 
gar ; four dozen of quart bottles of meath, and 
two stone bottles, that held three gallons each, 
full of brandy : this I suppose was against the 
days of weakness or sickness. He had not used 
a pint of this liquor. 

Having found these things within doors, I pro- 
ceeded from the house to the garden, which lay at 
a small distance from the little thatched mansion, 
and contained about four acres : it had been very 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 97 

beautifully laid out, and filled with the best fruifc- 
trees, and all the vegetables : but it was run to 
ruin and high weeds, and shewed that its owner 
had been long dead. I suppose he died soon after 
the date of his paper ; for I observed that many 
prior dates had been struck out ; and had he lived 
after the year 1701, he would, in all probability, 
have razed that likewise, and set down 1702. 
Some sudden sickness must have seized him; and 
perhaps, when he found himself sinking, he laid 
himself out naked on the wooden couch where I 
found his skeleton. I can no otherwise account 
for his having no kind of covering over him. As 
to his bones being so clean, that, to be sure, was 
performed by the ants. I took notice of many 
nests here of the larger ants, in holes under the 
roots of great trees. 

There was a pretty little wooden summer-house 
in the centre of the garden, and in it had been, 
in pots, some curious plants and flowers. Here 
were various tools, and many instruments of gar- 
dening. It appeared from them, and the great 
variety of things in the ground, that Mr. Orton 
must have used himself to hard labour, and found 
great pleasure in his improvements and produc- 
tions. There was a deal of art and ingenuity to 
be traced in the wild wilderness the garden was 

I 



98 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

grown into. It was plain, from a book called ' The 
Carthusian Gardener' which lay on a table in the 
summer-house, that he had made that business 
his study. Round this summer-house were the 
remains of many hives on benches, but the bees 
were all gone, and the stock ruined. 

All these things, and the place, set me a think- 
ing, and soon suggested to my fancy, that, in my 
condition, I could not do better than succeed Mr. 
Orton on the premises ; but without turning 
hermit. Here is, I said, a pretty small thatched 
mansion, that might easily be enlarged, if more 
rooms were wanting ; and a garden, which labour 
would soon restore to its usefulness and beauty, 
and make it produce the best vegetables in plenty. 
Here is fish in the waters, fowl of every kind, and 
deer on the mountains. Here are goats in great 
herds, for milk, for kids, and when cut, for excel- 
lent venison. Here is the finest water; and by 
getting bees, as Mr. Orton had, meath may be 
made, that will be equal to the best foreign wine. 
As to the situation, it is most delightful. Nothing 
can be more charming than these shores and 
breaking waters, the rocky precipices and the 
woody hills, which surround this little region. 
What then should hinder but that I here sit down, 
and put an end to my adventures; as the few 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 99 

things that are wanting may be had at the next 
town, and a stock for years be in a few days se- 
cured ? The man I am looking for may never be 
found ; and if I should meet with him, his cir- 
cumstances and temper may be changed ;— then, 
as to the world, I know not how to deal in any 
kind of business ; and to live on the small fortune 
in my possession, must reduce me to poverty very 
soon. Here then it is good for me to reside, and 
make myself as happy as I can, if it be not in my 
power to be as happy as I would. I have tw r o 
lads with me, who are active, useful young men, 
willing to work, and pleased to stay w T herever I 
am ; and if I can commence a matrimonial relation 
with some sensible, good-humoured, dear, de- 
lightful girl of the mountains, and persuade her to 
be the cheerful partner of my still life, nature and 
reason will create the highest scenes of felicity, and 
we shall live as it were in the suburbs of heaven. 
My lads too may pick up among the hills, upon 
scripture principles, two bouncing females : and a 
state will in a little time be formed. This is fine. 
For once in my life I am fortunate. And suppose 
this partner I want in my solitude could be Miss 
Melmoth, one of the wisest and most discreet of 
women ; a thinking bloom, and good-humour 
itself in a human figure ; then indeed I must be 
f2 



100 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

happy in this silent, romantic station. This spot 
of earth would have all the felicities. — Resolved. 
Conclusum est contra Manicheos, said the great St. 
Austin ; and with a thump of his fist, he cracked 
the table. 

Thus was my head employed while I smoked a 
pipe after supper, and I determined to return to 
Orton's mansion, after I had found a way out of 
Stainmore ; but the previous question was, how I 
should get out of the place I was in, without go- 
ing back, as there appeared no passage onwards. 
Early next morning, one of the lads came running 
to me, to let me know that he had found a pass 
wide enough for one horse to go through, and he 
believed it was a way out. This was reviving 
news; and upon going into it, I found that it went 
straight on among the mountains, like a rent, or 
open crack, for three hundred yards, and then 
turned to the left for about fifty more, when it 
wound a little, and began to extend wider and 
wider every yard, till it brought us by several 
turnings to the beginning of a fine valley, where 
we again found the river we had seen in the bot- 
tom of the deep glen, and perceived that it ended 
in a great water, and went off in some subterranean 
way. The mountains were almost close to this 
fine water, on each side, for near half a mile, and 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 101 

made a delightful rural scene. We could see the 
river, as we looked up it, come rolling on for a 
great way between the steep rocky precipices ; 
and the broad bright lake it formed between vast 
frowning mountains, with wood and lawns in it, 
at the end of the vale, were altogether a view 
most charming. This made me more highly va- 
lue Orton-Lodge. 

There is a cave there likewise that adds great 
beauty to the place, and in charms and won- 
ders exceeds the Grot of Tunis, a few miles east 
of Carthage, directly under Cape Bonn, formerly 
called the promontory of Mercury, where iEneas 
sheltered during the storm. 

The cave in Stainmore is in the bottom of a 
perpendicular mountain of a vast height, the east 
side of the lake, and four yards from the shore. 
The entrance is a grand sweep, high and broad as 
the grot, that is, in breadth fifty-two feet, in 
height fifty-nine. It is an hundred and forty-se- 
ven feet long. The stone of it is extremely beau- 
tiful ; of a yellow and reddish colour, bright and 
glittering, and beautifully variegated with arched 
and undulated veins of various tinges. I broke 
off a piece of it, and found it a congeries of plates 
of spar, stained with a fine mixture of colours. 
It is a species of the alabaster, called Marmar 



102 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Onichites, on account of its tabulated zones, re- 
sembling those of the onyx, and is very little in- 
ferior to the Egyptian alabaster. 

The top of the cave is a bold arch, finished be- 
yond all that art could do, and the floor is as 
smooth as it is possible to make the stone. At 
the far end of the grot, there are a dozen rows of 
seats like benches, that rise one above another. 
The uttermost will hold but two people, on each 
of the others a dozen may sit with ease : they 
make the place look as if it were the assembly- 
room, or council-chamber, of the water nymphs. 
There was no water dropping from the roof of this 
cave ; but in a thousand places, where moss had 
agreeably covered the walls, it crept through the 
sides, and formed streams that ran softly over the 
ground, and wore it smooth. It brought to my 
remembrance some very poetical lines in Lucretius. 

They bubble thro' the stones, and softly creep, 
As fearful to disturb the nymphs that sleep. 
The moss spread o'er the marbles, seems to weep ? 

This was exactly the case of the water in this 
fine cave. In the lowest harmony, it gently fell 
over the slanting floor; and as Oldham has it — 

Away the streams did with such softness creep, 
As 'twere by their own murmurs lull'd asleep. 



THE SPIRIT OF Bt'NCLE. 103 



CHAPTER VIII. 



Tumultuous days, and restless nights, 

Ambition ever knows ; 
A stranger to the pure delights 

Of study and repose. 



Such was the delightful spot I at last disco- 
vered, when I thought I was come to the ne plus 
ultra, that is, had gone on till I could go no far- 
ther ; and now, seeing how my way lay, I departed 
from Orton Lodge betimes the next morning, 
leaving my lad O'Fin to keep possession of the 
place till I returned, and, with the other boy, went 
through the lawns in the wood I have mentioned 
at the end of the vale. This brought me to a 
range of mountains most frightful to behold, and 
to the top of them, with great toil, we managed 
to climb, and from thence descended, through 
many perils, to a bottom, between the hills we had 
come down, and some mountains that stood at a 
small distance from them. We came at last into 
a large and spacious plain, that was surrounded 



104 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

with hills, whose tops and sides were covered 
with ancient trees and lofty groves, and some 
mountains whose heads were above the clouds. 
Flowers, and clover, and other herbs, adorned the 
ground, and it was watered with many never-dry- 
ing streams. The plain seemed a vast amphithe- 
atre by Nature formed ; and variety and disposi- 
tion refreshed the eyes whatever way they turned. 

In the very centre of this ground, I found a 
house and gardens that charmed me very much. 
The mansion had a rusticity and wildness in its 
aspect beyond any thing I had seen, and looked 
like a mass of materials jumbled together without 
order or design. There was no appearance of 
rule in any part ; and where a kind of proportion 
was to be seen, it seemed as a start into truth, 
by the inadvertent head of blind chance. It was 
the most gothic, whimsical, four-fronted thing 
without, that ever my eyes beheld ; and within, 
the most convenient, comfortable dwelling I haye 
seen. 

This edifice, which looks more like a small 
gothic cathedral than a house, stands in the 
middle of large gardens, which are not only very 
fine, but different from all the gardens I have 
been in. There is no more rule observed in them, 
than in the house ; but the plantations of trees, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 105 

and plots of flowers, the raised hills, the artificial 
valleys, the streams that water these vales, and 
the large pieces of water and lakes they have 
brought in and formed, are inexpressibly charm- 
ing and fine. Wild and natural they seem, and 
are a beautiful imitation of the most beautiful 
scenes of nature. The wilderness, the openings, 
the parterres, the gardens, the streams, the lakes, 
the cascades, the valleys, and the rising grounds, 
in the most various disposition, and as if art had 
little or no hand in the designs, have an admira- 
ble effect upon the eye. 

The passages from valley to valley, between 
the hills they have made, are not by formal 
straight walks, but by windings in various ways, 
which are decorated with little grottos, and di- 
versified in the manner of laying out the ground : 
the streams and canals sometimes serpentine, and 
sometimes spread away. Rocks, artfully placed, 
seem to push the waters off, and on the banks are 
seeming wild productions of flowers. As the 
hills and risings are sprinkled with flowery trees, 
so are these banks with all the sweets that grow. 
Small boats are on the running streams ; and over 
them, in many places, are winding bridges of 
wood, most ingeniously and finely made. These 
streams, which they have from the mountains, 
f5 



106 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

supply the larger pieces of water ; and in the 
largest of those lakes they had raised a rock, in 
the most natural manner. On this is a summer- 
house of great beauty. It is the reverse of the 
mansion, and has every charm that pure architec- 
ture could give it. It is large enough for a small 
family. 

When I came up to this seat, which the owners 
of it call Ulubra, some gentlemen, who were in 
the gardens, saw me, and saved me the trouble 
of asking admission, by inviting me in with the 
greatest civility ; but they seemed under a great 
surprise at my arrival ; and much more so, when 
I gave them an account of the way I had travelled. 
It appeared almost incredible. They had not a 
notion of such a journey. They told me I was 
now in Yorkshire, and had been so when I as- 
cended the high mountains that are some miles 
behind the hills that surround their house ; but 
they did not imagine there was any travelling 
over those mountains, and the alps upon alps 
beyond them, to Brugh under Stainmore. It was 
a terrible way, I replied, and what I often de- 
spaired of coming through, even at the hazard of 
my life. But friendship and curiosity were too 
many for all the obstacles in the way ; and in 
hopes of finding a beloved friend, who lives 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 107 

somewhere in these parts, and that I might see a 
part of England, which even the borderers on it 
are strangers to, and of which Camden had not an 
idea, I went on, and have had success thus far. 
The journey has been worth my pains. I have 
beheld the most delightful scenes, and met with 
very extraordinary things ; and should I find my 
friend at last, my labours will be highly rewarded 
indeed. 

The gentlemen I was talking to, seemed to 
wonder very much at me and my discourse ; and 
as the rest of the society by this time came into 
the parlour, they introduced me to them, and 
then related what I had said. They all allowed 
it was very extraordinary, and requested I would 
oblige them with some particulars that occurred. 
I did immediately. I told them, among other 
things, of my reception at Burcot-Lodge — and 
the skeleton of John Orton, which I found in the 
cottage on the side of a woody hill : I let them 
know the goods and conveniences I saw there, 
and that I was so pleased with the beauties of the 
place, the little mansion, the once fine gardens, 
and the useful things on the premises, that I in- 
tended to return to it, and make it my summer 
retreat ; that I had left a man there to that pur- 
pose, who was at work in the garden, and ex- 



108 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

pected to be back in a month's time, with such 
things as were wanting to make it an agreeable 
and comfortable little country-house. 

The philosophers wondered not a little at what 
they heard. If they were surprised at seeing me 
as a traveller in such a place, they were much 
more astonished at my relation. They could not 
enough admire Mrs. Burcot and Mrs. Fletcher. 
The history of the penitent Orton, they thought 
very strange. They told me they were glad I had 
a thought of making Orton Lodge a summer re- 
treat, and hoped it would occasion my calling 
upon them many times : that I should always be 
heartily welcome to their house, and might with 
less difficulty go backwards and forwards, as their 
lodge was at my service whenever I was pleased 
to do them the favour to call. This was civil, and 
I returned them the thanks they deserved. 

Here dinner was brought in, and with these 
gentlemen I sat down to several excellent dishes. 
There was the best of every kind, and it was 
served up in the most elegant manner : their wine 
in particular was old and generous, and they gave 
it freely. We took a cheerful glass after dinner, 
and laughed a couple of hours away in a delight- 
ful manner. They were quite polite, friendly, and 
obliging; and I soon found, in conversing with 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 109 

them, that they were men of great reading, and 
greater abilities. Philosophy had not saddened 
their tempers. They were as lively companions, 
as they were wise and learned men. These gen- 
tlemen are twenty in number, men of fortune, who 
had agreed thus to live together. Every member 
lays down a hundred pounds on the first day of the 
year, and out of that fund they live, pay their ser- 
vants, keep their horses, and purchase everything 
the society requires. What is wanting at home, 
this stock produces, and is to be expended only at 
Ulubrse, for every thing necessary and comforta- 
ble, except raiment and horses. When they are 
abroad, it is at a plus-expense. 

I call these gentlemen philosophers, because, ex- 
clusive of their good morals, they devote the prin- 
cipal part of their time to natural philosophy and 
mathematics, and had, when I first saw them, 
made a great number of fine experiments and 
observations in the works of nature, though they 
had not been a society for more than four years. 
They make records of every thing extraordinary 
which comes within their cognizance, and register 
every experiment and observation. They make all 
the mathematical instruments they use, and have 
brought the microscope, in particular, to greater 
perfection than I have elsewhere seen it. 



110 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

In one of their best double reflecting optical in- 
struments, the finest point of a needle appeared 
blunt and unequal, like a broken nail ; the finest 
edge of a razor was like the back of a dog, with 
the hair up ; the finest paper was great hairs, 
cavities, and inequalities ; and the smoothest plate 
of glass was very rough, full of cracks, fissures, 
and inequalities. Very different, indeed, are the 
things finished by human art, from the things 
finished by the hand of Nature. The points, the 
edges, the polish, the angles, every thing that 
Nature produces, appear in the instrument in a 
perfection that astonishes the beholder. 

In the views I here took of the vegetable world, 
with my eye thus armed, I saw many extraordi- 
nary things I had never observed before. I took 
notice, in particular, that a sage-leaf is covered 
with a kind of cobweb, in which swarms of little 
active creatures, with terrible horns and piercing 
eyes, are busily employed. In a nettle, I observed 
its whole surface covered over with needles of the 
most perfect polish, every one of which had three 
points, and that these needles rested on a base, 
which was a bag of a flexible substance, in form 
of a wild cucumber, and filled with a sharp, poi- 
sonous liquor: this is discharged at the extremity 
of every point of the needles that cover the sur- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUXCLE. HI 

face of the nettle : from a hole visible in every 
point the poison is thrown out, and excites a 
sense of pain ; and a heat arises as the blood 
flows more copiously to the wounded part. By 
pressing with my finger the extremity of the 
prickles, the bag of poison fell ; and on taking 
off the finger, it swelled again. — What a piece of 
workmanship is here in a nettle ! Wonderful are 
thy works, thou supreme Power ! 

A leaf of sorrel in this microscope exhibited 
oblong, rough, and straight atoms, sharp as 
needles, and from thence the tongue is twinged. 
In a bud cut away with a fine needle from a steeped 
seed of a French bean, I saw T the entire plant ; and 
in an almond so cut away, the perfect tree. 

In the double reflecting telescope, a louse and 
a flea were put ; which are creatures that hate 
each other, and fight to death when they meet. 
The flea appeared first in the box, and as he was 
magnified very greatly, he looked like a locust 
without wings ; with a roundish body, that is ob- 
tuse at the end, and the breast covered with an 
armature of a triangular figure ; the head small in 
proportion to the body, but the eyes large, red, 
and very fierce : his six legs were long, robust, 
and made for leaping ; the antennee short, but 
firm and sharp ; his tail was scaly, and full of 



112 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

stings, and his mouth pointed into active pincers : 
his colour was a deep purple. 

The louse, in white, was next brought on, and 
had a well-shaped, oblong, indented body: his six 
legs were short, made for walking and running, 
and each of them armed at the extremity with two 
terrible claws : the head was large, and the eyes 
very small and black : his horns were short and 
jointed, and could be thrust forward with a spring : 
his %nout was pointed, and opened, contracted, 
and penetrated, in a wonderful manner. 

The first that was brought on the stage was the 
ftea, and to shew us what an active one he was, 
he sprung and bounced at a strange rate : the 
velocity of his motions in leaping, were astonish- 
ing ; and sometimes, he would tumble over and 
over in a wanton way : but the moment the louse 
appeared, he stood stock still, gathered himself 
up, and fixed his flashing eyes on his foe. The 
gallant louse with a frown for some time be- 
held him, and then, crouching down, began very 
softly to move towards him; when the flea gave a 
leap on his enemy, and, with his dangerous tail 
and pinching mouth, began the battle with great 
fury. But the louse soon made him quit his hold, 
by hurting him with his claws, and wounding 
him with his sharp snout. This made the flea 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 113 

skip to the other side of the box ; and they both 
kept at a distance for near a minute, looking with 
great indignation at each other, and offering 
several times to advance. The louse did it at 
last in a race, and then the flea flew at him, which 
produced a battle as terrible as ever was fought 
by two wild beasts. Every part of their bodies 
was in most violent motion, and sometimes the 
flea was uppermost, but more frequently the louse. 
They did bite, and thrust, and claw one another 
most furiously; and the consequence of the 
dreadful engagement was, that the flea expired, 
and the louse remained victor in the box : but he 
was so much wounded that he could scarce walk. 
This battle was to me a very surprising thing, as 
each of them was magnified to the size of two feet. 
But, considering what atoms of animated matter 
they were, it was astonishing to reflection to 
behold the amazing mechanism of these two 
minute things, which appeared in their exertions 
during the fray. It was still more strange to see 
the aversion these small creatures had to each 
other, the passions that worked in their little 
breasts, and the judgment they shewed in their 
endeavours to destroy one another. Nor was it 
the least part of my admiration to see, through 
the extraordinary transparencies of the louse, the 



114 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

violent circulation of the blood in its heart. This 
was as plain as red liquor forced by a pump in se- 
veral experiments through circulating glass pipes. 
Another extraordinary thing these gentlemen 
shewed me, was a hole leading to some wonder- 
ful caverns in the side of a mountain, about a mile 
to the north of their house. This is the work of 
Nature, a steep and narrow descent of twenty- 
three yards, which I went down by having a rope 
under my arm, and setting my hands and feet 
against the sides of the passage, till I came to a 
flat rough rock, which opened two yards and a 
half one way, and four yards the other. This lit- 
tle cavern was two yards high. We went from it 
into a more easy sloping way, which brought us 
downward for thirteen yards, till we came to ano- 
ther cavern, that was six yards long, and four 
and a half broad. Here we found a perpendicu- 
lar tunnel, two yards wide, and sixty-seven yards 
deep ; but where it went to, and what caused the 
noise below, the gentlemen who came thus far 
with me, could not tell ; for they had never ven- 
tured into it, nor could they persuade any of their 
people to be let down to the bottom, though 
they had found by the lead that there was hard 
ground below. "I will then/' I said, "explore this 
subterranean realm, if you will let me and my lad 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 115 

down, with proper conveniences for an inquiry 
of the kind; and I dare say I shall give you a good 
account of the region below." This, they answer- 
ed, was not safe for me to do. I might perish 
many ways. The damps and vapours might kill 
me at once ; or my lights by them might be put 
out, or kindle the vapour of the place below. 
But to this 1 said, that I was sure the noise we 
heard at the bottom was some running water, and, 
wherever that was in the caverns of the earth, the 
air must be pure and good. " As you please then," 
the gentlemen replied; "you shall have everything 
you can desire, and be let down very safely, how- 
ever you may fare when you get to the ground ; 
and when you want to come up, pull the pack- 
thread you have in your hand, that will be tied to 
a bell at the top of the tunnel, and you shall be im- 
mediately drawn up again." These things being 
agreed, they let me down in a proper basket the 
next morning at eight o'clock, with a lighted torch 
in my hand ; and soon after, my man Ralph fol- 
lowed, with every thing I had required. 1 was 
more than half an hour going down, for the rope 
was given like a jack-line from the engine it came 
from. I saw several dismal lateral holes by the 
way; but no mischief or inconvenience did I meet 
with in my passage to the ground. 



116 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

When I came to the bottom, 1 found I was in 
a chamber of great extent, and, though one hun- 
eked and three yards from the day, breathed as 
free as if I had been above ground. A little 
river made a noise in its fall from a high rock, 
within four yards of the spot I landed on, and ran 
with impetuosity in a rough channel I knew not 
where. The water was not deep, as we found with 
our poles, and but three yards broad; and there- 
fore we crossed it, at one hundred yards from the 
fall, to get into a cavern, that had an arched en- 
trance, on the other side, within two yards of the 
stream. Our course to the crossing was due west, 
and then we went to the north, on passing the 
water, and walking up the second cave. 

In it we ascended for seventy-nine yards, an 
easy rising way, and then came to a swallow, into 
which a river that ran towards us fell. Our course 
to this place was due north, but, as the flood came 
from the west, we turned next to that point, and 
by the side of this water marched fifty yards. 
The cavern was so wide we could not see the 
walls, and the roof was of a vast height. 

At the end of the fifty yards, the river appeared 
due north again, and by its side we went for ten 
more, till we came to another vast cavern, that 
was a steep ascending opening, down which the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 117 

river very musically came. This steep reaches to 
the summit of the vast hills, and ends in an open- 
ing into day. We came out this way of an ex- 
ceeding high mountain, after we had climbed 
from the bottom to the upper end, four hundred 
and seventy-nine yards : add to this two hundred 
and twenty-nine yards, the way we had come from 
the bottom of the tunnel to the beginning of the 
watery steep, and our march through the moun- 
tain, from the time we parted with the gentle- 
men, to our getting out at the top of it, was seven 
hundred and eight yards. 

This was a laborious route, and performed at 
the hazard of our lives. Once, in particular, my 
lad Ralph fell into the river with his torch in the 
great ascent ; and in striving to save his life, I 
lost the other light I carried in my hand. This 
reduced us to a state of the blackest darkness, 
and in that condition we could not stir. It was 
a horrible scene. It chilled my blood, and 
curdled it in my veins ; but I had a tinder-box, 
matches, and wax-candle, in my pocket, and soon 
recovered the desirable light ; at which we lighted 
other torches, and proceeded to ascend the rough 
and rocky steep, till we came to the fountain 
that made the descending flood. The opening 
upwards from that became very narrow, and the 



118 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

slant so great, that it was extremely difficult to 
go on ; but, as I could see the day at the end of 
it, I resolved to strive hard, and mount, if possi- 
ble, these remaining sixty yards. In short, we 
did the work. As before related, we came out 
this way, and from the dismal caverns of night 
ascended to a delightful plain : from which we 
again beheld the glorious sun, and had the finest 
points of view. It was by this time noon ; and, 
under the shade of some aged trees, that grew on 
the banks of a great lake, on the summit of this 
vast hill, I sat down to some bread and wine I 
had brought with me for relief. Never was re- 
past more sweet. I was not only fatigued very 
much, but had been in fear as to my ever climb- 
ing up, and knew not how to get down, when I 
had mounted two thirds of the way. The descent 
was a thousand times more dangerous than the 
ascent. 

When I had done, I walked about to see if 
there was any way down the mountain's sides to 
go to Ulubrse, from whence I came ; but for miles 
it was a frightful perpendicular rock next that 
place, and impossible for a goat to descend. 
And on the side that faced Bishoprick, and a fine 
country-house and gardens, about a quarter of a 
mile off, in a delightful valley, that extended with 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 119 

all the beauties of wood and lawn, meadow and 
prater, from the foot of the mountain I was on — 
the precipice here was a terrible way for a man 
to venture down ; but it was possible to do it 
with a long pole, at the hazard of his life, as the 
rocks projected in many places, and the side 
went sloping off; and therefore I resolved to de- 
scend. I could not think of going back the way 
I came ; since I had got safe into day again, I 
thought it better to risk my limbs in the face of 
the sun, than perish, as I might do, in the black 
and dismal inside of those tremendous hills. Be- 
sides, the house in my view might be, perhaps, 
the one I wanted. It was possible my friend 
Turner might live there. 

With art and caution then I began to descend, 
and so happily took every offered advantage of 
jutting rock and path in my way, that without 
any accident I got in safety down ; though the 
perils were so great, that often I could not reach 
from rock to rock with my pole. In this case, I 
aimed the point of my pole at the spot I intended 
to light on, and clapped my feet close to it, when 
I went off in the air from the rock : the pole com- 
ing first to the place broke the fall, and then, slid- 
ing gently down by it, I pitched on the spot I de- 
signed to go to, though six, seven, or eight fathom 



120 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

off, and the part of the rock below not more than 
a yard broad. It is a frightful piece of activity to 
a by-stander ; but the youths on the mountains of 
Ireland make nothing of it : they are as expert at 
this work as the TenerifFe men: — from them I 
learned it ; and made Ralph so perfect in the 
action, while he travelled with me, that he could 
go from rock to rock like a bird. 

When we came to the ground, I sent my man 
before me to the house, with my humble service 
to the master of it, and to let him know, that I 
had travelled through the inside of one of the 
high mountains that surrounded his house, and, 
on coming out of the top of it, had made the pre- 
cipice next him my road to the valley he lived in ; 
that I knew not which way to turn next, in order 
to go to Cumberland, and begged leave to dine 
with him, and receive his information. This 
strange message, delivered by Ralph with much 
comic gravity, that gentleman could not tell what 
to make of ; as I had ordered my young man not 
to explain himself, but still say, that we had tra- 
velled the inside of the mountain, and came 
down the precipice. This was so surprising a 
thing to the gentleman and his daughter, that 
they walked out with some impatience to see this 
extraordinary traveller, and expressed no little 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 121 

amazement when they came near me. After a 
salute, Mr. Harcourt, for that was his name, told 
me he did not understand what my servant had 
said to him ; nor could he comprehend how I ar- 
rived in this valley, as there was but one passage 
into it at the front of his house ; and my being 
on foot too, increased the wonder of my appear- 
ing in the place : but, whatever way I came, I 
was welcome to his house, and he would shew me 
the way in. 

" My arrival here, Sir/' I replied, "is, to be sure, 
very strange, and would be almost incredible to 
hear told by another person, of one that journeyed 
two hundred and twenty-nine yards deep, to the 
foundation of this alp, on the other side of it, 
then ascended a hollow i way till he got out at the 
top, and came down a high and frightful preci- 
pice to the vale below : but here I am, a proof of 
the fact. I will explain how it was done ;" — and 
began to relate every particular at large. 

" But tell me, Sir," Miss Harcourt said, " if 
you please, why did you not return the way you 
came ; since the other side of the mountain is im- 
possible to descend, as you inform us, on account 
of its being a perpendicular steep ; and that you 
must have hazarded your life a thousand times, in 
coming down the way you did with the pole ? I 

G 



122 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

tremble as I look at the place and only with Fan- 
cy's eye see you on the descent. Beside, the 
gentlemen you left on the other side of the hill 
will conclude you are lost, and be very unhappy 
on account of you." 

" My reason, Madam/' I said, " for coming 
down this very dangerous way, was, because I 
thought it, with all its perils, much safer than the 
inside road I had come. My activity, I had rea- 
son to think, was superior to the difficulties of 
the outward way, and if I should fall, it would be 
in the light of heaven, with a human habitation 
in view, that might afford me some relief, if I only 
broke my bones; but, if in descending the very 
steep and horrible caverns of the hill, which with 
the greatest difficulty I climbed up, I should hap- 
pen to get a fall, as in all human probability I might, 
and break a limb in these most dismal cavities 
of eternal night, I must have perished in the most 
miserable manner, without a possibility of obtain- 
ing any relief. Nor is this all, Madam. The thing 
that brought me here among the mountains of 
Richmondshire, was to find a gentleman of my 
acquaintance; and when I saw your house from 
the top of the mountain, I did not know but it 
might be his. I fancied it was, as the situa- 
tion answered my friend's description of the spot 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 123 

he lived on. And if it had been his, Madam, it 
would have put an end to all my toils ; for I am 
a wanderer upon the face of the earth, through 
the cruelty of a mother-in-law, and the unrea- 
sonableness of a rich father, who has forsaken 
me for no just cause/' 

This history of a forlorn seemed stranger to 
the young lady and her father than even the ac- 
count of my journey through the inside of a 
mountain, and down a precipice that a goat would 
scarcely venture. They were both very greatly 
amazed at my relation, and Mr. Harcourt was 
just going to ask me some questions, when one 
of his servants came to inform him that dinner 
was ready, and by this put an end to our conver- 
sation. The master of the house brought me 
into a fine room, and I saw on the table an ele- 
gant dinner, and several men servants attending. 
Miss Harcourt sat at the head of the table, and 
at her right hand two young ladies, very hand- 
some, whom I shall have occasion to mention 
hereafter in this journal; two ladies more were on 
the other side of her, pretty women, but no beau- 
ties y and next them sat three gentlemen, sensi- 
ble, well-behaved men ; one of them a master 
of music, the other a master of languages, and 
the third an eminent painter ; who were kept in 
g 2 



124 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

the house on large salaries, to teach the young 
lady these accomplishments. Mr. Harcourt placed 
me by himself, and was extremely civil. He 
and his daughter took great care of me, and 
treated me as if I had been a man of distinction, 
rather than the poor pilgrim they saw me, with 
my staff in my hand. The young lady talked to 
me in a very pleasant manner; and as I saw the 
whole company were inclined to be very cheerful, 
I contributed as much as I could to promote 
good-humour, and increase the festivity of the 
table. 

At this delightful spot I stayed a week, and 
passed it in a most happy way. Mr. Harcourt 
was fond of me, and did every thing in his power 
to render the place agreeable. His lovely daugh- 
ter was not only as civil as it was possible to be, 
but did me the honour to commence a friendship 
with me, which lasted from that time till death 
destroyed the golden thread that linked it. 

Miss Harcourt, at the time I am speaking of, 
was in the one and twentieth year of her age, and 
had all the qualities that constitute a beauty : she 
was tall and graceful, and in every action, and her 
whole behaviour, to the last degree charming : her 
eyes were fine, and had a sparkling brightness as 
great as could appear from the refraction of dia- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 125 

monds : her hair was as the polished jet, deep 
and glossy ; and yet her complexion fresh as the 
glories of the spring, and her lips like a beauti- 
ful flower. 

This young lady was a foundress of a religious 
house of Protestant recluses; but this part of her 
history is so well known, that it would be folly 
for me to detail it in this place. 



126 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER IX. 



Hills peep o'er hills, and alps on alps arise* 



1 h e twenty-fifth day of June, I took my leave 
of Miss Harcourt and her father, and the rest of 
the good company, and, on horses I borrowed, we 
returned to the philosophers at Ulubrse. The road 
was nineteen miles round, and most terrible, great 
part of it being deep and swampy, with holes up 
to the horses' shoulders in some places ; and for 
several miles we were obliged to ride on the sides 
of very steep and craggy mountains, in a path so 
very narrow that we risked life, and passed in 
terror ; a wrong step would have been destruction 
beyond recovery. It was likewise no small per- 
plexity to find, that I was going back again, the 
course being south and south-west; and that there 
was no other way of journeying from Mr. Har- 
court's to Ulubra3, but through the pass I first 
travelled from Westmoreland, unless I rode from 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 127 

Mr. Harcourt's into Cumberland, and then round 
through Bishoprick to the valley the gentlemen 
lived in. On, then, I went, at all hazards, and in a 
tedious manner was forced to creep the way : but, 
to make some amends, the prospects from the 
hills were fine. Groups of crests of mountains 
appeared here and there, like large cities with 
towers and old gothic edifices, and from caverns 
in their sides torrents of water streamed out, and 
fell in various courses to the most delightful vales 
below. In some of the vast hills there were open- 
ings quite through, so as to see the sun at the 
end of three or four thousand yards ; and in many 
of them were sloping caverns, very wonderful to 
behold. 

I found in one of them, near the top of a very 
high mountain, a descent like steps of stairs, 
that w r as in breadth and height like the aile of a 
church. The descent was four hundred and seven- 
ty-nine yards almost in a straight line, and opened 
in a view of meadows, scattered trees, and streams, 
that were enchantingly fine. There appeared to 
be about four and twenty acres of fine land, quite 
surrounded with the most frightful precipices in 
the world; and in the centre of it a neat and pretty 
little country-house on an easy rising ground. I 
could discover with my long glass a young and 



128 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

handsome woman sitting at the door, engaged in 
needle-work of some kind ; and on the margin of 
a brook hard by, another charmer stood, angling 
for fish of some sort : a garden appeared near the 
mansion, that was well improved ; and in the fields 
were sheep and goats, horses and cows : cocks and 
hens, ducks and geese, were walking about the 
ground ; and I could perceive a college of bees. 
The whole formed a charming scene. 

Pleased with the view, and impatient to know 
who the two charmers were, I quite forgot the poor 
situation in which I left Tim, holding the horses 
at the mouth of the cavern, on the dangerous side 
of so high a hill, and proceeded immediately to 
the house, as soon as I had recovered myself from 
a fall. My foot slipped in the passage, about six 
yards from the day, and I came rolling out of the 
mountain in a violent and surprising manner. It 
was just mid-day when I came up to the ladies ; 
and as they did not see me till they chanced to 
turn round, they were so amazed at my appearing, 
they changed colour, and one of them shrieked 
aloud ; but this fright was soon over, on my as- 
s uring them that I was their most humble servant, 
and had against my will tumbled out of the hole 
that was at the bottom of that vast mountain be- 
fore them. This I explained, and protested that 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 129 

I had not a thought of paying them a visit, when 
curiosity led me into an opening near the top of 
the hill, as I was travelling on ; but that when 1 
did get through so wonderful a passage, and saw 
what was still more strange, two ladies in so wild 
and silent a place, I judged it my duty to pay 
my respects, and ask if they had any commands 
that I could execute in the world ? " This was po- 
lite," they said, and gave me thanks; but told me, 
they had no other favour to ask than that I would 
dine with them, and inform them how it happen- 
ed that I was obliged to travel over these scarcely 
passable mountains, where there was no society 
nor support to be had. " Beside, if in riding here 
you should receive a mischief, there is not a 
possibility of getting any relief. There must be 
something very extraordinary surely, that could 
cause you to journey over such frightful hills, and 
through the deep vales at the foot of them. 

" Ladies," I replied, " necessity and curiosity 
united are the springs that move me over these 
mountains, and enable me to bear the hardships I 
meet with in these ways. Forced from home by 
the cruelties of a step-mother, and forsaken by 
my father on her account, I am wandering about 
the precipices of Richmondshire in search of a 
gentleman, my friend ; to whose hospitable house 
g5 



130 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

and generous breast I should be welcome, if I 
could find out where he lives in some part of this 
remote and desolate region : and as my curiosity 
is more than ordinary, and I love to contemplate 
the works of Nature, which are very grand and 
astonishing in this part of the world, I have gone 
many a mile out of my way while I have been 
looking for several days past for my friend, and 
have ventured into places where very few, I believe, 
would go. It was this taste for natural knowledge 
that travelled me down the inside of the moun- 
tain I am just come out of. If I had not had it, I 
should never have known there was so delightful a 
little country here as what I now see : nor should I 
have had the honour and happiness of being known 
to you." 

" But tell me, Sir," one of these beauties said, 
" how have you lived for several days among 
these rocks and desert places^ as there are no inns 
in this country, nor a house, except this, that we 
know ? Are you the favourite of the fairies and 
genii — or does the wise man of the hills bring 
you every night in a cloud to his home ?" 

u It looks something like it, Madam/' I said, 
" and, to be sure, it must appear very strange ; but 
it is like other strange things : when the nature of 
them is known, they appear easy and plain. This 



THE SPIRIT OF BUiNCLE. 131 

country, I find, consists, for the most part, of 
ranges and groups of mountains horrible to be- 
hold, and of bogs, deep swampy narrow bottoms, 
and waters that fall and run innumerable ways ; 
but this is not always the case : like the charming 
plain I am now on, there are many flowery and 
delicious extensive pieces of ground, inclosed by 
vast surrounding hills — the finest intervals be- 
tween the mountains. The sweetest interchange 
between hill and valley, I believe, in all the world, 
is to be found in Richmondshire ; and in several of 
those delightful vales I discovered inhabitants, as 
in this place ; but the houses are so separated by 
fells scarcely passable, and torrents of w r ater, that 
those who live in the centre of one group of moun- 
tains know not any thing of agreeable inhabitants 
that may dwell on the other side of the hills in an 
adjacent vale. If there had been a fine spot at 
the bottom of the precipice I found the opening 
in, and people living there (as might have been the 
case), you, ladies, who live here, could have had no 
notion of them, as you knew nothing of a passage 
from the foot to the summit of yonder mountain, 
withinside of the vast hill, and, if you did, would 
never venture to visit that way ; and as there is 
not a pass in this chain of hills, to ride or walk 
through, to the other side of them, — but the way 



132 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE* 

out of this valley we are now in, as I judge from 
the trending of the mountains all around us, must 
be an opening into some part of Cumberland. For 
this reason Stainmore hills may have several fa- 
milies among them, though you have never heard 
of them; and I will now give you an account of 
some, who behaved in the most kind and generous 
manner to me." Here I began to relate some par- 
ticulars concerning my friend Price and his excel- 
lent wife ; the admirable Mrs. Burcot and Mrs. 
Fletcher; the philosophers who lived at Ulubree, 
to whom I was returning ; and the generous Mr. 
Harcourt and his excellent daughter, whom I left 
in the morning, and at whose house I arrived by 
travelling up the dark bowels of a tremendous 
mountain — as, on the contrary, I arrived at theirs 
by a descent through yonder frightful hill, till I 
came rolling out, by a fall within, in a very sur- 
prising way ; " a way that would have made you 
laugh, ladies, or, in a fright, cry out, if you had 
happened to be walking near the opening in the 
bottom of that hill, when, by a slip of my foot, in 
descending a few yards from the day, I tumbled 
over and over, not only down what remained of 
the dark steep within, but the high sloping bank 
that reaches From the outside of the opening to 
the first tlat part of the vale. There is nothing 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 133 

wonderful, then, in my living in this lone country 
for so many days. The only strange thing is, 
considering the waters and swamps, that I was 
not drowned ; or, on account of the precipices 
and descents I have been engaged on, that I did 
not break my neck." 

The ladies seemed greatly entertained with my 
histories, and especially with my tumbling out of 
the mountain into their vale. They laughed very 
heartily ; but told me, if they had happened to 
be sitting near the hole, in the bottom of that 
tremendous rocky mountain, as they sometimes 
did, and often wondering where the opening went 
to, and I had come rolling down upon them, 
they would have been frightened out of their 
senses ; for they must have thought it a very 
strange appearance. 

Here a footman came to let his mistress know 
that dinner was on the table, and we immediately 
went in to an excellent one. The ladies were very 
civil, and exerted a good-humour, to shew me, I 
suppose, that my arrival was not disagreeable to 
them, though I tumbled upon their habitation, 
like the genius of the caverns, from the hollows of 
the mountains. They talked in an easy, rational 
manner, and asked me many questions that shew- 
ed they were no strangers to books, or men, or 



134 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

things : but at last it came to pass, that the eldest 
of those ladies, who acted as mistress of the 
house, and seemed to be about one and twenty, 
desired to know the name of the gentleman I was 
looking for among these hills, and called my 
friend. " My reason, Sir, for asking is, that you 
answer so exactly in face and person to a descrip- 
tion of a gentleman I heard of not very long ago, 
that I imagine it may be in my power to direct 
you right/' 

" Madam," I replied, " the gentleman I am in 
search of is Charles Turner, who was my school- 
fellow, and my senior by a year in the university, 
which he left two years before I did, and went 
from Dublin to the North of England, to inherit 
a paternal estate on the decease of his father. 
There was an uncommon friendship between this 
excellent young man and me, and he made me 
promise him, in a solemn manner, to call upon 
him as soon as it was in my power; assuring me 
at the same time, that if, by any changes and 
chances in this lower hemisphere, I was ever 
brought into any perplexities, if he were alive, 
I should be welcome to him and what he had, 
and share in his happiness in this world, while I 
pleased. This is the man I want: a man, for his 
years, one of the wisest and best of the race. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 135 

His honest heart had no design in words. He 
ever spoke what he meant, and, therefore, I am 
sure he is my friend." 

To this the lady answered, " Sir, since Charles 
Turner is the man you want, your enquiry is at an 
end, for you are now at his house ; and I, who am 
his sister, bid you welcome to Skelsmore-vale in 
his name. He has now been a year and a half in 
Italy; and a little before he went, he gave me 
such a description of you, as enabled me to guess 
who you were after I had well observed you; and 
he added to his description a request, that if you 
should chance to call here, while I happened to 
be in the country, I would receive you as if you 
were himself; and when I removed, if I could 
not, or did not choose to stay longer in the coun- 
try, that I would make you an offer of the house, 
and give you up all the keys of it, to make use of 
it and his servants, and the best things the place 
affords, till his return; which is to be, he says, in 
less than a year. Now, Sir, in regard to my bro- 
ther and his friend, I not only offer you what he 
desired I should, but I will stay a month here 
longer than I intended ; for this lady (my cousin, 
Martha Jacquelot), and I, had determined to go 
to Scarborough next week, and from thence to 
London : — nor is this all : as I know I shall the 



136 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

more oblige my brother the civiller I am to you, I 
will, when the Scarborough season is over, if 
you choose to spend the winter here, come 
back to Skelsmore-vale, and stay till Mr. Tur- 
ner returns." 

This discourse astonished me to the last degree 
— to hear that I was at my friend Turner's house ; 
he abroad, and to be so for another year ; the 
possession of his seat offered me ; and his charm- 
ing sister so very civil and good, as to assure me 
she would return from the Spa and stay with me 
till her birother came home : these were things so 
unexpected and extraordinary, that I was for some 
time at a loss what to say. I paused for some 
minutes, with my eyes fastened on this beauty, and 
then said, " Miss Turner, the account you have 
given of your brother, and the information that 
I am now at his house, — his friendly offers to me 
by you, and your prodigious civility, in resolving 
to return from Scarborough, to stay with me here 
till your brother arrives, are things so strange, so 
uncommon, and exceedingly generous and kind, 
that I am quite amazed at what 1 hear, and want 
words to express my obligations, and the grate- 
ful sense I have of such favours. Accept my 
thanks, and be assured that while I live, I shall 
properly remember the civility and benevolence 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 137 

of this day ; and be ever ready, if occasion offers, 
and the fates shall put it in my power, to make 
a due return. Your offer, Madam, in particu- 
lar is so high an honour done me, and shews a 
spirit so humane, as I told you I was an unfortu- 
nate mortal, that I shall ever think of it with plea- 
sure, and mention it as a rare instance of female 
worth : but as to accepting these most kind offers, 
I cannot do it. Since Mr. Turner is from home, I 
will go and visit another friend I have in this coun- 
try, to whom I shall be welcome, I believe, till 
your brother returns. To live by myself here at 
my friend's expense, would not be right, nor 
agreeable to me : and as to confining you, 
Madam, in staying with me, I would not do it 
for the world. " " Sir," Miss Turner replied, " in 
respect of my staying here, it will be no confine- 
ment to me, I assure you. My heart is not set 
upon going to London. It was only want of com- 
pany made Miss Jacquelot and me think of it ; 
and if you will stay with us, we will not even go 
to Scarborough this season." This was goodness 
indeed : but against staying longer than two or 
three days, I had many good reasons that made it 
necessary for me to depart : beside the unreason- 
ableness of my being an expense to Mr. Turner 
in his absence, or confining his sister to the coun- 



138 THE SPIRIT OF BUJSCLE. 

try. There was Orton-lodge, where I had left 
O'Fin, my lad, at work, to which I could not 
avoid going again : and there was Miss Melmoth, 
on whom I had promised to wait, and did intend 
to ask her if she would give me her hand, as I 
liked her and her circumstances, and fancied she 
would live with me in any retreat I pleased to 
name ; which was a thing that would be most 
pleasing to my mind. It is true, if Charles 
Turner had come home, while I stayed at his house, 
it was possible I might have obtained his sister, 
who was a very great fortune : but this was an 
uncertainty, and in his absence I could not in 
honour make my addresses to her : if it should 
be against his mind, it would be acting a false 
part, while I was eating his bread : Miss Turner, 
to be sure, had fifty thousand pounds at her own 
disposal, and so far as I could judge of her mind, 
during the three days that I stayed with her at 
Skelsmore-vale, I had some reason to imagine 
her heart might be gained : but for a man worth 
nothing to do this, in her brother's house, with- 
out his leave, was a part I could not act, though 
by missing her I had been brought to beg my 
bread. Three days, then, only I could be pre- 
vailed on to stay, and the time indeed was hap- 
pily spent. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 139 

Miss Turner was good-humoured, sensible, and 
discreet, as one could wish a woman to be ; talked 
pleasantly upon common subjects, and was well 
acquainted with the three noblest branches of po- 
lite learning, antiquity, history, and geography. 
She likewise understood music, and sung, and 
played well on the small harpsichord. But her 
moral character was what shed the brightest 
lustre on her soul. Her thoughts and words were 
ever employed in promoting God's glory, her 
neighbour's benefit, and her own true welfare 5 
and her hand very often, in giving to the poor. 
One-third of her fine income she devoted to the 
miserable, and was in every respect so charitable, 
that she never indulged the least intemperance in 
speaking. The goodness of her heart was great 
indeed ; the integrity of her life was glorious. 
She was perfection, so far as it was possible for a 
mortal to be exempt from blame in life. An abso- 
lute exemption from faults cannot be the condi- 
tion of any one in this world : but, to the ladies 
I now speak, you may, like Miss Turner, be 
eminently good, if you will do your best to be 
perfect in such a kind and degree as human 
frailty does admit. 

Miss Jacquelot was by the head lower than 
Miss Turner, and her hair the very reverse of my 



140 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE, 

friend's sister, that is, black as the raven : but 
she had a most charming little person, and a mind 
adorned with the finest qualifications. Reason 
never lost the command in her, nor ceased to 
have an influence upon whatever she did. It se- 
cured her mind from being ever discomposed, 
and disengaged her life from the inconveniences 
which a disregard to reason exposes us to. By a 
management it dictated, she enjoyed perpetual 
innocence and peace. She never uttered a word 
that intrenched upon piety, infringed charity, or 
disturbed the happiness of any one; nor at any 
time shewed the least sign of a vain and light 
spirit : yet she had a sportfulness of wit and 
fancy that was delightful, when she could hand- 
somely and innocently use it, and loved to exert 
the sallies of wit, when they had no tendency to 
defile or discompose her mind, to wrong or harm 
the hearer, or her neighbour, or to violate any of 
the grand duties of piety, charity, justice, and so- 
briety. Every thing that reason made unfit to be 
expressed, in relation to these virtues, she always 
carefully avoided ; but otherwise, such things ex- 
cepted, would enliven and instruct by good sense 
in jocular expression, in a way the most charm- 
ing and pleasing. She was very wise, agreeable, 
and happy. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 141 

With these ladies I spent three days in Skels- 
more-vale; and the time we talked, walked, play- 
ed, and laughed away. Sometimes we rambled 
about the hills, and low adown the dales. Some- 
times we sat to serious ombre ; and often went to 
music by the falling streams. Miss Turner sung ; 
Miss Jacquelot played the violin : and on my Ger- 
man flute I breathed the softest airs. We were a 
happy three, and parted with regret on every side. 
Fain would they have had me stay, and Scarbo- 
rough and London should be thought of no more : 
but the reason of things was against it, and the 
28th day of June I took my leave. Through the 
mountain I had descended, I went up again to 
Tim and my horses; who were stabled in the 
mouth of the cavern above, and had got proven- 
der from the vale below. 

The sun was rising when we mounted our 
horses, and we rode over the brows of many high 
hills, till we descended to a narrow vale, which 
trended due west, for an hour, and brought us to 
the foot of another high mountain. This we as- 
cended with the horses as far as it was possible to 
bring them, and from thence I climbed up to the 
top, by a steep craggy way, near two hundred 
yards. This was very difficult and dangerous, but 
I had an enchanting prospect, when I gained the 



142 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

summit of the hill. A valley nearly a mile in 
breadth appeared between the opposite mountains 
and that on which I stood ; and a river was run- 
ning through it, that spread sometimes into little 
lakes, and sometimes fell headlong from the rocks 
in sounding cascades. The finest meadows, and 
little thickets, bordered those waters on every 
side, and beyond them the vast hills had a fine 
effect in the view : some were covered with fo- 
rest, and some with precipitating streams. I 
was charmed with this assemblage of the beauties 
of nature. It is a more delightful landscape 
than art has been able to form in the finest gar- 
dens of the world. 

The descent was easy to this beautiful vale ; 
and after I had feasted my eyes with the prospect 
of the place, I went down to see who lived in a 
house, covered with creeping greens, that stood 
by a sonorous waterfall. Some wise one, perhaps, 
I said, who scorns the character of the libertine, 
or the sot, and to the pursuits of avarice and am- 
bition leaves the world, to enjoy in this tine re- 
treat the true happiness of man : by embracing 
that wisdom which is from above, and aspiring to 
an equality with saints and angels : — happy man ! 
if such a man be here. Or, it may be, some hap- 
py pair possess this charming spot of earth, and 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 143 

in discharging all the duties of the matrimonial 
relation, enjoy that fulness of satisfactions and 
felicities which the divine institution was design- 
ed to produce: — happy pair indeed! if such a 
pair be here. 

But when I came near the mansion, no human 
creature could I see, nor, for some time, could I 
find an entrance any way. The gate of the gar- 
den in which the house stood was fast, and so 
was every window and door ; but as the gardens 
were in fine order, and full of fruits, vegetables, 
and flowers, I knew it must be an inhabited 
place, though its people were from home. With 
my pole therefore I leaped a deep moat, w T hich 
surrounded the garden, and for half an hour con- 
tinued walking about it : pulling some things, and 
looking at others, in hopes that some one might 
be seen : no soul, however, appeared, and I was 
going to return to my horses, when, by accident, 
I came to a descent of stairs, that was planted 
round w T ith shade of laurel, ever-green, and 
branching palm. Down I went immediately. I 
walked though a long arched passage, in which 
two lamps were burning, and at the end of it 
came to an open door, that admitted me into an 
entry which led to a flight of stairs. Should I 
go any farther ? w 7 as the question. If any one 



144 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

within, I might greatly offend : and if it was the 
habitation of rogues, I might find myself in a 
pound. What shall I do then? Go on, says Cu- 
riosity, and bravely finish the adventure. 

Softly then I ascended, listening, by the way, 
if I could hear any voice; and proceeded upwards 
to the first floor. A door was there open, and on 
my tiptoes I went to look in : but all I could see 
was a room well furnished ; and through it I pass- 
ed to another, which was likewise full of fine 
things, and had a door unlocked, that opened 
into a large library. The books were all bound 
in vellum, in an extraordinary manner, the collec- 
tion valuable, and most judiciously ordered. Ma- 
thematical instruments of all sorts were on a table, 
and every thing looked as belonging to a scholar 
and man of fortune. Great was my amazement, 
as I saw no living creature. I knew not what to 
think of all these things : nor did my astonish- 
ment diminish, when I went from the library into 
two very handsome bedchambers, and saw in one 
of them the apparel of a woman, in the other the 
dress of a man. 

Musing on these matters, and looking over the 
books, I continued nearly an hour, when I turned 
round to depart, and saw at the door of the library 
I was in, a gentleman, and two young ladies in 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 145 

riding-dresses, who seemed more than amazed at 
the sight of me. The man's face I knew very well, 
and soon remembered he was one of the company 
that came over with me from Ireland in the Skin- 
ner and Jenkins, and a person I had thought a 
very odd man ; for he never stirred out of his 
birth all the while he was on board, nor spoke a 
syllable to any one except myself, and that only 
for a couple of hours after we landed ; when he 
was pleased to single me out, and requested we 
might dine together; to which I said, With plea- 
sure, Sir, and he came with Miss Melmoth and me 
to our inn. With us he sat for the time I have 
said, and talked like a man of sense and virtue. 
He was but three or four years older than I was, 
and yet so very grave, that in respect of temper 
he was fit for the bench. He told me, he lived in 
too remote a place, ever to expect to see me in the 
country ; but he had a house in London, where 
he was every winter, if not hindered by sickness, 
and to a part of it I should be welcome, if it was 
agreeable to me to improve our acquaintance. 
Many other civil things he said, and shewed a 
regard for me that I little expected, and could 
not but wonder at. All this made me as well 
known to him as he was remembered by me ; but 
he looked as it were astonished at the sight of 

H 



146 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

me, and for some time the gentleman was not 
able to speak, or come forward ; but at last, mov- 
ing towards me, he said, " By what strange 
chance have I the favour of seeing you here ? In- 
form me, I beseech you, in the name of friend- 
ship, what surprising accident has thrown you on 
this solitude, without horse or servant — and how 
did you get over the broad moat of water, as the 
two garden-gates were locked ?" 

" Mr. Berrisfort," I answered, " you may well 
wonder at seeing me in this remote and silent 
part of the world, and especially at my being in 
your study, without either horse or attendant in 
waiting, that you could find, on coming home ; 
but the thing was all natural, in the common 
course of events, as you shall hear. 

" Three weeks after you left me at Whitehaven, 
I set out from that place for Brugh under Stain- 
more, and went from thence up the northern 
mountains, in search of a gentleman I had some 
business with, who lives but a few miles beyond 
you ; and on my return from his house, as the road 
lay very high on the side of yonder vast hill, I 
quitted my horse out of curiosity, to climb up to 
the top of the mountain, and see what kind of 
country lay on the other side of this long range 
of high hills. It was with great difficulty I got 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 147 

up to the pike, and few, perhaps, but myself, 
would have attempted it. I was rewarded, how- 
ever, by the fine prospect, and seeing the descent 
on this side easy, and a house and large gardens 
before me, I could not refrain from going down 
to the bottom. I marched on to take a view of 
the mansion; I leaped the moat with this pole, 
and, after I had wandered about the ground, by 
accident came to the shady enclosure, in which I 
found the descending stairs from the garden ; and 
seeing the lamps burning in the passage, could 
not avoid going down, and proceeded till I ar- 
rived at this fine library." 

Mr. Berrisfort replied : — " Sir, I am glad there 
was any thing in the force and operation of casu- 
alties, that could bring you to my house, and I 
assure you, upon my word, that you are most 
heartily welcome. As I lay in my cabin on ship- 
board, I conceived a great regard for you, on ac- 
count of many things I heard you say. I assure 
you, I am most heartily glad to see you, and I shall 
take it as a great favour if you will pass the sum- 
mer with me in this wild country place. Every 
thing shall be made as agreeable as possible, and, 
exclusive of this closet of books, which you shall 
possess while you stay here, we will hunt, and 
shoot, and enjoy all the pleasures of the field : 
h2 



148 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

but in the mean time, as it is now ten o'clock, 
we ought to think of breakfast ;" and he desired 
his sister, a most charming creature, to call for 
it immediately, and I soon saw several servants 
bring in every thing that was elegant and excel- 
lent. He told me I need be under no uneasiness 
about my mare and horses, for there was a steep 
narrow way for them to come down to his stables, 
about half a mile from the place I left them, and 
he would immediately send one of his servants to 
bring them. 

This was extremely civil and affectionate; and 
I told Mr. Berrisfort, that I was under great obli- 
gations to him for his goodness, which I should 
ever have an extreme sense of, but I was obliged 
to go on upon business: a few days, however, I 
would enjoy the happiness he offered me ; — and 
we passed them in a very delightful manner. 

Early in the morning we went out with the 
hounds, and for half-a-dozen hours had the dogs 
in full cry before us. We had hawks and pointers 
in the afternoon, and enjoyed abroad all the 
sports of the field. Within, when our labours 
were over, we had the most elegant dinners and 
suppers; and the conversation was excellent af- 
ter the repasts. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 149 

Mr. Berrisfort was a man ofletters and breed- 
mo; ; and the ladies had fine sense, and were no 
strangers to the best English books. They un- 
derstood no other language than the English; but 
the choicest authors of every kind that our country 
has produced, they had read with great care. The 
master of Yeoverin Green was a learned, worthy, 
polite man, free in discourse (if he knew his com- 
pany, and liked them, but otherwise quite mute), 
and he was instructive in every thing he said. His 
sister and cousin were very good ; discreet in their 
behaviour, temperate in their discourse, and easy 
in their manner. They talked, without vanity, of 
the best things ; and what they did say, they ex- 
pressed in a most agreeable way. There was no 
being dull with such people, in such a place. I 
have seen very few young ladies in my time that 
I liked better than those girls. They both charm- 
ed me with their persons, their faces, their good 
manners, and their chat ; but I could not enough 
admire Miss Berrisfort for one particular, in which 
she not only excelled Miss Fox, but all the women 
that I have ever seen. This was in hunting. In 
the field, she seemed the silver-shafted queen. 

Mr. Berrisfort and Miss Fox followed the dogs 
with caution, and never attempted any thing that 



150 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

could hazard their necks or their bones ; but the 
charming Juliet Berrisfort had so violent a pas- 
sion for the diversion of the field, that she was 
seized with a kind of enthusiasm when she heard 
the cry of the hounds, and, as if she had been the 
goddess of the silver bow, or one of her immortal y 
train, went on without a thought of her having 
brittle limbs. She leaped every thing to keep in 
with the dogs ; five-bar gates ; the most dangerous 
ditches and pales ; and drove full-speed down the 
steepest hills, if it was possible for a horse to 
keep his feet on them. She frightened me the 
first morning I was out with her. She made my 
heart bounce a thousand times. I expected every 
now and then that she would break her neck; 
that neck where lilies grew. I was reckoned a 
very desperate rider by all that knew me, and 
yet, with this young lady, I paused several times 
at some leaps, when she did not hesitate at all. 
Over she went, in a moment, without thinking of 
the perils in her way ; and then, if I broke my 
neck, I could not but pursue. 

When glory call'd, and beauty led the way, 
What man could think of life, and poorly stay? 

It was not in my complexion to stay, and by 
that means I got a terrible fall the second day ; 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 151 

whether by my own fault, or my horse's, I cannot 
tell: but as no bone was broken, and I had re- 
ceived no other mischief than a black eye, a 
bruise in my side, and a torn face, I was soon on 
my mare again, and by Miss Berrisfort's side. 
She laughed immoderately at me, while the dogs 
were at fault, as my bones were safe, and advised 
me, with a humorous tenderness, to ride with her 
brother and Miss Fox. 

It was not, however, very long before I had 
more satisfaction than I desired; for in half an 
hour's time, we came to some pales, which the 
stag went over, and I leaped first ; but Miss 
Berrisfort's horse, though one of the best in 
the world, unfortunately struck, and cleared 
them in such a manner, that the lovely Juliet 
came over his head. She fell very safely in high 
grass, where I waited for her, for fear of an ac- 
cident of any kind, and did not receive the least 
hurt; but in the violence of the motion, and the 
way she came down, the curtain was thrown on 
her breast, and she lay for some moments stunned 
upon the ground. In a minute, however, I 
snatched her up, and set her on her feet. She 
came to herself immediately, and thanked me 
for my care of her ; but was vexed to the heart 
at what had happened. She requested I would 



152 THE SPTRIT OF BUNCLE. 

not mention the thing to her brother, or Miss Fox r 
and hoped I would be so generous as not to speak 
of it to any one. — " Miss Berrisfort," I said, " it 
is not in my soul to extract a mirth from the 
bad fortune of any one ; and much less is it in my 
power to ridicule, or laugh at a woman of dis- 
tinction, for an accident like this. You may be- 
lieve me, when I promise you, upon my word, 
and swear it by every sacred thing, that I will 
not so much as hint it to any mortal while you re- 
main in this world." This gave her some relief, 
and by her foot in my hands, I lifted her into her 
saddle again. 

Two benefits were from this mischance derived. 
One was, that for the future this lady hunted with 
a little more caution, and did not take the leaps 
she was wont to do : — the other, that it gained 
me her heart (though I did not know it for many 
months), and thereby secured for me the great- 
est happiness, against a day of distress. From 
the most trivial things the most important often 
spring: but I proceed. 

Vexatious as the fall was to this young lady, 
it was I, however, that had all the pain, by the 
mischief I received when my horse threw me. 
My eye was in a sad black way, my side troubled 



THE SPIRIT OF BU^CLE. 153 

me, and the skin was off half my face : yet 
I did not much mind it, as the diversion was 
good, and immediately after the death of the 
stag, we hastened back to an excellent dinner, 
and some flasks of old generous wine. 



h 5 



154 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 



CHAPTER X. 



Friendship, to thee I touch the string ; 
From thy blest source what pleasures spring- 
To cheer each passing day ! 



The third of July, I left Yeoverin Green, and 
set out again for Ulubrse, to get my horses and 
portmanteau. After several hours' walk, we came 
to a sweet pretty cottage on the margin of a 
river. I went up to the house to ask my way, and 
found at the door three men, the eldest of whom 
seemed to be about thirty years old. They asked 
me very civilly to walk in, and seemed to wonder 
not a little at seeing me and my man, in such a 
place, with our poles in our hands. 

These men were three brothers, and Roman 
catholics. Two of them were gentlemen-farmers, 
who lived together, and jointly managed the 
country business. The eldest was a Franciscan 
friar, who came to visit them. Their good man- 
ners, in their plain dress, surprised me : and their 



THE SPIRIT OF JBUNCLE. 155 

benevolence made me wonder a great deal more. 
Their maid laid a clean cloth in a minute, and 
brought some cold roast beef, good bread, and 
fine ale. They bade me heartily welcome many 
times, and were so frank and generous, so cheer- 
ful and gay, especially the eldest of the farmers, 
who sang several good songs over a bowl of 
punch after dinner, that I could not think of 
leaving them immediately, if I had known my 
road, and was easily prevailed on to stay several 
days. A friendship commenced immediately be- 
tween the eldest Fleming and me, and there was 
not one cold or cross minute in it for the few 
years that he lived. He loved me as his brother 
from the first day he saw me ; and I had so great 
a regard for him, that with a sorrow I cannot help, 
I think of his death to this day. How to account 
for such sudden passions I know not. The thing 
has always appeared to me very strange. Mr. 
Fleming was certainly a man of a bright and 
very extraordinary understanding, though no 
more than a farmer in this world, had a most 
happy temper, a generosity too great for his for- 
tune, and was for ever cheerful and free; but 
these things, however pleasing, could not be the 
cause of the sudden and lasting friendship be- 
tween us, as I have been acquainted with men of 



156 THE SPIRIT OF EtJNCLE, 

fortune, who equalled him in these respects, and 
yet they never struck me more than for the pre- 
sent time. Whatever might be the cause, the fact 
is certain. No two men ever liked one another 
more than we did from the first hour of our 
acquaintance; and as I had the happiness of 
converting him to the Protestant religion, it is 
possible, that might cement a friendship, which a 
sameness of disposition had helped to produce. 
This is all I can say as to the reason of this mat- 
ter. In respect of the thing, it was of the great- 
est service to me. My new-acquired friend 
assisted me to the utmost of his power, in the 
accomplishment of my designs, in that part of 
the world I then was. I had his head, his hand, 
and his house at my service, and by them I was 
enabled to give a roundness to a system, that 
was too happy to last long. By this good man's 
guidance I arrived at Ulubrse the seventh day 
of July, being the seventeenth day from the 
morning I left the philosophers. The gentlemen 
were startled at the sight of me, as they con- 
cluded I had perished, and had, as they assured 
me, mourned my sad fate ; they were impatient 
to hear my adventure. 

I promised to tell my story as soon as we had 
dined, as the servants were then bringing the 



THE SPIRIT OF BCNCLE. 157 

dishes in ; and accordingly, when we had done, I 
gave them a relation in detail. They were 
greatly pleased with my history, and much more 
to have me returned to them in safety again. If 
they had not seen me, they said, they could not 
believe the thing ; and they would order the whole 
account to be entered in the journal of their so- 
ciety, as the most extraordinary case they had 
ever known, or, perhaps, should ever hear related 
again. Their secretary, as directed, wrote it down 
in the big book of transactions, and it remains in 
their records to this day. In short, reader, these 
worthy men were so greatly rejoiced at my being 
alive, when they thought me for certain among 
the dead, that they put the bottle round in a festal 
manner after dinner. We drank and laughed till 
it was midnight. 

The eighth day of July, I took my leave of the 
gentlemen at Ulubrse, and proceeded to the 
East-riding of Yorkshire, to look for Miss Mel- 
moth. Fleming came with me as far as Eggles- 
ton to shew me the passes between the hills, and 
the best ways over the mountains. Many vast 
high ones we crossed, and travelled through very 
wonderful glens. Several scenes were as charm- 
ing as any I had before seen, and the low ways as 
bad ; but he knew all the roads and cross turn- 



158 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

ings perfectly well, and shortened the journey a 
great many miles. I had told him the business 
I was going on, and he requested, if I succeeded, 
that I would bring Miss Melmoth to his house, 
that his brother might marry us ; and as to Orton 
Lodge, which I had described to him, and told 
him where to find, for he had no notion of it, nor 
had ever been among the fells of Westmoreland, 
as he thought that country impassable, he pro- 
mised me he would go there himself, and bring 
with him two labouring men to assist my lad in 
putting the garden and house in the best condi- 
tion they were capable of receiving; that he would 
bring there seeds, and trees, such as the season 
allowed, and do every thing in his power to ren- 
der the place convenient and pleasing : he would 
likewise sell me a couple of his cows, a few sheep, 
and other things, which I should find before me 
at the lodge, and let me have one of his maids 
for my servant in the house. This was good in- 
deed. I could not wish for more. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUXCLE. 159 



CHAPTER XL 



Thus did the stars preside with friendly rays, 
And bid me hail at last the happy days, 
When sheltered within this wild retreat, 
Above the scorn, below the rage of fate ,• 
Blest in a wife, a friend, and books, alone ; 
To this mad world, and all its plagues unknown ; 
The smooth-paced hours did sweetly pass away, 
And happy nights still closed each happy day. 

1 he ninth of July, early in the morning, Fleming 
and I parted, and I proceeded, as fast and as well 
as I could, to the appointed station ; but when I 
came to Mrs. Asgill's door, the second day in the 
evening, July 10th, and asked for Miss Melmoth, 
an old man, the only person in the house, told me 
Mrs. Asgill had been dead nearly a month, and 
Miss Melmoth went from thence immediately 
after the funeral of her friend : that she had left 
a letter with him for a gentleman that was to call 
upon her ; but that letter by an accident was de- 
s troyed, and where the lady then was, he could 



160 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

not so much as guess : he farther told me, that 
Miss Melmoth had sold the goods of the house, 
and the stock, bequeathed to her by her deceased 
friend, to the gentleman who inherited the late 
Mrs. AsgilFs jointure, and she would return no 
more to the place. This was news to me : it 
struck me to the soul. Doleful tidings, how ye 
wound ! What to do I could not tell ; but, as I 
rode to the next town, determined at. last to try 
if I could hear of her at York. To that city I 
went the next day, asked at the inns, walked the 
walls, and went to the assembly-room. My 
inquiries were all in vain. One gentleman only 
did I see who was acquainted with her, and he 
knew nothing of her present abode. From York, 
then, I proceeded the next morning to search 
other towns, and left no place unexamined where 
I could think she might be. Three weeks were 
spent in this manner, without hearing a syllable 
of her, and then I thought it was best to return 
to my lodge; for what signified my five hundred 
pounds to appear with in the world ? it must be 
soon gone, as I had not the least notion of any 
kind of trade ; and if I joined any one that was 
in business, I might be mistaken in the man, and 
so cheated and undone. Then what could I do 
but carry a brown musket, or go a hand before 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 161 

the mast? for, as to being an usher to a school 
for bread, were I reduced to want, that was the 
life of all lives that I most abhorred. Nothing 
else then had I for itbut my silent mountain-lodge, 
which kind Providence had brought me to. There 
I resolved to go, and in that charming solitude 
peruse alone the book of Nature, till I could hear 
of some better way of spending my time. 

To this purpose then I went, the 2nd of August, 
1725, to Barnard Castle in Durham, and intend- 
ed the next morning to set out for Mr. Fleming's 
house in Stainmore, to go from thence to my 
cottage on the side of a Westmoreland fell : but 
after I had rode a mile of the road to Eggleston, 
where I purposed to dine, I called out to my lad 
to stop. A sudden thought came into my head, 
to ride first to Greta-bridge, as I was so near it, 
to see some fine Roman monuments, that are in 
the neighbourhood of that village. To that place I 
went then, and passed the day in looking over all 
the antiquities and curiosities I could find there. 
I returned in the evening to my inn ; and while a 
fowl was roasting for my supper, stood leaning 
against the house-door, looking at several travel- 
lers that went by, and some that came to rest 
where I did that night. Many figures I beheld, 
but none I knew. At last there came riding up 



162 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

to the inn, full speed, a young lady on a most 
beautiful beast, and after her, two horses more ; 
on one of which was her man-servant, and on the 
other her maid. She had a black mask on her 
face, to save her from the dust and sun, and when 
she alighted from her horse, she did not take it off, 
but went with it on into the house, after she had 
looked for a moment or two at me. This I thought 
very strange. A charmer, to be sure, I said. 
With what life and grace did she come to the 
ground! but how cruel the dear little rogue is, 
to conceal the wonders of its face ! " Landlord/' I 
said to the master of the house, who was coming 
up to me, u can you contrive a way to get me one 
view of that masked lady, and I will give you a 
pint." — "Sir,"minehostreplied,"thatIcandovery 
easily, for this lady has sent me to let you know 
she wants to speak with you." — With me ! Trans- 
porting news! I flew to her apartment, and there 
saw that dear irresistible creature, who had added 
to the inferior charms of face and person that 
wisdom and goodness of conduct and conversation 
which are the true glory of woman. It was Miss 
Melmoth. She had heard I had been at Mrs. 
Asgill's house, and did not get the letter she left 
for me ; which made her think of riding towards 
Greta-bridge, on an imagination she might find me 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE, 163 

thereabout, as she remembered to have heard 
me say, in one of our conversations, that I intend- 
ed, as soon as I could, to look at the Roman an- 
tiquities in this place : but she had very little 
hopes ( she added) of succeeding in her inquiry ; 
as little as I had of her riding up to the inn; and 
this made the meeting the more pleasing. It did 
enhance the pleasure indeed. It turned the amour 
into an adventure, and gave it that delicious 
flavour, which the moderns read of in the histories 
of past times, but rarely experience in these days. 
The reader that has been engaged in such a 
wonderful and tender scene, can only form an 
idea of a felicity, which words would in vain at- 
tempt to express. 

As soon as we had supped, I recited my adven- 
tures since we parted, and gave Miss Melmoth a 
flowery description of O-r-ton Lodge ; then asked, 
if she would bless me with her hand, and sit down 
with me in my pretty solitude. 

6( Sir," Miss Melmoth replied, " if you required 
it, I would go with you to Hudson's Bay, had I 
a hundred thousand, instead of four thousand 
pounds, which is my fortune, exclusive of some 
personal estate, which my friend Mrs. Asgill by 
her will bequeathed me ; and the whole is at your 
service, to dispose of as you please." 



164 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

" Give me thy hand then," I said, "thou generous 
girl. You make me the happiest of men, and in 
return I swear by that one, supreme, tremendous 
Power I adore, that I will be true and faithful to 
thee, till death dissolves the sacred obligation. 
Twice do I swear, by the great Spirit, in whose 
dread presence I am, with your right hand now 
locked fast in mine, across this table, and call on 
him as witness to our vows, that neither time nor 
chance, nor aught but death's inevitable hand, 
shall e'er divide our loves." Miss Melmoth said, 
"Amen." 

Early the next morning, the third of August, we 
rode to Eggleston, where we breakfasted, and pro- 
ceeded from thence to Mr. Fleming's house, up 
Stainmore hills, where we arrived at nine o'clock 
in the evening, and had beds there that night. 
My friend Tom and his brother Jemmy were gone 
to a fair; but the eldest brother, the Franciscan 
friar, was at home, and entertained us very well. 
We took him with us very early the next day to 
Orton Lodge, which we reached at eight in the 
evening, and found the house and garden in good 
order. My friend Mr. Fleming had done every 
thing possible, to make it a convenient and com- 
fortable place. He had made near the lodge two 
little rooms for servants, and had put a bed in the 



THE SPIEIT OF BUNCLE. 165 

green-house in the garden for a friend. He had 
likewise sent there a couple of cows, some sheep 
and lambs, ducks and geese, cocks and hens, and 
every necessary he thought we might want there. 
Good Tom Fleming ! there never was a better 
man, or a kinder friend, to his small power. 

We had likewise fish in abundance, in the 
waters at the foot of our hills, and goats and kids, 
and plenty of wild fowl. Few things were want- 
ing that reason could desire ; and for us, who 
thought that happiness, that is, pleasure and re- 
pose, did not precariously depend on what others 
think, or say, or do, but solidly consisted in what 
we ourselves did feel, and relish, and enjoy, there 
could not be a more delightful station discovered 
on this globe. 

To conclude, the best things that Orton Lodge 
afforded, were ordered to the fire, and before they 
were brought on the table, the man of God threw 
the fillet or ribband over our hands, according 
to the Romish manner, and pronounced the nup- 
tial benediction on us. Husband and wife we 
sat down to supper. 



166 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER XII. 



Go, happy pair ! in strictest bonds ally'd, 
Whom Nature joins, and can alone divide : 
'Tis thus their riches and their joys increase, 
Their cares grow lighter, and they smile in peace. 

Iwo years, almost, this fine scene lasted, and 
during that period the business and diversions of 
our lone retreat appeared so various and pleasing, 
that it was not possible to think a hundred years, 
so spent, in the least degree dull and tedious. 
Exclusive of books and gardening, and the im- 
provement of the farm, we had, during the fine 
season, a thousand charming amusements on the 
mountains, and in the glens and valleys of that 
sweet silent place. Whole days we would spend 
in fishing, and dine in some cool grot by the 
water-side, or under an aged tree, on the margin 
of some beautiful stream. 

Another of our amusements, during the sum- 
mer's bright day, was the pointer and gun, for 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 167 

the black cock, the moor cock, and the cock of 
the wood, which are in great plenty on those vast 
hills. Charlotte was fond of this sport, and 
would walk with me for hours, to see me knock 
down the game ; till, late in the evening, we would 
wander over the fells, and then return to our clean, 
peaceful, little house, to sup as elegantly on our 
birds as the great could do, and with a har- 
mony and unmixed joy they are for ever strangers 
to. After supper, over some little nectared bowl, 
we sweetly chatted, till it was bed-time; or I 
played on my flute, and Charlotte divinely sung. 
It was a happy life ; all the riches and honours 
of the world cannot produce such scenes of bliss 
as we experienced in a cottage in the wilds of 
Westmoreland. Even the winter, which is ever 
boisterous and extremely cold in that part of the 
world, was no severity to us. As we had most 
excellent provisions of every kind in abundance, 
and plenty of firing from the ancient woods which 
cover many of those high hills ; and two men 
servants, and two maids, to do whatever tended 
to being and to well being, to supply our wants, 
and to complete our happiness : this softened the 
hard rough scene, and the roaring waters, and the 
howling winds, appeared pleasing sounds. In 
short, every season, and all our hours, were quite 



168 THE SPIRIT OF BUN CLE. 

charming, and full of delight. Good Tom Flem- 
ing, our friend, did likewise enhance our felicity 
by coming once or twice a week to see us, and 
staying sometimes two or three days. In the 
summer time we also went now and then to 
visit him ; and if one was inclined to melancholy, 
yet it was impossible to be dull while he was by; 
his humour, and his songs, over a bowl of punch, 
were enough to charm the most splenetic, and 
make even rancour throw its face into smiles. 

Two years, as I have said, this fine scene last- 
ed ; and during that soft, transporting period, I 
was the happiest man on earth. But in came 
Death, when we least expected him, snatched my 
charming partner from me, and melted all my hap- 
piness into air, into thin air. A fever, in a few 
days, snapped off the thread of her life, and made 
me the child of affliction, when I had not a thought 
of the mourner. Language cannot paint the dis- 
tress this calamity reduced me to ; nor give an 
idea of what I suffered, when I saw her eyes swim- 
ming in death, and the throes of her departing 
spirit. Blest as she was, in the exercise of every 
virtue that adorns a woman, how inconsolable 
must her husband be ! and, to add to my distress, 
by the same fever fell my friend Tom Fleming, 
who came, the day before my wife sickened, to see 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 169 

us. One of my lads likewise died, and the two ser- 
vant-maids. They all lay dead around me, and I 
sat like one inanimate by the corpse of Charlotte, 
till Friar Fleming (the brother of Tom) brought 
coffins, and buried them all. Thus did felicity 
vanish from my sight, and I remained like a tra- 
veller in Greenland who had lost the sun. 

O eloquent, just, and mighty Death ! it is 
thou alone puttest wisdom into the human heart, 
and suddenly makest man to know himself. — It 
is death that makes the conqueror ashamed of 
his fame, and wish he had rather stolen out of 
the world, than purchased the report of his 
actions by rapine, oppression, and cruelty ; by 
giving in spoil the innocent and labouring soul 
to the idle and insolent ; by emptying the cities 
of the world of their ancient inhabitants, and 
filling them again with so many and so variable 
sorts of sorrows. 

Thus did I reflect as I sat among the dead, 
with my eyes fastened on the breathless corpse 
of Charlotte ; and I wished, if it was possible, to 
have leave to depart, and in the hospitable grave 
lie down from toil and pain, to take my last 
repose ; for I knew not what to do, nor where 
to go. I was not qualified for the world ; nor 
had I a friend, or even an acquaintance in it, 

i 



170 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

that I knew where to find. But in vain I prayed ; 
it was otherwise decreed : I must go on, or con- 
tinue a solitary in the wild I was in. The 
latter it was not possible for me to do, in the 
state of mind I was in, overwhelmed with sorrow, 
and without a companion of any kind ; and, there- 
fore, I must of necessity go to some other place. 
I sold all the living things I had to Friar Flem- 
ing, and locked up my doors. My furniture, 
clothes, books, liquors, and some salt provisions, 
instruments of various kinds, and such like 
things, I left in their several places. There was 
no one to take them, or probability that any one 
would come there to disturb them ; and perhaps, 
some time or other, the Fates might bring me back 
again to the lone place. Though it was then a 
desolate, silent habitation, a striking memento of 
the vanity and precarious existence of all human 
good things ; yet it was possible, that hearty 
friendship, festivity, and social life might once 
more be seen there. The force and operation of 
casualties did wonders every day, and time might 
give me even a relish for solitude in a few years 
more. Thus did I settle affairs in that remote 
place ; and, taking leave of my friend the Friar, 
with my lad O' Finn, rode off. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 171 



CHAPTER XIII. 



Collect thy powers divine, and then drive off 
That evil thing calFd fear, that slavish fiend. 
Let hope, let joy, thy bosom-inmates be, 
Through life still cherish'd, and in death held fast. 
A gracious God, loud-speaking to thy heart, 
Through all his works, this truth inculcates still, 
Nature 's thy nurse, and Providence thy friend. 
Integrity, with fearless heart, ride on : 
Undaunted tread the various path through life. 

Day Thoughts. 



The sun was rising, when we mounted our 
horses, and I again went out to try my fortune in 
the world ; not like the Chevalier of La Mancha, in 
hopes of conquering a kingdom, or marrying- some 
great princess ; but to see if I could find another 
country girl for a wife, and get a little more 
money, as they were the only two things united 
that could secure me from melancholy, and con- 
fer real happiness. To this purpose, as the day 
was extremely fine, and Finn had something cold 
and a couple of bottles at the end of his wallet, I 
gave my horse the rein, and let him take what 
i 2 



172 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

way his fancy chose. For soi$e time, he gently 
trotted the path he had often gone, and over many 
a mountain made his road : but at last he brought 
me to a place I was quite a stranger to, and made a 
full stop at a deep and rapid water, which ran by 
the bottom of a very high hill I had not been up 
before. Over that river I made him go, though 
it was far from being safe, and after many hours, 
ride from that flood, we came to a fine rural scene. 
It was pasture-ground, of a large extent, and in 
many places covered with groves of trees of va- 
rious kinds ; walnuts, chesnuts, and oaks, the 
poplar, the plane-tree, the mulberry, and maple. 
There were likewise the Phoenician cedar, the larix, 
the large-leafed laurel, and the cytisus of Virgil. 
In the middle of this place were the ruins of an 
old seat, overrun with shrubby plants ; the Vir- 
ginia creeper, the box-thorn, the jessamine, the 
honeysuckle, the periwinkle, the birdweed, the 
ivy, and the climber ; and near the door was a 
flowing spring of water, which formed a beauti- 
ful stream, and babbled to the river we came from. 
Charming scene ! so silent, sweet, and pretty, 
that I was highly pleased with the discovery. 

On the margin of the brook, under a mulberry- 
tree, I dined on something which Finn produced 
from his wallet, tongue and ham, and potted black- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 173 

cock ; and, having drunk a pint of cyder, set out 
again, to try what land lay right onward. In an 
hour, we came to a large and dangerous watery 
moor, which we crossed over with great difficulty, 
and then arrived at a range of mountains, through 
which there was a narrow pass, wet and stony, a 
long and tedious ride, which ended on the border 
of a fine country. At four in the afternoon, we 
arrived on the confines of a plain, about a hun- 
dred acres, which was strewed with various flowers 
of the earth's natural produce, that rendered the 
glebe delightful to behold, and was surrounded 
with groves. The place had all the charms that 
verdure, forest, and vale, can give a country. In 
the centre of this ground was a handsome square 
building ; and behind, a large and beautiful gar- 
den, which had a low, thick, holly-hedge, that 
encompassed it. As the door of this house was 
not locked, but opened by a silver spring turner, 
I went in, and found it was one fine spacious 
room, filled on every side with books. Globes, 
telescopes, and other instruments of various 
kinds, were placed on stands, and there were two 
fine writing-tables, one at each end of the library, 
which had paper, ink, and pens. In the middle 
of the room there was a reading-desk, which 
had a short inscription, and on it leaned the 



174 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

skeleton of a man. The legend said, — This 
skeleton was once Charles Henley, Esq. 

This scene astonished me much; and my won- 
der at the whole increased, as I could find no hu- 
man creature living, nor discover any house or 
cottage for an inhabitant. This I thought ex- 
ceeded all the strange things I had seen in this 
wonderful country. But perhaps, it occurred at 
last, there might be a mansion in the woods be- 
fore me, or somewhere in the groves on either 
side ; and therefore, leaving the library, after I 
had spent an hour in it, I walked onwards, and 
came to a wood, which had private walks cut 
through it, and strewed with sand. They shewed 
only light enough to distinguish the blaze of day 
from evening shade, and had seats dispersed, to 
sit and listen to the chorus of the birds, which 
added to the pleasures of the soft silent place. 
For about three hundred yards the walk I was in 
extended, and then terminated in meadows, which 
formed an oval of twenty acres surrounded by 
groves, like the large plain I came from. Exactly 
in the middle of these fields, part of which were 
turned into gardens, there stood a very handsome 
stone house, and, not far from the door of it, a 
fountain played. On each side of the water was 
a garden chair of a very extraordinary make, cu- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 175 

rious and beautiful, and each of them stood under 
an evergreen oak, the broad-leafed ilex — a charm- 
ing shade. 

In one of these chairs sat an ancient gentle- 
man, a venerable man, whose hair was white as 
silver, and his countenance had dignity and 
goodness. His dress and manner shewed him to 
be a man of fortune and distinction; and, by a 
servant in waiting, it appeared he was lord of 
the mansion I was arrived at. He was tall and 
graceful, and had not the least stoop, though he 
wanted but a year of an hundred. I could not 
but admire the fine old gentleman. 

On the same chair, next to him, sat a young 
lady, who was at this time just turned of twenty, 
and had such diffusive charms, as soon new 
fired my heart, and gave my soul a softness even 
beyond what it had felt before. She was a little 
taller than the middle size and had a face that 
was perfectly beautiful. Her eyes were extremely 
fine ; full, black, sparkling ; and her conversation 
was as charming as her person ; both easy, un- 
constrained, and sprightly. 

When I came near to such personages, I bowed 
low to the ground, and asked pardon for in- 
truding into their fine retirement. But the stars 
had led me, a wanderer, to this delightful soli- 



176 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

tude, without the least idea of there being such a 
place in our island; and as their malignant rays 
had forced me to offend, without intending it, I 
hoped they would pardon my breaking in upon 
them. To this the old gentleman replied, 
"You have not offended, Sir, I assure you, but 
are welcome to the Groves of Basil. It gives 
me pleasure to see you here ; for it is very sel- 
dom we are favoured with company. It is diffi- 
cult to discover or make out a road to this place, 
as we are surrounded by impassable mountains, 
and a very dangerous morass : nor can I conceive 
how you found your way here without a guide, or 
ventured to travel this country, as there are no 
towns in this part. There must be something very 
extraordinary in your case ; and as you mention- 
ed your being a wanderer, I should be glad to hear 
the cause of your journeying in this uninhabited 
region. But first," Mr. Henley said, "as it is now 
near eight at night, and you must want refresh- 
ment, having met with no inn the whole day, we 
will go in to supper/' He then arose, and brought 
me to an elegant parlour, where a table was soon 
covered with a fine cold collation, and we imme- 
diately sat down. Every thing was excellent, and 
the wine and other things in perfection. Miss 
Henley sat at the head of the table, her grandfa- 
ther over against her, and placed me at her right 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 177 

hand between them both. The young lady be- 
haved in a very easy, genteel manner, and the old 
gentleman with freedom, cheerfulness, and good 
manners. Till nine this scene lasted, and then 
Mr. Henley again requested that I would oblige 
him with an account of my travels in that part of 
the world. This I said I would do in the best 
manner I could, and while he leaned back in his 
easy chair, and the beautiful Statia fastened her 
glorious eyes upon me, I went on in the following 
words. 

" I am an Englishman, Sir, but have passed the 
greatest part of my life in Ireland, and from the 
western extremity of it I came. My father is one 
of the rich men in that kingdom, and was, for 
many years, the tenderest and most generous pa- 
rent that ever son was blessed with. He spared 
no cost on my education, and gave me leave to 
draw upon him, while I resided in the university 
of Dublin, five years, for what I pleased. Extra- 
vagant as I was in several articles, he never set 
any bounds to my demands, nor asked me what 
I did with the large sums I had yearly from him. 
My happiness was his felicity, and the glory of 
his life to have me appear to the greatest advan- 
tage, and in the most respected character that 
money can gain a man. 

1 5 



178 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

But at last he married his servant-maid, an 
artful, cruel woman, who obtained by her wit and 
charms so great an ascendancy over him, that he 
abandoned me, to raise a young nephew this step- 
mother had to what splendour and power she 
pleased. He had every thing he could name that 
money would procure, and was absolute master 
of the house and land. Not a shilling at this 
time could I get, nor obtain the least thing I 
asked for; and because I refused to become pre- 
ceptor to this young man, my father was so en- 
raged that he would not admit me to bistable any 
longer, but bade me begone. My mother-in-law 
likewise for ever abused me ; and her nephew, the 
lad, insulted me when I came in his way. 

" Being thus compelled to withdraw, I set sail 
for England as soon as it was in my power, and 
arrived in Cumberland by the force of a storm. 
I proceeded from thence to the mountains of 
Stainmore, to look for a gentleman, my friend, 
who lived among those hills; and as I journeyed 
over them, and missed him, I chanced to meet with 
a fine northern girl, and a habitation to my pur- 
pose. I married her, and for almost two years 
past was the happiest of the human race, till the 
sable curtain fell between us, and the angel of 
death translated her glorious soul to the fields of 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 179 

paradise. Not able to bear the place of our resi- 
dence, after I had lost my heart's fond idol, I left 
the charming spot and mansion, where unmixed 
felicity had been for some time my portion, and I 
was travelling on towards London, to see what 
is ordained there in reserve for me; when by 
accident I lost my way, and the Fates conducted 
me to the Groves of Basil. Curiosity led me into 
the library I found in the plain, without this wood, 
from whence, in search for some human creatures, 
I proceeded to the fountain, where I had the 
pleasure of seeing you, Sir, and this young lady. 
This is a summary of my past life ; what is before 
me, Heaven only knows. My fortune I trust with 
the Preserver of men, and the Father of spirits. 
One thing I am certain of by observation, few as 
the days of the years of my pilgrimage have been, 
that the emptiness and unsatisfying nature of this 
world's enjoyments, are enough to prevent my 
having any fondness to stay in this region of 
darkness and sorrow. I shall never leap over the 
bars of life, let what will happen ; but the sooner 
I have leave to depart, I shall think it the better 
for me." The old gentleman seemed surprised at 
my story ; and, after some moments silence, when 
I had done, he said, " Your measure, Sir, is hard ; I 
will be your friend, and, as a subaltern providence, 



180 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

recompense your loss as to fortune in this world. 
In what manner, you shall know to-morrow, when 
we breakfast at eight. It is now time to finish 
our bottle, that we may, according to our custom, 
betimes retire." 

At the time appointed I met the old gentleman 
in the parlour, and just as we had done saluting 
each other, Statia entered, bright and charming 
as Aurora. She was in a rich dress, and hei" 
bright victorious eyes flashed a celestial fire. 
She made our tea, and gave me some of her cof- 
fee. She asked me a few civil questions, and said 
two or three good things on the beauties of the 
morning, and the charms of the country. She 
left us the moment we had done breakfast ; and 
then the old gentleman addressed himself to me 
in the following words : 

" I do not forget the promise I made you; but 
must first relate the history of my family. 

" The skeleton you saw in the library was once 
my son, Charles Henley, a most extraordinary 
man. He had great abilities, and understood 
every thing a mortal is capable of knowing, of 
things human and divine. When he was in his 
nineteenth year, I took him to France and other 
countries, to see the world, and, on our return to 
England, married him into a noble family, to a 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 181 

very valuable young woman of a large fortune ; 
and the fruit of the marriage was the young lady 
you saw 7 sitting on the chair near the table by me. 
This son death has deprived me of, and also his 
amiable wife, who soon followed her husband to 
the grave, with a broken heart. In losing them, I 
have lost all relish for the world ; and being natu- 
rally inclined to retirement and a speculative life, 
have never stirred since from this country-house. 
Here my son devoted himself entirely to study, 
and amused himself with instructing his beloved 
Statia, the young lady you have seen. At his 
death he consigned her to my care ; and as her 
understanding is very great, and her disposition 
sweet and charming, I have not only taken great 
pains in educating her, but have been delighted 
with my employment. Young as she is, but in 
the second month of her one and twentieth year, 
she not only knows more than women of distinc- 
tion generally do, but would be the admiration 
of learned men, if her knowledge in languages, 
mathematics, and philosophy, were known to 
them: and as her father , taught her music and 
painting, perhaps there is not a young woman of 
finer accomplishments in the kingdom. 

" Her father died in the thirty-ninth year of his 
age, when she was not quite sixteen, and, by his 



182 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

will, left her ten thousand pounds, and Basil 
House and estate ; but she is not to inherit it, or 
marry, till she is two-and-twenty. This was her 
father's will. As to the skeleton in the library, 
it was my son's express order it should be so ; and 
that the figure should not be removed from the 
place it stands in, while the library remained in 
that room, but continue a solemn memorial in 
his family, to perpetuate his memory, and be a 
memento mori to the living. 

" This is the history of Basil Groves, and the 
late owner of this seat, and his daughter Statia. 
We live a happy, religious life here, and enjoy 
every blessing that can be desired in this lower 
hemisphere. But as I am not very far from a 
hundred years, having passed that ninety-two 
which Sir William Temple says he never knew 
any one he was acquainted with arrive at, I must 
be on the brink of the grave, and expect every day 
to drop into it. What may become of Statia 
then, gives me some trouble to think ; as all her 
relations, except myself, are in the other world. 
To spend her life here in this solitude, as seems 
to be her inclination, is not proper ; and to go 
into the world by herself, when I am dead, with- 
out knowing any mortal in it, may involve her 
in troubles and distresses. Hear then, my son, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 183 

what I propose to you. You are a young man, 
but serious. You have got some wisdom in the 
school of affliction, and you have no aversion to 
matrimony, as you have just buried, you say, a 
glorious woman, your wife. If you will stay with 
us here, till Statia is two-and-twenty, and in that 
time render yourself agreeable to her, I promise 
you, she shall be your's the day she enters the 
three and twentieth year of her age, and you shall 
have with her fortune all that I am owner of, 
which is no small sum. What do you say to this 
proposal ?" 

" Sir," I replied, "you do me vast honour, much 
more, I am sure, than my merits can pretend to. 
I am infinitely obliged to you, and must be blind 
and insensible, if I refused such a woman as Miss 
Henley, were she far from being the fortune she 
is. But I have not vanity enough to imagine I 
can gain her affections ^especially in my circum- 
stances ; and to get her by your authority, or 
power of disposing of her, is w 7 hat I cannot think 
of. I will stay, however, a few months here, 
since you so generously invite me, and let Miss 
Henley know, I will be her humble servant, if 
she will allow me the honour of bearing that title." 
This made the old gentleman laugh ; and he took 
me by the hand, saying, "This is right. Come, let 
us 2:0 and take a walk before dinner." 



184 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

There I passed the winter, and part of the 
spring, and lived in a delightful manner. The 
mornings I generally spent in the library, reading, 
or writing extracts from some curious MSS. or 
scarce books ; and in the afternoons Miss Henley 
and I walked in the lawns and woods, or sat 
down to cards. She was a fine creature indeed, 
in body and soul, had a beautiful understanding, 
and charmed me to a high degree. Her conver- 
sation was rational and easy, without the least 
affectation from the books she had read ; and she 
would enliven it sometimes by singing, in which 
kind of music she was as great a mistress as I have 
heard. As to her heart, I found it was to be 
gained ; but an accident happened that put a 
stop to the amour. 

In the beginning of March, the old gentleman, 
the excellent Mr. Henley, Statia's grandfather 
and guardian, and my great friend, died, and 
by his death a great alteration ensued in my 
affair. I thought to have had Miss Henley irn- 
mediately, as there was no one to plead her 
father's will against the marriage, and intended 
to send O'Finn for Friar Fleming; but when 
Statia saw herself her own mistress, without any 
superior, or control, and in possession of large 
fortunes, money, and an estate, that she might 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 185 

do as she pleased ; this had an effect on her mind, 
and made a change. She told me, when I ad- 
dressed myself to her, after her grandfather was 
interred, that what she intended to do, in obedi- 
ence to him, had he lived, she thought required 
very serious consideration now she was left to 
herself: that, exclusive of this, her inclination 
really was for a single life ; and had it been 
otherwise, yet it was not proper, since her guar- 
dian was dead, that I should live with her till the 
time limited by her father's will for her to marry 
was come ; but that, as she had too good an 
opinion of me, to imagine her fortune was w T hat 
chiefly urged my application, and must own she 
had a regard for me, she would be glad to hear 
from me sometimes, if I could think her worth 
remembering, after I had left the Groves of Basil. 
This she said with great seriousness, and seemed 
by her manner to forbid my urging the thing any 
farther. 

I assured her, how T ever, that time only could 
wear out her charming image from my mind, and 
that I had reason to fear, she would long remain 
the torment of my heart. She had a right, to be 
sure, to dismiss me from her service, but, in respect 
of her inclination to live a single life, I begged 
leave to observe, that it was certainly quite 



186 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

wrong, and what she could not answer to the 
wise and bountiful Father of the Universe, as she 
was a Christian ; for Christianity taught us that 
marriage was honourable. 

The Divine command was to increase and mul- 
tiply ; " Marry then/' I said, " illustrious Statia, 
marry; and let the blessing of Abraham come upon 
us Gentiles. Oppose not the gospel covenant; that 
covenant which was made with that patriarch, 
but mind the comfortable promises ; * I will pour 
out my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing 
upon thine offspring. The seed of the righteous 
is blessed of the Lord, and their offspring with 
them/ To resolve to live in a state of virginity, 
when we have opportunity to enter the holy 
state of matrimony, in my opinion, is a greater 
sin than murder. What is murder, but forcing 
one from his post against the will of Providence ? 
and if the virgin hinders a being or beings from 
coming on the post, against the will of Provi- 
dence, must she not be culpable ? and must she 
not be doubly criminal, if the being or beings 
she hinders from coming on the stage, or into 
this first state, were to be a part of the perpetual 
generations, who have a right to the inheritance, 
the blessing, and were to be heirs, according to 
the promise made to Abraham? Ponder, illus- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 187 

trious Statia, on the important point. Consider 
what it is to die a maid, when you may, in a regu- 
lar and honourable w T ay, produce heirs to that 
estimable blessing of life and favour, which the 
munificence of the Most High was pleased freely 
to bestow, and which the great Christian Media- 
tor, Agent, and Negotiator, republished, confirm- 
ed, and sealed with his blood. Marry then in re- 
gard to the Gospel, and let it be the fine employ- 
ment of your life, to open gradually the treasures 
of Revelation to the understandings of the little 
Christians you produce. 

"This, I am sure, your holy religion requires 
from you: and if from the Sacred Oracles we turn 
to the book of Nature, is it not in this volume writ- 
ten, that there must be a malignity in the hearts 
of those mortals, who can remain unconcerned 
at the destruction and extirpation of the rest of 
mankind ; and who want even so much good-will as 
is requisite to propagate a creature (in a regular 
and hallowed way), though they received their 
own being from the mere benevolence of their Di- 
vine Master ? What do you say, illustrious Statia? 
Shall it be a succession, as you are an upright 
Christian ? And may I hope to have the high 
honour of sharing in the mutual satisfaction that 
must attend the discharge of so momentous a 
duty?" 



188 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

All the smiles sat on the face of Statia, while 
I was haranguing in this devout manner, and her 
countenance became a constellation of wonders. 
When I had done, this beauty said, " I thank you, 
Sir, for the information you have given me. I 
am a Christian. There is no malignity in my 
heart. You have altered my way of thinking, 
and I now declare for a succession. Let Father 
Fleming be sent for, and without waiting for 
my two-and-twenty, or minding my father's will, 
as there is no one to oblige me to it, I will give 
you my hand." — Charming news! I dispatched 
my lad for the Friar. The priest arrived the 
next day, and at night we were married. Three 
days after, we set out for Orton Lodge, at my 
wife's request, as she longed to see the place. 
For two years more I resided there ; it being 
more agreeable to Statia than the improved 
Groves of Basil. We lived there in as much 
happiness as it is possible to have in this lower 
hemisphere, and much in the same manner as I 
did with Charlotte my first wife. Statia had all 
the good qualities and perfections which rendered 
Charlotte so dear and valuable to me : like her she 
studied to increase the delights of every day, and 
by art, good-humour, and love, rendered the mar- 
ried state such a system of joys as might incline 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 189 

one to wish it could last a thousand years. But 
it was too sublime and agreeable to have a 
long existence here. Statia was taken ill of the 
small-pox, the morning we intended to return to 
Basil Groves: she died the seventh day, and I 
laid her by Charlotte's side. Thus did I become 
again a mourner. I sat with my eyes shut for 
three days ; but at last called for my horse, to 
try what air, exercise, and a variety of objects, 
could do. 



190 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER XIV. 



'Tvvas when, the faithful herald of the day, 

The village-cock crows loud with trumpet shrill, 

The warbling lark soars high, and morning grey- 
Lifts her glad forehead o'er the cloud-wrapt hill ; 

Nature's wild music fills the vocal vale ; 

The bleating flocks that bite the dewy ground, . 

The lowing herds that graze the woodland dale, 
And cavern'd echo, swell the cheerful sound. 



Very early, as soon as I could see day, the first 
of April, 1729, I left Orton Lodge, and went to 
Basil Groves, to order matters there. From 
thence I set out for Harrogate, to amuse myself 
in that agreeable place ; but I did not go the way 
I came to Mr. Henley's house. To avoid the 
dangerous morass I had passed at the hazard of 
my life, we went over a wilder and more roman- 
tic country than I had before seen. I walked up 
a very steep and stony mountain, which took me 
two hours, and then arrived at what I had often 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 191 

seen before me in this part of the world, a great 
lake, the water of which was black as ink to look 
at as it stood, though very bright in a cup, and 
must be owing, as I suppose, to its descending to 
the abyss. By the side of this water, under the 
shade of oak-trees, many hundred years old, we 
rode for an hour, on even ground, and then 
came to a descent so very dangerous and dark, 
through a wood on the mountain's side, that we 
could hardly creep on our feet, nor our horses 
keep their legs as we led them to the bottom. 
This declivity was more than a mile, and ended in 
a narrow lane between a range of precipices that 
almost met at top. This pass was knee-deep in 
water, from a spring in the bottom of the moun- 
tain we had come down, which ran through it, 
and so very stony, that it took us three hours to 
lead our horses to the end of it, though it was 
not more than two miles : but at last we came to 
a fine plain, over which we rode for an hour and 
a half, and arrived at a wood, which seemed very 
large, and stood between two very impassable 
hills. In this forest was our way, and the road 
so dark, and obstructed by the branches of trees, 
that it was dismal and uneasy to go. On, how- 
ever, we went for a long time, and about the mid- 
dle of it came to a circular opening about four 



192 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

acres, in which four very narrow roads met that 
we had travelled, another before us, and one on 
each hand. The way straight on we were cau- 
tioned not to go, as it was a terrible ride ; but 
whether to turn to the right or left, we had for- 
got. I thought to the right; but my lad was 
positive he remembered the direction was, to 
take the left-hand road. This caused a stop 
for some time, and as I was a little fatigued, I 
thought it best, while we paused, to dine. Finn 
brought immediately some meat, bread, and a 
bottle of cider, from his wallet, and under a great 
oak I sat down, while our horses fed on the green. 
One hour we rested, and then went on again, to 
the left, as OTinn advised. For several hours 
we rode, or rather our horses walked, till we got 
out of the wood, and then arrived at the bottom 
of a steep mountain ; one side of which is in the 
northern extremity of Westmoreland, and the 
other in the north end of Stainmore, Richmond- 
shire. This vast hill we ascended, and came 
down the other side of the fell, into a plain, which 
extends south-east for near half a mile to the 
river Tees, that divides the north end of Stain- 
more from the county of Durham. Yorkshire 
here ends in an obtuse angle, between two moun- 
tains ; and the angle, for a quarter of a mile, is 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



193 



filled with that beautiful tall ever-green tree, the 
broad -leaved alaternus, intermixed here and there 
in a charming manner with the fir-tree, the Nor- 
way spruce, and the balm of Gilead. It is as fine 
a grove as can in any part of the world be seen. 

Just at the entrance of it, by the side of a plen- 
tiful spring, which runs into the Tees, there stood 
the prettiest little house I had ever beheld ; and 
over it crept the pretty rock-rose, the cassine, the 
sea-green coromilla, and other ever-green shrubs. 
Before the house, was a large garden, seven or 
eight acres of land, under fruit-trees, and vegeta- 
bles of every kind, very beautifully laid out, and 
watered in a charming manner by the stream that 
murmured a thousand ways from the spring by 
the house-door. It appeared so beautiful and 
useful, so still and delightful a place, so judici- 
ously cultivated, and happily disposed, that I 
could not help wishing to be acquainted with the 
owner of such a lodge. 

As there was no other fence to this fine spot of 
ground but a ditch to keep cattle out, I leaped 
into the gardens, and roamed about for some time, 
to look at the curious things. I then went up to 
the house, in hopes of seeing a human creature 
either high or low. I knocked at the door, but no 
one could I find, though the mansion did not look 

K 



194 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

like an uninhabited place. I then sauntered into 
the grove behind, and in a winding way of three 
hundred yards, that had been cut through the 
perennial wood, and was made between banks of 
springing flowers, beautiful exotics, and various 
aromatic shrubs, crept on till I arrived at a sleep- 
ing-parlour, which stood in the middle of a cir- 
cular acre of ground, and was surrounded and 
shaded with a beautiful grove; the larix, the 
Phoenician cedar, and the upright savin. There 
was a little falling water near the door, that was 
pleasing to look at, and charmed the ear. Enter- 
ing this room, I found the walls painted by some 
masterly hand, in baskets of flowers and the finest 
rural scenes. Two handsome couches were on 
each side the chamber; and between these was as 
curious a table, for wood and workmanship, as 
could be seen. Pretty stools stood near it, and 
one arm-chair. 

On one of the couches, as it was then evening, 
and I knew not what to do, I threw myself down, 
and very soon fell fast asleep. I lay the whole 
night without waking; and as soon as I could per- 
ceive any day, went to see what was become of 
Finn and the horses. The beasts I found feed- 
ing on very good grass in the green, and my 
lad still snoring under a great tree ; but he 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 195 

was soon on his legs, and gave me the follow- 
ing account. 

About an hour after my departure from him, 
he saw a poor man pass over the plain, who had 
come down the mountain we descended, and was 
going to cross the Tees in a small skiff of his own, 
in order to go to his cottage, on the other side of 
Bishoprick : that he lived by fishing and fowling, 
and sold what he got by land and water to the gen- 
tlefolks twenty miles round him : and on asking 
who lived in the house before us, on the skirts 
of the grove, he said, it belonged to a young- 
lady of great fortune, Miss Antonia Cranmer, 
whose father had been dead about a year— died 
in the house I saw : that she was the greatest 
beauty in the world, and only nineteen; and for 
one so young, wise to an astonishing degree : 
that she lived mostly at this seat, with her cou- 
sin, Agnes Vane, who was almost as handsome as 
she : that Miss Cranmer had no relish for the 
world, being used to still life, and seldom stirred 
from home but to visit an old lady, her aunt, 
who lived in Cumberland : that she was at pre- 
sent there, about twenty miles off, and would 
soon return: that she kept four young gentle- 
women, who had no fortunes, to attend her and 
Miss Vane; two old men-servants, a gardener, 
k 2 



196 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

and a cook, and two boys : that, whenever she 
went from her house, she took her whole family 
with her, and left every place locked up as I saw. 
Finn's account surprised me. It set me thinking 
if it was possible to get this charming girl. I 
paused with my finger in my mouth for a few 
minutes, and then bade him saddle the horses. 

As soon as it was possible, I went over the 
river to the fisherman's house, determining there 
to wait, till I could see the beautiful Antonia, 
and her fair kinswoman, another Agnes de Castro, 
to be sure. My curiosity could not pass two such 
glorious objects without an acquaintance with 
them. 

The poor fisherman gave me a bed very readily 
for money, as he had one to spare for a traveller, 
and he provided for me every thing I could de- 
sire He brought bread and ale from a village a 
few miles distant, and I had plenty of fish and 
wild fowl for my table. Every afternoon I cross- 
ed the water, went to the sleeping-parlour, and 
there waited for the charming Antonia. — Twenty 
days I went backwards and forwards, but the 
beauties in that time did not return. Still, how- 
ever, I resolved to wait. 

One night when the fisherman returned, he in- 
formed me the ladies were come home ; and as he 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 197 

had given Miss Cranmer some account of me, as 
a traveller who had journeyed into that remote 
corner of the world in search of antiquities and 
curiosities, he did not think this lady would be 
averse to seeing me, and hearing me too, if I 
contrived any plausible pretence to throw my- 
self in her way. 

Immediately then I crossed the water, went up 
to the house, and as I saw her and the fair Agnes, 
her cousin, walking in the garden, near the ditch, 
I leaped over it immediately, broad as it was, and 
with my hat in my hand, made her a low bow, be- 
gan an apology for presuming to introduce myself 
to her presence in such a manner, and concluded 
with my being in love with her charming charac- 
ter, before I had the honour and happiness of see- 
ing her. What a condition then must I be in, 
when a heaven-born maid like her appeared ! 
Strange pleasures filled my soul, unloosed my 
tongue, and my first talk could not be any thing 
but love. A deal I said on the subject, not worth 
now repeating ; and the issue was, that I became 
so well acquainted with this innocent beauty, 
that, on taking my leave, I had an invitation to 
breakfast with her the next morning. I was there 
by eight, and really and truly quite charmed with 
her. She was pretty as it was possible for flesh 



198 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

and blood to be ; had a beautiful understanding ; 
and as she had very little notion of men, having 
seen very few, except the two old servants who 
lived with her, she had not a notion of any danger 
that could come from conversing freely with a 
man she knew nothing of, and who might be an 
enemy in disguise. 

After breakfast, I offered to go, but she asked 
me to stay and dine ; and to sum up the matter, I 
did dine, sup, and breakfast with her every day 
for a month, till my good priest, Friar Fleming, 
arrived, on a letter I had sent him, and we were 
married before the end of six weeks. We loved 
to excess, and did enhance human happiness to 
a high degree. She was good as an angel ; and 
for two years we lived in unspeakable felicity. 
For the greatest part of that time, we were at 
Orton Lodge, as she liked the wild place. There 
she likewise died of the small-pox, in the first 
month of the third year, and left me the most dis- 
consolate of men. Four days I sat with my eyes 
shut, on account of this loss; and then left the 
Lodge once more, to live, if I could, since my 
religion ordered me so to do, and see what I was 
next to meet with in the world. As grief sat 
powerfully on my spirits, and, if not dislodged, 
would have drunk them all up very soon, 1 re~ 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 199 

solved to hasten to Harrogate, and in the festi- 
vities of that place forget my departed partner as 
soon as I could. I laid my Antonia by my Char- 
lotte and my Statia, and then rode off. What 
happened at the Wells, and all the observations I 
made there, and thereabout, will be detailed in the 
next chapter. 

N. B. As I mention nothing of any children by 
so many wives, some readers may perhaps wonder 
at this, and therefore, to give a general answer, 
once for all, I think it sufficient to observe, that I 
had a great many, to carry on the succession ; but 
as they never were concerned in any extraordinary 
affairs, nor ever did any remarkable things, that 
I heard of — only rise and breakfast, read and 
saunter, drink and eat, it would not be fair, in my 
opinion, to make any one pay for their history. 



200 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER XV. 



Thou, Cheerfulness, by Heaven design'd 
To rule the pulse that moves the mind, 
Whatever fretful passion springs, 
Whatever Chance or Nature brings 
To strain the tuneful poise within, 
And disarrange the sweet machine, — 
Thou, goddess, with a master-hand, 
Dost each attemper'd key command, 
Refine the soft, and swell the strong, 
'Till all is concord, all is song. 

In the year 1731, I arrived at Harrogate, in 
the West-riding of Yorkshire, in order to amuse 
my mind with the diversions and company of the 
place. 

In short, of all the Wells I know, Harrogate 
is, in my opinion, the most charming. The waters 
are incomparable, no air can be better; and with 
the greatest civility, cheerfulness, and good-hu- 
mour, there is a certain rural plainness and free- 
dom mixed, which is vastly pleasing. The lady 
of pleasure, the well-dressed tailor, and the games- 
ter, are not to be found there. Gentlemen of the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 201 

country, and women of birth and fortune, their 
wives, sisters, and daughters, are for the most 
part the company. There were at least fourscore 
ladies in the country-dances every night while I 
was there ; and among them many fine women. 

Among the company I found at this agreeable 
place, were six Irish gentlemen, who had been 
my contemporaries in Trinity College, Dublin, 
and were right glad to see me, as we had been 
Sociorums (a word of Swift's) at the Conniving- 
house at Ring's-end, for many a summer's evening, 
and their regard for me was great. They thought 
I had been long numbered with the dead, as they 
could not get any account of me for so many years ; 
and when they saw me, at their entering the public 
room, sitting by a beauty, in deep discourse, 
" Zounds," says one of them, "there he is, making 
love to the, finest woman in the world !" These 
gentlemen were ; Mr. Gollogher, Mr. Gallaspy, 
Mr. Dunkley, Mr. Makins, Mr. Monaghan, and 
Mr. O'Keefe, descended from the Irish kings, and 
first cousin to the great O'Keefe, who was buried 
in Westminster- Abbey. They were all men of large 
fortunes, and, Mr.Makins excepted, were as hand- 
some, fine fellows as could be picked out in all 
the world. Makins was a very low, thin man, 
not four feet high, and had but one eye, with 
k 5 



202 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

which he squinted most shockingly. He wore 
his own hair, which was short and bad, and only 
dressed by his combing it himself in the morning, 
without oil or powder. But, as he was matchless 
on the fiddle, sung well, and chatted agreeably, 
he was a favourite with the ladies. They pre- 
ferred ugly Makins, as he was called, to many 
very handsome men. 

O'Keefe was as distinguished a character as I 
have ever known. He had read and thought, tra- 
velled and conversed, was a man of sense, and a 
scholar. He had a greatness of soul which 
shewed a pre-eminence of dignity, and by con- 
duct and behaviour, the faithful interpreters of 
the heart, always attested the noblest and most 
generous sentiments. He had an extreme abhor- 
rence of meanness of all kinds, treachery, re- 
venge, envy, littleness of mind ; and shewed in all 
his actions the qualities that adorn a man. His 
learning was of the genteel and useful kind ; a 
sort of agreeable knowledge, which he acquired 
rather from a sound taste and good judgment, 
than from the books he had read. He had a 
right estimation of things, and had gathered up 
almost every thing that is amusing or instructive. 
This rendered him a master in the art of pleasing : 
and as he had added to these improvements the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 203 

fashionable ornaments of life, languages, and 
bodily exercises, he was the delight of all that 
knew him. 

Makins was possessed of all the excellent qua- 
lities and perfections that are within the reach of 
human abilities. He had received from nature 
the happiest talents, and he made singular im- 
provements of them by a successful application 
to the most useful and most ornamental studies. 
Music, as before observed, he excelled in. His 
intellectual faculties were fine, and to his honour 
I can affirm, that he mostly employed them, as 
he did his great estate, to the good of mankind, 
and the advancement of morality. 

Makins was a religious man, but his religion 
was without any melancholy, nor had it any thing 
of that severity of temper, which diffuses too often, 
in the hearts of the religious, a morose contempt 
of the world, and an antipathy to its pleasures. 
He avoided the assemblies of fools, knaves, and 
blockheads, but was fond of good company, and 
condemned that doctrine which taught men to re- 
tire from human society under the pretence of 
preparing for the society of celestials, 

Gallaspy was the strongest and tallest man I 
have ever seen, well made, and very handsome. 
He had wit and abilities, sung well, and talked 



204 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

with great sweetness and fluency; but was so 
extremely wicked, that it would have been bet- 
ter for him if he had been a natural fool. By 
his vast strength and activity, his riches and 
eloquence, few things could withstand him. 
He was the most prophane swearer I have 
known ; and drank seven in a hand — that is, se- 
ven glasses so placed, between the fingers of his 
right hand, that in drinking, the liquor fell into 
the next glasses, and thereby he drank out of the 
first glass seven glasses at once. This was a 
common thing, I find from a book in my posses- 
sion, in the reign of Charles the Second; but 
this gentleman was the only man I ever saw who 
attempted to do it. And he made but one gulp of 
whatever he drank : he did not swallow a fluid 
like other people, but, if it was a quart, poured it 
in, as from pitcher to pitcher. When he smoked 
tobacco, he always blew two pipes at once, one 
at each corner of his mouth, and threw the smoke 
of both out of his nostrils. He had killed two 
men in duels before I left Ireland, and would 
have been hanged, but it was his good fortune to 
be tried before a judge who never let any man 
suffer for killing another in this manner : this 
was the late Sir John St. Leger. He set no 
bounds or restrictions to mirth and revels. He 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 205 

only slept every third night, and that often in his 
clothes in a chair, where he would sweat so pro- 
digiously as to be wet quite through; as wet as 
if come from a pond, or a pail of water had been 
thrown on him. While all the world was at rest, 
he was either drinking or dancing, scouring the 
stews, or riding, as hard as he could drive his 
horse, on some iniquitous project. And yet he 
never was sick, nor did he ever receive any hurt 
or mischief. In health, joy, and plenty, he 
passed life away ; and died about a year ago at 
his house in the county of Galway, without a 
pang, or any kind of pain. This was Jack Gal- 
laspy. There are, however, some things to be 
said in his favour ; and as he had more regard for 
me than any of his acquaintance, I should be un- 
grateful if I did not do him all the justice in my 
power. 

He was, in the first place, far from being quar- 
relsome; and if he fought a gentleman at the small 
sword, or boxed with a porter or coachman, it 
was because he had in some degree been ill used, 
or fancied that the laws of honour required him 
to call an equal to an account for a transaction. 
His temper was naturally sweet. 

In the next place, he was the most generous 
of mankind. His purse of gold was ever at his 



206 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

friend's service : he was kind and good to his 
tenants, and to the poor a very great benefactor. 
He would give more money away to the sick and 
diseased in one year, than, I believe, many rich 
and pious people do in seven. 

How far all this can excuse Mr. Gallaspy, I 
pretend not to determine ; but as I thought it pro- 
per to give the world the picture of so extraor- 
dinary a man, it was incumbent on me, as his 
friend, to say all I could, with truth, in his vindi- 
cation. 

Dunkley had an extensive capacity, and exqui- 
site taste, and a fine genius. Besides an erudi- 
tion which denominates what we call a man of 
learning, he happily possessed a social know- 
ledge, which rendered him agreeable to every 
body. He was one of those men that are capable 
of touching every note. To all the variety of 
topics for conversation, the diversity of occur- 
rences and incidents, the several distinctions of 
persons, he could adapt himself. He would laugh 
like Democritus : weep like Heraclitus. He had 
the short, pert trip of the affected ; the haughty, 
tragic stalk of the solemn ; and the free, genteel 
gait of the fine gentleman. He was qualified to 
please all tastes, and capable of acting every part. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 207 

He was grave, gay, a philosopher, and a trifler. 
He had a time for all things relative to society 
and his own true happiness,, but none for any thing 
repugnant to honour and conscience. He was a 
surprising and admirable man. 

Monaghan had genius and knowledge, had read 
many books, but knew more of mankind. He 
laughed at the men who lost among their books 
the elegancy of mind so necessary in civil society. 
He had no relish but for nice studies and fine 
literature, and despised too serious and abstruse 
sciences. This was reckoned a fault in him by 
several judges ; but with me it is a quere if he 
were much to blame. Politeness is certainly 
preferable to dry knowledge and thorny inquiries : 
this gentleman's was such as rendered him for 
ever agreeable and engaging. He was continu- 
ally an improving friend, and a gay companion. 
In the qualities of his soul, he was generous with- 
out prodigality, humane without weakness, just 
without severity, and fond without folly. He was 
an honest and charming fellow. This gentleman 
and Mr. Dunkley married ladies they fell in love 
w T ith at Harrogate Wells : Dunkley had the fair 
Alcmena, Miss Cox, of Northumberland ; and 
Monaghan, Antiope with haughty charms, Miss 



208 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

Pearson, of Cumberland. They lived very happy 
many years, and their children, 1 hear, are settled 
in Ireland. 

Gollogher was a man of learning and extraor- 
dinary abilities. He had read very hard for seve- 
ral years, and during that time, had collected and 
extracted from the best books more than any man 
I ever was acquainted with. He had four vast 
volumes of common-place, royal paper, bound 
in rough calf, and had filled them with what is 
most curious and beautiful in works of literature, 
most refined in eloquent discourses, most poig- 
nant in books of criticism, most instructive in 
history, most touching and affecting in news, 
catastrophes, and stories ; and with aphorisms, 
sayings, and epigrams. A prodigious memory 
made all this his own, and a great judgment ena- 
bled him to reduce every thing to the most exact 
point of truth and accuracy. A rare man ! Till 
he was five-and-twenty, he continued this stu- 
dious life, and but seldom went into the mixed 
and fashionable circles of the world. Then, all at 
once, he sold every book he had, and determined 
to read no more. He spent his every day in the best 
company of every kind ; and as he had the happy 
talent of manner, and possessed that great power 
which strikes and awakens fancy, by giving every 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 209 

subject the new dress and decoration it requires; 
— could make the most common thing; no longer 
trivial when in his hand, and render a good 
thing most exquisitely pleasing; — as he told a 
story beyond most men, and had, in short, a uni- 
versal means towards a universal success, it was 
but natural that he should be every where liked 
and wished for. He charmed wherever he came. 
The specific I have mentioned made every one 
fond of him. With the ladies especially he was a 
great favourite, and more fortunate in his amours 
than any man I knew. Had he wanted the fine 
talents he was blessed with, yet his being an ex- 
tremely handsome man, and a master on the fid- 
dle, could not but recommend him to the sex. 
He might, if he had pleased, have married any one 
of the most illustrious and richest women in the 
kingdom; but he had an aversion to matrimony, 
and could not bear the thought of a wife. Love 
and a bottle were his taste. He was, however, 
the most honourable of men in his amours, and 
never abandoned any woman to distress, as too 
many men of fortune do, when they have gratified 
desire. All the distressed were ever sharers in 
Mr. Gollogher's fine estate, and especially the 
girls he had taken to his breast. He provided 
happily for them all, and left his nineteen daugh- 



210 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

ters, of seventeen mothers, a thousand pounds 
each. This was acting with a generous temper ; 
and to the memory of the benevolent Tom Gollog- 
her I devote this memorandum. 

While I was at Harrogate it was my fortune to 
dance with a lady who had the head of Aristotle, 
the heart of a primitive Christian, and the form of 
Venus de Medicis. This was Miss Spence, of 
Westmoreland. I was not many hours in her 
company before I became most passionately in 
love with her. I did all I could to win her heart, 
and at last asked her the question. But before 
I inform my reader what the consequence of this 
was, I must take some notice of what I expect 
from the critical reviewers. These gentlemen will 
attempt to raise the laugh. Our moralist, they 
will say, has buried three wives running, and they 
are hardly cold in their graves, before he is dan- 
cing like a buck at the Wells, and plighting vows 
to a fourth girl, the beauty Miss Spence. An 
honest fellow this Suarez, as Pascal says of that 
Jesuit, in his provincial letters. 

To this I reply, that I think it unreasonable 
and impious to grieve immoderately for the dead. 
A decent and proper tribute of tears and sorrow, 
humanity requires ; but when that duty has been 
paid, we must remember, that to lament a dead 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 211 

woman is not to lament a wife. A wife must be 
a living woman. The wife we lose by death is 
no more than a sad and empty object, formed by 
the imagination; and to be still devoted to her, is 
to be in love with an idea. It is a mere chimeri- 
cal passion, as the deceased has no move to do 
with this world, than if she had existed before the 
flood. As w r e cannot restore what nature has de- 
stroyed, it is foolish to be faithful to affliction. — 
Nor is this all. If the woman we marry has the 
seven qualifications which every man would wish 
to find in a wife, beauty, discretion, sweetness 
of temper, a sprightly wit, fertility, wealth, and 
noble extraction, yet death's snatching so amia- 
ble a wife from our arms can be no reason for 
accusing Providence of injustice ; nor can it au- 
thorize us to sink into insensibility, and neglect 
the duty and business of life. This wife was born 
to die, and we receive her under the condition of 
mortality. She is lent but for a term, the limits 
of which we are not made acquainted with ; and 
when this term is expired, there can be no injus- 
tice in taking her back ; nor are we to indulge the 
transports of grief to distraction, but should look 
out for another with the seven qualifications, as 
it is not good for man to be alone, and as he is 
by the Abrahamic covenant bound to carry on 



212 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

the succession, in a regular way, if it be in his 
power. — Nor is this all; if the woman adorned 
with every natural and acquired excellence is 
translated from this gloomy planet to some better 
world, to be a sharer of the Divine favour, in that 
peaceful and happy state which God has prepared 
for the virtuous and faithful, must it not be sense- 
less for me to indulge melancholy and continue a 
mourner on her account, while she is breathing 
the balmy air of paradise, enjoying pure and radi- 
ant vision, and beyond description happy ? 

In the next place, as I had forfeited my father's 
favour and estate, and had nothing but my own 
honest industry to secure me daily bread, it was 
necessary for me to lay hold of every opportunity 
to improve my fortune, and of consequence do my 
best to gain the heart of the first rich young wo- 
man who came in my way after I had buried a 
wife. It was not fit for me to sit snivelling for 
months, because my wife died before me, which 
was, at least, as probable as that she should be 
the survivor; but instead of solemn affliction, and 
the inconsolable part, for an event I foresaw, it 
was incumbent on me, after a little decent mourn- 
ing, to consecrate myself to virtue and good for- 
tune united in the form of a woman. Whenever 
she appeared, it was my business to get her if I 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 213 

could. This made me sometimes a dancer at the 
Wells, in the days of my youth. 

As to Miss Spence, she was not cruel, but told 
me at last, after I had tired her with my addresses 
and petitions, that she would consider my case, and 
give me an answer, when I called at her house in 
Westmoreland, to which she was then going : — at 
present, however, to tell me the truth, she had very 
little inclination to change her condition : she was 
as happy as she could wish to be, and she had 
observed, that many ladies of her acquaintance 
had been made unhappy by becoming wives. 
" The husband generally proves a very different 
man from the courtier, and it is luck indeed if 
a young woman, by marrying, is not undone. — 
During the mollia tempora fandi, as the poet calls 
it, the man may charm, when, like the god of 
eloquence, he pleads, and every word is soft as 
flakes of falling snow; but when the man is 
pleased to take off the mask, and play the do- 
mestic hero, gods ! what miseries have I seen 
in families ensue ! If this were my case, I 
should run stark mad." 

Miss Spence's mentioning the memorable line 
from Virgil surprised me not a little, as she never 
gave the least hint before, though we had con- 
versed then a fortnight, of her having any notion 



214 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

of Latin; and I looked at her with a raised admi- 
ration, before I replied in the following manner. — 
• What you say, Miss Spence, is true. But this 
is far from being the case of all gentlemen. If 
there be something stronger than virtue in too 
many of them, something that masters or subdues 
it ; a passion, or passions, rebellious and lawless, 
which makes them neglect some high relations, 
and take the throne from God and reason — gam- 
ing, drinking, keeping ; yet there are very many 
exceptions, I am sure. I know several who have 
an equal affection to goodness; and were my ac- 
quaintance in the world larger than it is, I be- 
lieve I could name a large number, who would 
not prefer indulgence to virtue, or resign her for 
any consideration. 

" On the other hand, I would ask, if there are 
no unhappy marriages by the faults of women ? 
Are all the married ladies consistently and 
thoroughly good, that is, effectually so? Do 
they all yield themselves entirely and universally 
to the government of conscience, subdue every 
thing to it, and conquer every adverse passion 
and inclination? Has reason always the sove- 
reignty, and nothing wrong to be seen ? Are truth, 
piety, and goodness, the settled prevailing regard 
in the hearts and lives of all the married ladies 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 215 

you know ? Have you heard of no unhappy mar- 
riages by the passions and vices of women, as 
well as by the faults of men ? I am afraid there 
are too many wives as subject to ill-habits as the 
men can be. I could tell some sad stories to this 
purpose : but all I shall say more is, that there 
are faults on both sides, and that it is not only 
the ladies run a hazard of being ruined by marry- 
ing. I am sure there are as many men of fortune 
miserable by the manners and conduct of their 
wives, as you can name ladies who are sufferers 
by the temper and practice of their husbands. 
This is the truth of the case ; and the business is, 
in order to avoid the miseries we both have seen 
among married people, to resolve to act well and 
wisely. " This is the thing, to be sure," Miss Spence 
replied; " This will prevent faults on either side. 
Such a course as virtue and piety require must 
have a continued tendency to render life a scene 
of the greatest happiness; and it may gain infi- 
nitely hereafter. — Call upon me then, at Cleator, 
as soon as you can/' Miss Spence concluded, 
with her face in smiles, " and we will talk over 
this affair again." — Thus we chatted as we dined 
together in private ; and early the next morning 
Miss Spence left the Wells. 



216 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER XVI. 



Come, Cheerfulness, triumphant fair, 
Shine thro' the painful cloud of care. 
O sweet of language, mild of mien, 
O Virtue's friend, and pleasure's queen ! 
Fair guardian of domestic life, 
Best banisher of home-bred strife ; 
Nor sullen lip, nor taunting eye 
Deform the scene where thou art by : 
No sick'ning husband damns the hour 
That bound his joys to female power ; 
No pining mother weeps the cares 
That parents waste on hopeless heirs : 
Th* officious daughters pleased attend ; 
The brother rises to the friend : 
By thee our board with flowers is crown'd, 
By thee with songs our walks resound : 
By thee the sprightly mornings shine, 
And evening hours in peace decline. 



On May 19, 1731, I mounted my horse, and 
riding several miles, I came into a silent unfre- 
quented glade, that was finely adorned with 
streams and trees. Nature there seemed to be 
lulled into a kind of pleasing repose, and con- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 217 

spired as it were to soften a speculative genius 
into solid and awful contemplations. The woods, 
the meadows, and the water, formed the most 
delightful scenes, and the charms of distant 
prospects multiplied as I travelled on : but at 
last I came to a seat which had all the beauties 
that proportion, regularity, and convenience, 
can bestow. The pretty mansion was situated 
in the midst of meadows, and surrounded with 
gardens, trees, and various shades. A fountain 
played to a great height before the door, and 
fell into a circular reservoir of water, that had 
foreign w r ild-fowl swimming on its surface. The 
whole was very fine. 

Here I walked for some time, and after roam- 
ing about, went up to the house, to admire the 
beauties it displayed. I found the windows 
open, and could see several ladies in one of the 
apartments. How to gain admittance was the 
question, and I began to contrive many ways ; 
but while I was busied in this kind of speculation, 
a genteel footman came up to me, and said, his 
lady had sent him to inform me I might walk 
in and look at the house, if I pleased. So in I 
went, and passed through several grand rooms, 
all finely furnished, and filled with paintings of 
great price. In one of those chambers the ser- 

L 



218 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

vant left me, and told me, he would wait upon 
me again in a little time. At length, however, 
a door was opened, and a lady entered, who was 
very handsome, and richly dressed beyond what 
I had ever seen. She had diamonds enough for 
■ a queen. I was amazed at the sight of her, and 
wondered still more, when, after being honoured 
with a low courtesy, on my bowing to her, she 
asked me in Irish, how I did, and how long I 
had been in England. My surprise was so great 
I could not speak ; and upon this she said, in 
the same language, "I see, Sir, you have no re- 
membrance of me. You have quite forgot young 
Imoinda, of the county of Galway in Ireland, 
who was your partner in country-dances, when 
you passed the Christmas of the year 1715 at 
her father's house." " What ! " I said, " Miss Wolf 
of Balineskay ? O my Imoinda ! " And snatching 
her to my arms, I almost stifled her with kisses. 
I was so glad to see her again, and in the situ- 
ation she appeared in, that I could not help 
expressing my joys in that tumultuous manner, 
and hoped she would excuse her Valentine, as 
I then remembered I had had that honour when 
we were both very young. 

This lady, who was good-humour itself in flesh 
and blood, was so far from being angry at this 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 219 

strange flight of mine, that she only laughed 
excessively at the oddness of the thing ; but some 
ladies who came into the apartment with her 
seemed frightened, and at a loss what to think, 
till she cleared up the affair to them, by inform- 
ing them who I was, and how near her father and 
mine lived to each other in the country of Ireland. 
She was indeed extremely glad to see me, and 
from her heart bade me welcome to Clankford. 
Our meeting was a vast surprise to both of us. 
She thought I had been in the Elysian fields, as 
she had heard nothing of me for several years : 
and I little imagined I should ever find her in 
England, in the rich condition she was in. She 
asked me by what destiny I was brought to 
Yorkshire ; and in return for my short story, 
gave me an account of herself at large. Till the 
bell rang for dinner, we sat talking together, and 
then went down to as elegant a one as I had ever 
seen. There were twelve at table, six young 
ladies, all very handsome, and six gentlemen. 
Good-humour presided, and in a rational delight- 
ful cheerfulness we passed some hours away. 
After coffee, we w r ent to cards, and from them 
to country-dances, as two of the footmen played 
well on the fiddle. The charming Imoinda was 
my partner, and as they all danced extremely 
l2 



220 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

well, we were as happy a little set, as ever footed 
it to country measure. Two weeks I passed in 
this fine felicity. Then we all separated, and 
went different ways. 

I intended, on leaving this lady, to be at 
Knaresborough at night ; but the Fates, for a 
while, took me another way. At the inn where 
I dined, I became acquainted with a gentleman, 
who was of my own age, and an ingenious agree- 
able man. This was Oliver Wincup, Esq.; who had 
lately married Miss Horner of Northumberland, 
a fine young creature, and a great fortune. This 
gentleman, by his good-humour, and several good 
songs, pleased me so much, that I drank more 
than I intended, and was easily prevailed on to go 
with him, in the evening, to Woodcester, the name 
of his seat, which was but ten miles from the 
house we had dined at. We came in just as they 
were going to tea. There was a great deal of com- 
pany, at least a dozen ladies, besides half a score 
gentlemen, and all of them as gay and engaging 
as the best-bred young mortals could be. 

At this delightful place I stayed ten days, and 
was very happy indeed. We drank, we laughed, 
we danced, we sung, and chatted ; and when that 
was done, it was night. But country-dances 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 221 

were the chief diversion, and I had a partner, 
who was not only a wonder in face and person, 
divinely pretty, but did wonders in every motion. 
This was Miss Veyssiere of Cumberland : the 
dear creature ! There were few could equal me 
in dancing. But Miss Veyssiere outdid me 
far: her steps were infinite, and she did them 
with that amazing agility, that she seemed like a 
dancing angel in the air. Eight nights we footed 
it together, and all the company said, we were 
born for each other. She did charm me, and I 
should have asked her the question, to try her 
temper, if Wincup had not told me, her father 
intended to sacrifice her to a man old enough 
to be her grandfather, for the sake of a great 
jointure ; and in a week or two she was to dance 
the reel of Bogee with an old monk. — "Poor 
Miss Veyssiere 1" I said, " what connexion can 
there be between the hoary churl and you, 

While side by side the blushing maid 
Shrinks from his visage, half afraid ? 

I do not wish you may feather him, but may you 
' bury him very quickly, and be happy." 

Another of our diversions at Woodcester, was a 
little company of singers and dancers Mr. Wincup 



222 THE SPIH1T OF BUNCLE. 

had hired, to perform in a sylvan theatre he had 
in his gardens. These people did the mime, the 
dance, the song, extremely well. There was 
among them one Miss Hinxworth, a charming 
young creature, who excelled in every thing ; but 
in singing, especially, had no equal, I believe, in 
the world. She was a gentleman's daughter, and 
had been carried off by one OTlegan, an Irish- 
man and dancing-master, the head of this com- 
pany. He was the most active fellow upon earth, 
and the best harlequin I have ever seen. Every 
evening we had something or other extraordinary 
from these performers. He gave us two pieces 
which so nearly resembled the two favourite en- 
tertainments called Harlequin Sorcerer, and the 
Genii, (though in several particulars better,) that 
I cannot help thinking Mr. Rich owed his Har- 
lequin Sorcerer to O'Regan ; and that the Genii 
of Drury-Lane was the invention of this Irish- 
man. 

You know, reader, that in the first scene of 
Harlequin Sorcerer there is a group of witches 
at their orgies in a wilderness by moon-light, 
and that harlequin comes riding in the air be- 
tween two witches, upon a long pole. Here 
O'Regan did what was never attempted at 
Covent-Garden house, and what no other man 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 223 

in the world, I believe, did ever do. As the 
witches danced round and round, hand in hand, 
as swift as they could move, O 'Regan leaped 
upon the shoulder of one of them, and for near 
a quarter of an hour, jumped the contrary way 
as fast as they went, round all their shoulders. 
This was a fine piece of activity. I think it 
much more wonderful, than to keep at the top 
of the out-wheel of a water-mill, by jumping 
there, as it goes with the greatest rapidity round. 
This Mun. Hawley, of Loch-Gur in the county of 
Tipperary, could do. He was a charming fellow 
in body and mind, and fell, unfortunately, in the 
twenty-second year of his age. In a plain field, 
by a trip of his horse, he came down, and frac- 
tured his skull. He did not think he was hurt : 
but at night, as soon as he began to eat, he was 
sick. A surgeon was sent for to look at his 
head. It was cracked in several places, and 
he died the next day. He and I were near 
friends. 

The first of June, 1731, at five in the morning, 
I took my leave of honest Wincup, as cheerful 
and worthy a fellow as ever lived, and set out 
for Knaresborough ; but lost my way, went quite 
wrong, and in three hours time came to a little 
blind alehouse, the sign of the Cat and Bagpipe, 



224 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

in a lone silent place. The master of this small 
inn was one Tom Clancy, brother to the well- 
known Martin Clancy in Dublin. He came to 
England to try his fortune, as he told me ; and 
married an old woman, who kept this public 
house, the sign of the Cat, to which Tom added 
the Bagpipe. As he had been a waiter at his 
brother's house, he remembered to have seen me 
often there, and was rejoiced at my arrival at the 
Cat and Bagpipe. He got me a good supper of 
trouts, fine ale, and a squib of punch ; and after 
he had done talking of all the gallant fellows that 
used to resort to his brother Martin's, such as the 
heroes of Trinity College, Dublin, Captain Mdc- 
can of the county of Kerry, and many more, he 
let me go to sleep. 

The next morning, betimes, I was up, and 
walked into a wood adjoining to Clancy's house. 
I sauntered on for about an hour easily enough, 
but at last came to a part of the forest that was 
almost impenetrable. Curiosity incited me to 
struggle onwards, if possible, that I might see 
what country was before me, or if any house 
was to be found in this gloomy place : this cost 
me a couple of hours, much toil, and many 
scratches ; but at length I arrived at the edge of 
a barren moor, and beyond it, about a quarter of 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 225 

a mile off, saw another wood. Proud to be dar- 
ing, on I went, and soon came to the wood in 
view, which I found cut into walks, and arrived 
at a circular space surrounded with a forest, that 
was above a hundred yards every way. In the 
centre of this was a house, inclosed within a very 
broad deep moat, full of water, and the banks on 
the inside, all round, were so thick planted with 
trees, that there was no seeing any thing of the 
mansion but the roof and the chimneys. Over the 
water was one narrow drawbridge, lifted up, and 
a strong door on the garden-side of the moat. 
Round I walked several times, but no soul could 
I see : not the least noise could I hear ; nor was 
there a cottage any where in view. I wondered 
much at the whole ; and if I had had my lad 
OTinn with me, and my pole, I would most cer- 
tainly have attempted to leap the foss, broad as it 
was, and if it was possible, have known who were 
the occupants of this strange place. But as nothing 
could be done, nor any information be had, I re- 
turned again to the Cat and Bagpipe. 

It was ten by the time I got back, and at break- 
fast I told Clancy, my landlord, where I had been, 
and asked him if he knew who lived in that won- 
derful place. " His name/' he replied, " is Cock, 
an old lawyer and limb of the devil, and the most 
l5 



226 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

hideous man to behold that is upon the face of 
the earth. Every thing that is bad and shocking 
is in his compound : he is to outward appearance 
a monster : and within, the miser, the oppressor, 
the villain. He is despised and abhorred, but so 
immensely rich, that he can do any thing, and no 
one is able to contend with him. — "I could re- 
late," says Tom, " a thousand instances of his in- 
justice and cruelty; but one alone is sufficient 
to render his memory for ever detested. Two 
gentlemen of fortune, who had employed him 
several years in their affairs, and had a good 
opinion of him, on account of a canted upright- 
ness and seeming piety, left him sole guardian 
of a daughter each of them had, and the ma- 
nagement of fifty thousand pounds a-piece, the 
fortune of these girls, with power to do as he 
pleased, without being subject to any controul, 
till they are of age. These ladies, as fine crea- 
tures as ever the eye of man beheld, he has had 
now a year in confinement in that prison you 
saw in the wood ; and while he lives, will certain- 
ly keep them there, on account of the hundred 
thousand pounds, or till he dispose of them to 
his own advantage, some way or other. He in- 
tends them, it is said, for two ugly nephews he 
has, who are now at school, about fourteen years 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 227 

old ; and for this purpose, or some other as bad, 
never suffers them to stir out of the garden sur- 
rounded by the moat, nor lets any human crea- 
ture visit them. They are greatly to be pitied, 
but bear the severe usage wonderfully well. One 
of them, Miss Martha Tilston, is in her twentieth 
year; and the other, Miss Alithea Llandsoy, in 
her nineteenth. They are girls of great sense, 
and would, if any kind of opportunity offered, 
make a brave attempt to escape ; but that seems 
impossible. They are not only so strictly confined, 
and the lawyer for ever at home with them, except 
he rides a few miles ; but are attended continually 
in the garden, when they walk, by a servant who 
is well paid, and devoted to the old man her mas- 
ter. This makes them think their state is fixed 
for life ; and to banish melancholy, they read, and 
practise music. They both play excellently on 
the fiddle." 

Here Clancy had done, and I was much more 
surprised at his relation than at the place of their 
residence which I had seen. I became very 
thoughtful, and continued for some time with 
my eyes fixed on the table, while I revolved the 
case of these unfortunate young ladies. " But 
is all this true?" at last I said : " or only report? 
How did you get such particular information?" — 



228 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

" I will tell you," Tom answered. " Old Cock is 
my landlord, and business often brings me to his 
house in the wood, to pay my rent, or ask for 
something I want. Besides, I sometimes bring 
a fat pig there, and other things to sell. My 
daughter, likewise, has sometimes a piece of 
work in hand for the ladies, and she and I take 
a walk with it there by a better and shorter way 
than you went. You cannot think how glad they 
are to see us, and they let me into all their per- 
plexities and distress/' 

On hearing this, a sudden thought of being ser- 
viceable to these ladies came into my head, and I 
w 7 as going to ask a question in relation to it, when 
two horsemen rode up to the door, and one of 
them called House ! " This/' says my landlord, 
" is old Cock and his man ;" and immediately 
went out to him, to know his will. He told him, 
he came for the ride-sake himself, to see if any 
letters were left for him by that day's post at his 
house, and would dine with him, if he had any 
thing to eat. "That I have," the man replied, 
" as fine a fowl, bacon and greens, as ever was 
served up to any table, and only one gentleman, 
a stranger and traveller, to sit down to it." Cock 
upon this came into the room I was sitting in, 
and after looking very earnestly at me, said, 



THE SPIRIT OF BVNCLE. 229 

F Your servant, Sir." I told him I was his most 
humble, and right glad to meet with a gentleman 
for society in that lone place. I immediately be- 
gan a story of a cock and a bull, and made the 
old fellow grin now and then. I informed him 
among other things, that I was travelling to 
Westmoreland, to look after some estates I had 
there, but must hurry back to London very soon, 
for my wife was within a few weeks of her time. 
" You are a married man then, Sir/' he replied. 
" Yes, indeed, and so supremely blessed with the 
charms and perfections, the fondness and obe- 
dience of a wife, that I would not be unmarried 
for all the world : few men living so happy as 
I am in the nuptial state." — Here dinner was 
brought in, and, to save the old gentleman trou- 
ble, I would cut up the fowl. I helped him plen- 
tifully to a slice of the breast, and the tips of 
the wings, and picked out for him the tenderest 
greens. I was as complaisant as it was possible, 
and drank his health many times. The bottle after 
dinner I put about pretty freely, and told my old 
gentleman, if affairs ever brought him up to Lon- 
don, I should be glad to see him at my house in 
Golden-square, the very next door to Sir John 
Heir's ; or, if I could be of any service to him 
there, he would oblige me very much by letting 



230 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

me know in what way. In short, I so buttered 
him with words, and filled him with fowl and wine, 
that he seemed well pleased, especially when he 
found there was nothing to pay, as I informed 
him it was my own dinner I had bespoke, and 
dined with double pleasure in having the satis- 
faction of his most agreeable company. He was 
a fine politician, I said, and talked extremely 
well of the government and the times : that I 
had received more true knowledge from his just 
notions, than from all I had read of men and 
things, or from conversing with any one. The 
glass during this time was not long still, but in 
such toasts as I found were grateful to his heart, 
I drank brimmers as fast as opportunity served ; 
and he pledged me and cottoned in a very divert- 
ing way. He grew very fond of me at last, and 
hoped I would spare so much time, as to come 
and dine with him the next day. This honour 
I assured him I would do myself, and punctually 
be with him at his hour. He then rode off, brim- 
full, and I walked out to consider of this affair. 
But before I proceed any farther in my story, I 
must give a description of this man. 

Cock, the old lawyer and guardian, was a low 
man, al)Out four feet eight inches, very broad, and 
near seventy years old. He was humped behind 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 231 

to an enormous degree, and his belly, as a vast 
flasket of garbage, projected monstrously before. 
He had the most hanging look I have ever seen. 
His brows were prodigious, and frowning in a 
shocking manner ; his eyes very little, and above 
an inch within his head : his nose hooked like a 
buzzard, wide nostrils like a horse, and his mouth 
sparrow T . In this case was a mind quite cunning, 
in the worst sense of the word, acute, artful, de- 
signing, and base. There was not a spark of 
honour or generosity in his soul. 

How to circumvent this able one, and deliver 
the two beauties from his oppressive power, was 
the question : it seemed almost impossible : but 
I resolved to do my best. This I told Clancy, 
and requested, as I w r as to dine with Cock the 
next day, that he would be there in the morn- 
ing, on some pretence or other, and let the 
ladies know I offered them my service, without 
any other view than to do them good ; and if they 
accepted it, to inform me by a note, slipped into 
my hand when they saw T me, that if they could di- 
rect me w 7 hat to do, I would execute it at any ha- 
zard; or, let them hint the least particular that 
might have any tendency to their freedom in some 
time to come, though it were three months off, 
and I would wait for the moment, and study to 



232 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

improve the scheme. This my landlord very 
carefully acquainted them with, at the time I 
mentioned ; and by two o'clock I was at Cock's 
house to see these beauties, and know what they 
thought of the service offered them. The old man 
received me with more civility than I thought he 
would do when he was sober, and had, what my 
landlord told me was a very rare thing in his 
house, a good dinner that day. Just as it was 
brought in, the ladies entered, two charming crea- 
tures indeed, and made me very low courtesies, 
while their eyes declared the sense they had of 
the good I intended them. Cock said, " These 
are my nieces, Sir ;" and as soon as I had saluted 
them, we sat down to table. The eldest carved, 
and helped me to the best the board afforded ; 
and, young as they were, they both shewed by 
their manner, and the little they said, that they 
were women of sense and breeding. They re- 
tired a few minutes after dinner, and the young- 
est contrived, in going off, to give me a billet in 
an invisible manner. I then turned to Cock en- 
tirely, heard him abuse the government in non- 
sense and falsehoods; and, after we had drunk and 
talked for better than an hour, took my leave of 
him very willingly, to read the following note. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 233 

" SIR, 

" As you can have nothing in view but our hap- 
piness in your most generous offer of assistance, 
we have not words to express our grateful sense 
of the intended favour. What is to be done 
upon the occasion, as yet we cannot imagine, 
as we are so confined and watched, and the 
doors of the house locked and barred in such a 
manner every night, that a cat could not get out 
at any part of them. You shall hear from us 
however soon, if possible, to some purpose; and 
in the mean time we are, 

" SIR, 

M Your ever obliged servants, 

" M. T. 
" A. L." 

What to do then I could not tell ; but, as I rode 
back, I consulted with my lad OTinn, who was a 
very extraordinary young man, and asked him 
what observations he had made on the servants 
and place. He said, he had tried the depth of 
the water in the moat all round, and found it 
fordable, at one angle, waist high, and abou 
two feet broad the rock he trod on. He had 
stripped, and walked it over, to be sure of the 
thing. As to the people, he fancied there was 



234 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

one young man, a labourer by the year under the 
gardener, who would, for a reasonable reward for 
losing his place, be aiding in the escape of the 
ladies ; for he talked with pity of them, and with 
great severity of his master : that if I pleased, he 
would sound this man, and let me know more in 
relation to him : that if he would be concerned, 
he could very easily carry the ladies on his back 
across the water, as he was a tall man, and then 
we might take them behind us to what place we 
pleased : or, if it was not safe trusting this man, 
for fear of telling his master, in hopes of more 
money on that side, then he would himself en- 
gage to bring the ladies and their clothes over on 
his own back, with wetting only their legs, if they 
could be at the water-side some hour in the night. 
This was not bad, to be sure ; but I was afraid to 
trust the man ; for, if he should inform old Cock 
of the thing, they would be confined to their 
chambers, and made close prisoners for the time 
to come. It was better therefore to rely entirely 
upon O'Finn, if they could get into the garden in 
the night. 

In answer, then, to another letter I had from the 
ladies by my landlord's daughter the next morn- 
ing, in which they lamented the apparent impos- 
sibility of an escape, I let them know immedi- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUMCLE. 235 

ately the state of the water, and desired to be in- 
formed what they thought of the gardener's man ; 
or, if he would not do, could they at any particu- 
lar hour get to that angle of the moat I named, to 
be brought over on my man's back, and then im- 
mediately ride off behind us on pillions, which 
should be prepared. — Their answer was, that they 
dared not trust any of Mr. Cock's men, but 
thought my own servant would do, and the 
scheme reasonable and seemingly safe, if they 
could get out. They gave me a million of thanks 
for my amazing care of them, and called the im- 
mortal powers to witness the high sense they had 
of their unutterable obligation to me. 

Waiting then for them, I stayed at the little inn 
three days longer, and at last received a billet to 
let me know, that at twelve o'clock that night, 
which was the sixth of June, they could, by an 
accident that had happened, be at the appointed 
place, and ready to go wherever I pleased. To a 
minute my man and I were there, and in a few 
moments, OTinn brought them and their clothes 
over safe. In an instant after they were behind 
us, and we rode away as fast as we could. Six 
hours we travelled without stopping, and in that 
time had gone about thirty miles. We breakfast- 
ed very gaily at our inn, and when the horses had 



236 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

rested a couple of hours, we set out again, and 
rode till three in the afternoon, when we baited at 
a lone house in a valley, called Straveret Vale, 
which had every rural charm that can be found in 
the finest part of Juan Fernandes. A young cou- 
ple, vastly civil, kept here a small clean public 
house, the sign of the Pilgrim, on the very margin 
of a very pretty river; and the plain things they 
had were as good as we could desire. Their bread, 
their drink, their fowl, their eggs, their butter, 
cheese, vegetables, and bacon, were excellent; 
and as they had good beds, I thought we could 
not do better than lie by for two or three days in 
this sweet place, till it was determined where the 
ladies should fix. We were at least sixty miles 
from old Cock's house, and in an obscurity that 
would conceal us from any pursuers ; for we had 
kept the cross-roads and by-ways, and were on 
the confines of Westmoreland. Here then we 
agreed to rest for a little time. In reality, it was 
just as I pleased. The ladies were all acknow- 
ledgment for what I did to deliver them, and all 
submission to my direction. They had each of 
them thirty guineas in their purses, as they shew- 
ed me; but what to do after that was gone, or 
where to go while it lasted, to be in safety, they 
could not tell. 



1HE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE, 237 

The affair perplexed me very much, and I turn- 
ed it a thousand ways, without being able to set- 
tle it as I would. I had two young heiresses on 
my hands, who wanted more than a year of being 
of age, and I must support them, and place them 
in some spot of decency, security, and peace, 
since I had gone thus far; or I had injured them 
greatly, instead of serving them, in bringing them 
from their guardian's house. This took up all my 
thoughts for three days. I concealed, however, my 
uneasiness from them, and endeavoured to make 
the house and place quite pleasing to them. I 
kept up a cheerfulness and gaiety, and we sat 
down with joy and pleasure to breakfast, dinner, 
and supper. Within doors, we played at cards, 
we sung, and I entertained them with my German 
flute. Abroad, we walked, fished, and some- 
times I rowed them up the river in a boat the 
man of the house had. The whole scheme was 
really delightful, and as the girls had great quick- 
ness and vivacity, and were far from being igno- 
rant, considering their few years, I could have 
wished it was possible to stay there much longer : 
but it was no place for them, and I was obliged 
to call at Clay tor in a little time. I could not 
forget my promise to the lovely Miss Spence. 



238 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

My honour was engaged, and there was no time 
to lose. It is true, if I had not been engaged, 
I might immediately have married either the 
beautiful Miss Tilston, or the more beautiful 
Miss Llandsoy, then become my wards ; but as 
they were minors, if such a wife died under age, 
I could be no gainer, and might have children to 
maintain without any fortune. All these things 
sat powerfully on my spirits, and I was obliged at 
last to make the following declaration to the 
ladies ; which I did the third day after dinner. 

" Miss Tilston, Miss Llandsoy, I am sensible 
you have too high an opinion of what I have 
done to serve you, and think there is more merit 
in it than there really is ; for a man of any gene- 
rosity and ability would, I imagine, do all that 
was possible to deliver two young ladies of your 
charms and perfections from the slavery and 
misery your guardian kept you in. I am likewise 
sure you believe I would do every thing in my 
power to secure your happiness, and give you the 
possession of every blessing of time. I honour, 
I admire, I regard you both to a high degree ; 
and if I were some powerful genius, I would 
crown your lives with stable felicity and glory. 
But nature, ladies, has irrevocably fixed limits, 
beyond which we cannot pass, and my sphere of 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 239 

action is far from being large. My fortune is 
not very great, and thereby prevents my being 
so useful a friend to you as I would willingly be. 
However, though it is not in my power to do 
according to my inclination, in regard to your 
case, and with security place you in some station 
fit for your rank and worth, yet I can bring 
you to a spot of tranquillity, and in still life ena- 
ble you to live without perplexity or care of any 
kind. You shall have peace and little, and may 
perhaps hereafter say, you have enjoyed more 
real happiness, for the time you had occasion to 
reside there, than you could find in the tumult, 
pomp, and grandeur of the world." 

Here I gave the ladies an account of Orton 
Lodge, in the northern extremity of Westmore- 
land, where I had lived a considerable time, told 
them the condition it was in, the goods, the 
books, the liquors, and other necessaries and 
conveniences that were there, and if, in that 
charming romantic spot, where no mortal could 
come to hurt them, they could bear to live for a 
while, I would settle them there, and get a man- 
servant to work in the garden, and a couple of 
maids. I would likewise procure for them two 
cows, a few lambs, some poultry, and corn, and 
seeds for the ground : in short, that they should 



240 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

have every thing requisite in such a place : I 
would return to them as soon as possible ; I 
would write to them often, directing my letters 
to the nearest town, to be called for by their 
man. " What do you say, ladies, to this proposal ? 
In London it is not possible for you to be ; at a 
farm-house you might have no satisfaction ; and 
any where that was known and frequented, you 
may be liable to discovery, as Cock, your guar- 
dian, will inquire every where; and if he hears 
of you, you will be carried home most certainly 
to his dismal habitation, and be used ten times 
worse than before. What do you think then of 
this scheme ? " 

"Sir,* they both replied, "you are to us a sub- 
altern power, by Heaven sent to deliver us from 
misery, and secure our happiness in this world, 
We have not words to express the gratitude of 
our souls for this farther instance of your good- 
ness in the offer you make us ; nor can it ever 
be in our power to make you the return it 
deserves. You will be pleased to accept our 
grateful thanks, and, all we have to add at present, 
our prayers for your preservation and health. 
Conduct us, we beseech you, immediately to 
that sweet spot of peace you have described." 

This being agreed on, the next thing to be 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 241 

done was to get two horses for the ladies, for 
mine were not able to carry double any farther, 
if there had been a turnpike road before us ; 
then up the mountains we were to go, where no 
double horse could travel ; and when they were 
at the Lodge, they would want horses to ride 
sometimes, or to remove, if the necessity of their 
case should happen to require it. To my landlord, 
therefore, I applied upon the occasion, and he 
very quickly got for me not only two pretty 
beasts, but a young labouring man, and two 
country girls to wait upon the ladies. I then sent 
to the next town for a couple of side-saddles, 
gave the servants directions to go to the Rev. 
Mr. Fleming's house, to wait there till they heard 
from me, and then we set out for Orton Lodge. 
Two days we spent in travelling there, feeding 
on cold provisions we had w 7 ith us, and lying a 
night on the fern of the mountains. The second 
evening we arrived at the Lodo-e. There I found 
every thing safe, and the place as I had left it. 
I opened my various storehouses, to the surprise 
of the young ladies, and brought them many good 
things ; biscuits, potted char, potted black-cocks, 
sweetmeats, and liquors of various kinds. O'Finn 
likewise got us a dish of trouts for supper ; and 
the two beauties and I sat down with cheerful- 

M 



242 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

ness to our table. Vastly amazed they were at 
all they saw. Every thing was so good, and the 
wild charms of the place so pleasing, that they 
could not but express the transports they were 
in at their present situation. The whole, they 
said, was charming as enchantment, and in lan- 
guage there was not a force sufficient to express 
their grateful sentiments upon the occasion. 
This gave me much pleasure, and till the end of 
June I lived a very happy life with these fine 
young creatures. They did all that was possible 
to shew their esteem and gratitude. Exclusive 
of their amazing fine faces and persons, they were 
ingenious, gay, and engaging, and made every 
minute of time delightful. If I had not been en- 
gaged to Miss Spence, I should certainly have sat 
down in peace with these two young ladies, and, 
with them connected, have looked upon Orton 
Lodge as the Garden of Eden. They were both 
most charming women. Miss Llandsoy was a 
perfect divinity. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 243 



CHAPTER XVII. 



When Love's well timed, 'tis not a fault to love; 
The strong, the brave, the virtuous, and the wise, 
Sink in the soft captivity together. 

1 he first of July, just as the day was breaking, 
I mounted my horse, and went again from Orton 
Lodge; and after a pleasant journey arrived safe 
at Harrogate again, and there found the follow- 
ing letter, of an old date, left for me : — 

Sm, 

As you told me you intended to go to London 
soon, and business obliges me to ride up to the 
capital a few weeks hence, I should take it as a 
great favour if you would make Westmoreland 
your way, and through Lancashire to Chester 
road, that I may have your protection and guid- 
ance in this long journey, 

" I am, Sir, 

Cleator, six miles to " Your humble servant, 

the south-west of 
Wharton Hall. " MARIA SpENCE. 

m 2 



244 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

This letter surprised me. "Yes, dear creature/' 
I said, " I will make Westmoreland my way to 
London. " At four in the morning I mounted my 
horse, and rode to Cleator. 

When I came to Miss Spence's door, I sent in 
my name by a servant, and immediately Maria 
came out herself to welcome me to Cleator. She 
told me she was glad to see me, and extremely 
obliged to me for riding so many miles out of my 
way, to travel up with her to London ; but as she 
had never been farther from home than Harro- 
gate, and was afraid of going such a journey by 
herself, she wrote to me, in hopes curiosity, and 
my great complaisance to the ladies, might induce 
me to take Cleator in my way to town, though so 
much about : but as so many weeks had passed 
since she came away from the Wells, and she 
heard nothing of me, she had laid aside all expec- 
tation of my coming. This made the visit the 
more pleasing. 

In answer to this I replied, that if I had re- 
ceived her letter sooner, I would have been with 
her long before : but that was not possible, as I 
had been at a little lodge and farm of mine in the 
northern extremity of Westmoreland, to settle 
things there, and returned to Harrogate but 
vcsterday, when I had the honour of receiving her 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 245 

letter, and, upon reading it, set out at day-break 
this morning to kiss her hand, and execute any 
commands. Here an excellent hot supper was 
brought in, and after it, Miss Spence said, she was 
surprised to hear I was an inhabitant of Westmore- 
land, as she had never heard of me in the north, 
nor seen me at Harrogate before the other day. 

I told her I was a stranger in the county, and 
by a wonderful accident, as I travelled a few 
years ago out of curiosity, and in search of a 
friend, up Stainmore hills, I became possessed of 
a lodge I had on the northern edge of Westmore- 
land, where I lived a considerable time, and once 
imagined I should never leave it, as it is the most 
romantic and the most beautiful solitude in the 
world. 

While I was giving this short relation, Miss 
Spence seemed greatly amazed, and her uncle, an 
, old clergyman, who had looked with great atten- 
tion at me, hoped it would be no offence to ask 
me how old I was. 

". None at all, Sir," I replied ; " I want some 
months of twenty-six ; and though I dance and 
rattle at the Wells, and am now going up to Lon- 
don, where all is tumult and noise, yet my passion 
for still-life is so great, that I prefer the most si- 
lent retreat to the pleasures and splendours of the 



246 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

greatest town. If it was in my power to live as 
I please, I would pass my days unheard of and 
unknown, at Orton Lodge, (so my little silent farm 
is called) near the southern confines of Cumber- 
land, with some bright partner of my soul. I am 
sure I should think it a complete paradise to live 
in that distant solitude with a woman of Miss 
Spence's form and mind." 

" But tell me, I request,"- Maria said, " how did 
you get to the confines of Westmoreland over 
Stainmore hills? and what was that accident that 
put you in possession of Orton Lodge ? It must 
be a curious account, I am sure." 

"This," I replied, "you shall hear to-morrow 
morning after breakfast ; there is not time for it 
now. All I can say at present is, that it was love 
kept me among the mountains for some years, and 
if the heaven-born maid (vastly like you, Miss 
Spence, she was) had not by the order of heaven 
been removed to the regions of immortality and 
day, I should not have left the solitude, nor 
would you ever have seen me at Harrogate; but 
mutable is the condition of mortals, and we are 
blind to futurity and the approaches of fate. 
This led me over the vast mountains of Stainmore, 
enabled me to cross the amazing fells of West- 
moreland, and brought me to that spot where I 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 247 

had the honour and happiness of becoming ac- 
quainted with Miss Spence." Thus did we chat 
till eleven, and retired to our chambers. 

Early the next morning I arose and walked 
out, to look at the place. Cleator is one of the 
finest spots that can be seen in a wild romantic 
country. The natural views are wonderful, and 
afford the eye vast pleasure. The charming 
prospects of different kinds, from the edges of 
the mountains, are very fine. — The winding hills, 
pretty plains, vast precipices, hanging woods, 
deep vales, the easy falls of water in some places, 
and in others cataracts tumbling over rocks, — 
form all together the most beautiful and delight- 
ful scenes. All the decorations of art are but foils 
and shadows to such natural charms. 

In the midst of these scenes, and in a theatrical 
space of about two hundred acres, which the hand 
of Nature cut, or hollowed out, on the side of a 
mountain, stands Cleator-Lodge, a neat and pret- 
ty mansion. Near it were groves of various trees, 
and the water of a strong spring murmured from 
the front down to a lake at the bottom of the hill. 

This was Miss Spence's country-house. Here 
the wise and excellent Maria passed the best part 
of her time, and never went to any public place 
but Harrogate once a year. In reading, riding, 



248 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

fishing, and some visits to and from three or four 
neighbours now and then, her hours were happily 
and usefully employed. History and mathema- 
tics she took great delight in, and had a very sur- 
prising knowledge in the last. She was another 
of those ladies I met with in my travels, who un- 
derstood that method of calculation, beyond which 
nothing farther is to be hoped or expected : I mean 
the arithmetic of fluxions. 

With astonishment I beheld her. I was but a 
young beginner, or learner, in respect of her, 
though I had applied so close to fluxions, after I 
had learned algebra, that my head was often rea- 
dy to split with pain ; nor had I the capacity, at 
that time, to comprehend thoroughly the process 
of several operations she performed with beauty, 
simplicity, and charming elegance. Admirable 
Maria ! no one have I ever seen that was her su- 
perior in this science. And does not this demon- 
strate, that the faculties and imagination of wo- 
men's minds, properly cultivated, may equal those 
of the greatest men ? And since women have the 
same improvable minds as the male part of the 
species, why should they not be cultivated by 
the same method? Why should reason be left 
to itself in one of the sexes, and be disciplined 
with so much care in the other ? Learning and 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 249 

knowledge are perfections in us, not as we are 
men, but as we are rational creatures, in which 
order of beings the female world is upon the same 
level with the male. We ought to consider in 
this particular, not what is the sex, but what is 
the species they belong to. And if women of for-' 
tune w r ere so considered, and educated according- 
ly, I am sure the world v/ould soon be the better 
for it It would be so far from making them those 
ridiculous mortals Moliere has described under 
the character of learned ladies, that it would ren- 
der them more agreeable and useful, and enable 
them, by the acquisition of true sense and know- 
ledge, to be superior to gaiety and spectacle, dress 
and dissipation. They would see that the sove- 
reign good can be placed in nothing else but in 
rectitude of conduct ; as that is agreeable to our 
nature ; conducive to well-being ; accommodate 
to all places and times ; durable, self-derived, in- 
deprivable; and of consequence, that on rational 
religion only they can rest the sole of the foot, and 
the sooner they turn to it, the happier here and 
hereafter they shall be. Long before the power 
of sense, like the setting sun, is gradually forsak- 
ing them, — that power on which the pleasures of 
the world depend, — they would, by their acquired 
understanding and knowledge, see the folly of 
m 5 



250 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE, 

pleasure; and that they were born not only to vir- 
tue, friendship, honesty, and faith, but to religion, 
piety, adoration, and a generous surrender of their 
minds to the Supreme Cause. They would be 
glorious creatures then. Every family would be 
happy. 

But as to Miss Spence, this knowledge, with a 
faultless person, and a modesty more graceful 
than her exquisite beauty, were not the things 
that principally charmed me ; nor was it her con- 
versation, than which nothing could be more 
lively and delightful; nor her fine fortune. It 
was her manners. She was a Christian, and con- 
sidered benevolence and integrity as the essen- 
tials of her religion. She was extremely chari- 
table to others, and considered conscious virtue as 
the greatest ornament and most valuable treasure 
of human nature. Excellent Maria ! 

With this young lady, and her two servants, 
(her footman and her woman,) I went up to Lon- 
don. We set out from Cleator the thirty-first 
day of July, and without meeting with any mis- 
chiefs in all that long way, came safe to London. 
We were nine days on the road ; and as the wea- 
ther was fine, and our horses excellent, we had a 
charming journey. My companion was so agree- 
able, that had it been two thousand miles from 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 251 

Cleator to London, instead of two hundred and 
seventy-two, I should still have thought it too 
short. Her conversation was so various and fine,, 
that no way could seem tiresome and tedious to 
him that travelled with her. Her notions and 
remarks were ever lively and instructive , It was 
vast pleasure to hear her, even on the driest and 
most abstruse subjects, on account of the admira- 
tion her discourse raised, and the fine knowledge 
it communicated to one who understood her. 

On the 10th of August we got safe to London ; 
and the consequence of the journey was, that the 
last day of the same month, I had the honour and 
happiness of being married to this young lady. 



252 THE SPIRIT OF BUSCLE. 



CHAPTER XVIII. 



I am thinking with myself every day, says one of the philoso- 
phers, how many things are dear to me ; and after I have consi- 
dered them as temporary and perishable, I prepare myself, from 
that very minute, to bear the loss of them without weakness. 

Cleanthes. 



Wise is the man, who prepares both for his own 
death and the death of his friends : who makes 
use of the foresight of troubles, so as to abate 
the uneasiness of them, and puts in practice this 
resolution of the philosopher. I thought of this 
the morning I married the beautiful ingenious 
Miss Spence, and determined if I lost her, to 
make the great -affliction produce the peaceable 
fruits of righteousness. The man must feel, in 
such a case ; the Christian will submit. Before 
the'end of six months, she died; and I mourned 
the loss with a decree of sorrow due to so much 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 253 

excellence, endearment, and delight. My com- 
plaint was bitter, in proportion to the desires of 
nature. But, as nature says, Let this cup pass: 
grace says, Let thy will be done. If the flower 
of all my comfort was gone, the glory departed ! 
yet thy glory is, O man, to do the will of God, 
and bear the burthen he lays upon thee. Let na- 
ture, grace, and time, do their part to close the 
wound, and let not ignorance impeach the wis- 
dom of the Most High. " The cup which my 
father hath given me, shall I not drink?" I will. 
I will not quarrel with Providence, In short, I 
resigned; and not long after I had buried this ad- 
mirable woman, who died at her seat in West- 
moreland, I went into the world again, to relieve 
my mind, and try my fortune once more. What 
happened there I will report, when I have related 
the extraordinary case of my wife, Miss Spence, 
and the four physicians I had to attend her. It is 
a very curious thing. 

This young lady was seized with that fatal dis- 
temper called a malignant fever : something fo- 
reign to nature got into her blood, by a cold, and 
other accidents, it may be, and the luctus or strife 
to get clear thereof became very great. The effer- 
vescence, or perturbation, was very soon so vio- 
lent as to shew that it not only endangered, but 



254 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE* 

would quickly subvert the animal fabric, unless 
the blood was speedily dispersed, and nature got 
the victory by an exclusion of the noxious parti- 
cles. The thirst, the dry tongue, the coming 
causus, were terrible, and gave me too much rea- 
son to apprehend this charming woman would 
sink under the conflict. To save her, if possi- 
ble, I sent immediately for a great physician, Dr. 
Sharp, a man who talked with great fluency of 
medicine and diseases. 

This gentleman told me, the alkaline was the 
root of fevers, as well as of other distempers; and 
therefore, to take off the effervescence of the blood 
in the ebullitions of it, to incide the viscous hu- 
mour, to drain the tartarous salts from the kid- 
neys, to allay the preternatural ferment, and to 
brace up the relaxed tones, he ordered orange and 
vinegar in whey, and prescribed spirit of sulphur 
and vitriol, the cream, crystals, and vitriolate tar- 
tar in other vehicles. If any thing can relieve, 
it must be plenty of acid. In acidis posita est omnis 
curatio. But these things gave no relief to the 
sufferer. 

I sent then in all haste for Dr. Hough, a man 
of great reputation; and he differed so much in 
opinion from Sharp, that he called an acid the 
chief enemy. It keeps up the luctus or struggle, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 255 

and, if not expelled very quickly, will certainly 
prove fatal. Our sheet-anchor then must be the 
testacea, in vehicles of mineral-water; and accord- 
ingly he ordered the absorbent powders to con- 
flict with this acidity, the principal cause of all 
diseases. Pearl and coral, crab's eyes, and crab's 
claws, he prescribed in divers forms ; but they 
were of no use to the sick woman. She became 
worse every hour. 

Dr. Pym was next called in, a great practi- 
tioner, and learned man. His notion of a fever 
was quite different from the opinions of Sharp and 
Hough. He maintained that a fever was a poi- 
sonous ferment or venom, which seized on the 
animal spirits : it breaks and smites them ; and 
unless by alexipharmics the spirits can be enabled 
to gain a victory in a day or two, this ferment 
will bring on what the Greeks call a synochus, 
that is, a continual fever. In that state, the 
venom holds fast the animal spirits; will not let 
them expand, or disengage themselves, and then 
they grow enraged, and tumultuating, are hur- 
ried into a state of explosion, and blow up the fa- 
bric. Hence the inflammatory fever, according 
to the diverse indoles of the venom ; and when 
the contagious miasms arrive at their highest de- 
gree, the malignant fever ariseth. The spirits are 



256 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

then knocked down, and the marks of the enemy's 
weapons, the spots, Sec. appear. " This (the doctor 
continued,) is the case of your lady, and therefore 
the thing to be done is, to make the malignant 
tack about to the mild, and produce an extinc- 
tion of the ferment, and relief of the symptoms. 
This I endeavour to do by alexipharmics and ve- 
sicatories, and by subduing the poison by the 
bark and the warmer antidotes." Thus did my 
doctor marshal his animal spirits, and fight them 
against the enemy venom, to great disadvantage. 
If his talk was not romance, it was plain his spi- 
rits were routed, and venom was getting the day. 
His alexipharmics and warm antidotes were good 
for nothing. The malady increased. 

This being the case, I sent again in haste for a 
fourth doctor, a man of greater learning than the 
other three, and therefore, in opinion, opposite, 
and against their management of the fever. This 
great man was Dr. Frost. He was a mechanician, 
and affirmed that the solid parts of the human 
body are subjected to the rules of geometry, and 
the fluids to the hydrostatics ; and therefore, to 
keen the machine in right order, that is, in a state 
of health, an equilibrium must be maintained, or 
restored, if destroyed. The balance must not turn 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 257 

to one side or the other. To restore sanity in 
acute cases, and in chronic too, our business is 
to prevent the vessels being elevated or depressed 
beyond the standard of nature : when either hap- 
pens, the division of the blood is increased, the 
motion is augmented, and so produce a fever. 
There cannot be an inordinate elevation of the 
oily or fiery parts of the blood, till the vessels 
vibrate above the standard of nature. 

In a slight fever, the blood increases but little 
above the balance ; but if more than one day, it 
turns to a synochus, which is but the same fever 
augmented beyond the balance of nature. This 
turns to a putrid synochus, and this to a causus. 
" This is the case of your lady. From an elevated 
contraction," the doctor continued, to my amaze- 
ment, " her blood obtains a greater force and mo- 
tion ; hence greater division, hence an increase of 
quantity and fluidity ; and thus from greater divi- 
sion, motion, and quantity increased, arises that 
heat and thirst, with the other concomitant symp- 
toms of her fever ; for the blood dividing faster 
than it can be detached through the perspira- 
tory emunctories of the skin, is the immediate 
cause of the heart's preternatural beating : and 
this preternatural division of the blood arises 



258 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

from the additional quantity of obstructed per- 
spirable matter, added to the natural quantity of 
the blood. 

" Things being so," the doctor went on, " and 
the fever rising by the blood's dividing faster than 
can be detached by the several emunctories, and 
this from an elevation of the solids above the 
balance, we must then strive to take off the 
tension of the solids, and subtract the cause. 
This makes me begin in a manner quite contrary 
to the other physicians, and I doubt not but I 
shall soon get the better of the fury and orgasm ; 
make an alteration in the black scabrous tongue, 
and by according with the modus of nature, throw 
forth the matter of the disease. I will enable na- 
ture to extricate herself. I hope to disentangle 
her from the weight." 

Thus did this very learned man enlarge ; and 
while he talked of doing wonders, the dry and 
parched skin, the black and brushy tongue, the 
crusty fur upon the teeth, and all the signals of 
an incendium within, declared her dissolution very 
near. As the serum diminished fast, and the in- 
testine motion of the crassamentum increased, na- 
ture was brought to her last struggles. All the 
dismal harbingers of a general wreck appeared, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 259 

to give the by-standers notice of approaching 
death. She died the ninth day, by the igno- 
rance of four learned physicians ; who, by their 
vile prescriptions and bad management, killed 
one of the finest and most excellent women that 
ever lived. 



260 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER XIX. 



Thou attribute divine ! thou ray of God ! 

Immortal reason ! come, and with thee bring, 

In thy exulting train, invincible, 

The honest purpose, and the cheerful heart ; 

The joyful fancy, fill'd with images 

Of truth, of science, and of social love. 

There is no ground for fear, while we are good : 

Nature 's the nurse, and Providence the guide. 



Having lost my Maria, I went up to London, 
and on my way to the metropolis, dined at a 
pleasant village, not far from Nottingham, where 
I saw two gentlemen well worth mentioning. 
They were sitting in a room the waiter shewed 
me into, and had each of them a porringer of 
mutton broth. One of them seemed a little con- 
sumptive creature, about four feet six inches high, 
uncommonly thin, or rather exsiccated to a cuti- 
cle. His broth and bread, however, he supped up 
with some relish. He seemed to be past three- 
score. His name was Ribble. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 261 

The other was a young man, once very hand- 
some, tall, and strong, but so consumed and weak, 
that he could hardly speak or stir. His name 
was Richmond. He attempted to get down his 
broth, but not above a spoonful or two could he 
swallow. He appeared to me to be a dying 
man. 

While I beheld things with astonishment, the 
servant brought in dinner, a pound of rump- 
steaks, and a quart of green peas ; two cuts of 
bread, a tankard of strong beer, and a pint of 
port wine. With a fine appetite, I soon dispatched 
my mess ; and over my wine, to help digestion, 
began to sing the following lines : 

Tell me, I charge you, O ye sylvan swains, 
Who range the mazy grove or flowery plains, 
Beside what fountain, in what breezy bower, 
Reclines my charmer in the noon- tide hour ? 

Soft, I adjure you, by the skipping fawns, 
By the fleet roes, that bound along the lawns, 
Soft tread, ye virgin daughters of the grove, 
Nor with your dances wake my sleeping love. 

Come, Rosalind, O come, and infant flowers 
Shall bloom and smile, and form their charms by yours; 
By you the lily shall her white compose, 
Your blush shall add new* blushes to the rose. 



262 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Hark ! from yon bowers what airs soft warbled play ! 
My soul takes wing to meet th' inchanting lay. 
Silence, ye nightingales ! attend the voice ! 
While thus it warbles, all your songs are noise. 

See ! from the bower a form majestic moves, 
And smoothly gliding, shines along the groves ; 
Say, comes a goddess from the golden spheres ? 
A goddess comes, or Rosalind appears. 

While I was singing these lines, and all the 
while I was at dinner, the gentlemen looked with 
wonder at me, and at last, as soon as I was 
silent, old Ribble expressed himself in the follow- 
ing words. "You are the most fortunate of mor- 
tals, to be sure, Sir. A happy man indeed ! You 
seem to have health and peace, contentment and 
tranquillity, in perfection. You are the more 
striking, when such spectacles as my cousin 
Richmond, pointing to the dying gentleman in 
the room, and I, are in contrast before you. 1 
will tell you our stories, Sir, in return for your 
charming song; and hope what I am going to 
say may be of service to you, as you are coming 
on, and we go off from this world. 

M My kinsman there, the dying Richmond, in 
that chair, was once a Sampson, and the hand- 
somest man of his time, though the remains of 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 263 

beauty or strength cannot now be traced. He 
has brought himself by a dissipated life to what 
you see ; to a state that eludes all the arts of 
medicine. He has an aggravated cough, and with 
the utmost difficulty he respires. A stretching 
pain racks him if he lies on either side. His hair is 
fallen off, and his nails, you see, are dead-colour- 
ed, and hooked. His countenance, you observe, 
is Hippocratical, the very image of death: his 
face a dead pale, his eyes sunk, his nose sharp, his 
cheeks hollow, his temples fallen, and his whole 
body thin like a skeleton. What a figure now 
is this once curled darling of the ladies ! It was 
done, good Sir, by the hand of intemperance. 

"As to myself," Ribble continued, "I brought a 
consumption into the world with me, and by art 
have supported myself under it. I was born with 
the sharp shoulders you see, which are called 
pterogoides, or wing-like, and had a contracted 
thorax, and long chest, a thin and long neck, a 
flaccid tone of all the parts about the breast, and 
a very flabby contexture of the muscles all over 
my body : but nevertheless, by a strict temper- 
ance all my life, I have lived to the present 
period. I also contrived more useful hours to 
myself than the strong and young can enjoy 
in their continued scenes of dissipation and riot. 



264 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



In me is seen the wonderful effect of rule and 
sobriety. I am now past fifty several years, 
notwithstanding my very weak and miserable 
constitution; and by attending to nature, and 
never indulging in gratification or excess, am 
not only able to live without pain, but to divert 
life by experimental philosophy. (Ribble went 
on) — I came down to this pleasant place, chiefly 
for the benefit of poor Richmond, my kinsman, 
(whom you see with his eyes shut before you, 
the very picture of death,) and also with a view 
to do some good to myself, as it is the finest air 
in the world. I took a house in the village, to 
live the more easily, as the lodging-houses are 
all crowded here ; and resolved to amuse the days 
I have left in cultivating the science of chemistry. 
To this purpose, I made for myself a laboratory, 
and about a year ago, began to employ my ves- 
sels and furnaces in various processes. A vast 
variety of entertaining things have since occur- 
red, and my life is thereby made agreeable and 
pleasing, though, to look at my poor frame, you 
would think me incapable of any satisfactions ." 

Leaving Ribble the chemist, and his dying 
friend, I mounted my horse, and being deep in re- 
flection, I trotted on for several hours without 
minding the road, and arrived as the sun was 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 265 

setting, in a deep and melancholy vale, through 
which a pleasant river ran, that by the murmur 
of its streams seemed to be marked out for the 
rendezvous of the thoughtful, who love the deep 
recesses, and embowering woods, with the soft 
thrillings of gliding streams, as much as the 
sprightly court the gayest scenes. In this sweet 
spot I found a pretty country-house, and, not 
knowing where I was, rode up to the door to 
inquire my way. A gentleman, who seemed to 
be about forty, immediately appeared, informed 
me I was at a considerable distance from any 
town, and as it was near ten, told me I had best 
rest with him that night, and I was most heartily 
welcome. I accepted the kind invitation. He 
brought me into a decent room, and gave me a 
handsome meal. We had a couple of bottles 
after supper, talked of a thousand things, and 
then withdrew to wind up the machines. He 
would not let me stir the next morning, and after 
dinner we became well acquainted. Six days 
this gentleman prevailed with me to stay at his 
house, and then I left him with regret. He was 
so generous, so civil, and in every thing so 
agreeable, that I could not avoid admiring him, 
and regarding him to an extreme degree. His 
name was Monckton. 

N 



266 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Avery Monckton had seen the world when he 
was a young man, and by reading much, and 
thinking a great deal, had acquired an extensive 
knowledge and a deep penetration. In him the 
gentleman and the scholar were visible. He 
seemed superior to folly, and his philosophy ap- 
peared to be an assiduous examination of his 
ideas, fancies, and opinions, in order to render 
them true and just. His religion consisted in a 
cheerful submission to the divine pleasure, with 
respect to all things independent of us, or abso- 
lutely external to us ; and in a continued exer- 
tion of benevolence, in doing all the good he 
could. What the theology of sects was, and the 
notions of divines, he never minded. It was his 
opinion, that an active charity is the only thing 
that can liken and approve us to the original be- 
nevolent mind : and that it is reasonable to sub- 
mit to all his dispensations, since the providence 
of an infinitely perfect being must do all for the 
best in the whole. This was Avery Monckton, 
Esq. In his person he was tall, and very thin. 

This gentleman told me the following remark- 
able story relating to himself, on my asking him 
if he had ever been married? — "Yes, Sir," he re- 
plied : " when I was about five and twenty, a 
young lady came in my way, who had all the ex- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 267 

ternal charms that ever adorned a woman, and I 
thought her mind as perfect in goodness of every 
kind, as minds can be on this earth. I made my 
addresses to her, and with some difficulty per- 
suaded her to accept of a good jointure, and be a 
wife ; for she had got it into her head, that 
Christian perfection consisted in a virgin-life. I 
loved her to an extreme degree, and fancied my- 
self beyond mortals happy, as her fondness seem- 
ed equal to my passion, and she expressed it in a 
most transporting way. Three months passed on 
in this delightful manner, and I should have 
thought an age but minutes, if the scene was to 
have no change. But every thing must have an 
end in this poor state. Business called me one 
morning early into the city, and till it was late at 
night, I thought not to return : back, however, I 
was compelled to go for some papers I had for- 
got, and, designing to surprise agreeably my wife, 
came in by a key I had at the wash-house door, 
and unseen went softly up to my chamber, where 
I expected to find my beloved in a sweet sleep. 
Gently I touched the lock, and intended, as my 
charmer slumbered, to give this idol of my heart 
a kiss : but, as I opened the door without being 
heard, I saw a man by my bed-side, and my fond, 
faithful wife caressing him. Amazement seized 
n2 



268 THE SPIRIT OF EUNCLE. 

me ; but I was not in a rage : I only said, ' Is that 
Louisa I see ? ' and shut the door. Down stairs I 
went immediately, and out again the same way 
I came in. I had done with love for ever, and 
from that time never saw my wife more. A ship 
being to sail the next day for Constantinople, I 
went a passenger in it, and resolved to live 
abroad some years. 

" Six years I resided in Greece, and visited 
every curious place : four I spent in Asia Minor, 
and two in Italy and France. I diverted myself 
with noting down the extraordinary things I saw, 
and I purchased several fine antiquities by the 
way. When done, I came back to my country 
again ; and this little seat I now live at being to 
be sold, I bought it immediately, and have 
resided here ever since. My study, my garden, 
and my horse, divert me fully and finely every 
day. I have all I desire in this world, and reign 
more happily over my few subjects in this airy, 
silent, secret spot, than the greatest monarch can 
do on a throne. My people are only one young 
man, who is my gardener, my footman, and my 
groom, and two old women, my maids. These 
are ever attentive to my will, and by their good 
behaviour and management make my lodge as 
agreeable, and life as pleasing, as can be expect- 
ed in the system of things." 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 269 

Monckton's story pleased me much, and I won- 
dered greatly at his happy temper, when he saw 
his beloved wife caressing the man. " But did 
you ever hear what became of her after? And, 
faulty as she was, may there not be found an 
honest charming woman, to render your hours 
more delightful than study and contrivance can 
make them without a soft partner through life ? 
Come into the world with me, Sir, and I will en- 
gage to find out for you a mere primitive 
Christian of a woman, with all the beauties of 
body that Lucian gives his images." 

"You are very good, Sir," Monckton replied, 
" in offering to look out for another wife for me, 
and I thank you very heartily for your well-meant 
kindness ; but as I never inquired what became 
of my first wife from the morning I left her, and 
know only that she is dead, as her jointure has 
not been demanded for several years past ; so 
shall I never be concerned with a second. Per- 
haps there are some honest women in the world. 
I hope so ; but I have had enough of marriage. 
Besides, I think it time now to turn my thoughts 
a better way. In the forty-fifth year of my age, 
it cannot be weak to begin to consider the great 
change before me, and fix my hopes on a good 
remove into some better and happier region. If 



270 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

I was unfortunate with a wife when a young man, 
I have little reason to expect better days with 
one as age comes on. I might find myself again 
most sadly mistaken. But there can be no dis- 
appointment in making it the principal work of 
life, to prepare, in such a retirement as this, for 
that approaching hour, when we must submit to 
the power and tyranny of death and corruption. 
By this means the greatest happiness may be 
secured ; In every thing else there is uncertain- 
ty and vanity. 

" I do not say this by way of preaching, but 
that you may thereby have a truer idea of the 
man you chanced to find in a lone house on this 
vast common. Seven years have I now lived 
here, and in all that time have not been once in 
London : but sometimes I ride to a neighbouring 
village, and if on the road, or at an inn, I can 
pick up a sensible agreeable man, I love to dine 
with him, and drink a pint of wine. Such a man 
I frequently ride in quest of, and if he be entirely 
to my mind, (which is very rarely the case,) I 
invite him home with me, to pass at my lodge 
two or three days. Far then am I from being 
unsocial, though I live in solitude ; but I left the 
world because I was ill-used in it, and happen 
to think very differently from the generality of 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 271 

men/' Here Monckton ended his story ; and a 
little after, we parted. 

I rode for six hours without meeting with any 
thing remarkable ; but, as I baited about three 
o'clock at a lone inn, the situation of which was 
so fine in forest and water that I determined to 
go no farther that day, there arrived, a little after, 
a young lady, her maid, and two men-servants. 
They were all well mounted, and the lady's beast, 
in particular, as great a beauty of its kind as its 
mistress was among women. I thought I had 
seen the face before, and had been somewhere 
or other in her company ; but as it must be seve- 
ral years ago, and her face and person were a 
little altered, I could not immediately recollect 
her : but Finn, my lad, coming up to me, asked 
me, if I did not remember Miss Turner of Skels- 
more Vale? " Miss Turner!" I said : "to be sure, 
now I think, it is she; but this lady just arrived here 
is much fatter, and, if it be possible, something 
handsomer." " It is she, believe me," quoth Finn, 
" and you ought to wait upon her instantly," I 
went. It was Miss Turner, one of the beauties 
that adorn a gallery of pictures in the North, 
and who is with great truth in the following lines 
described, in a poem written on this collection 
of paintings : — 



272 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE* 

But see ! Emilia rises to the sight, 
In every virtue, in every beauty bright ! 
See those victorious eyes, that heavenly mien ! 
Behold her shine like Love's resistless Queen ! 
Thou fairest wonder of thy fairest kind ! 
By Heaven some image of itself designed ! 
As if in thee it took peculiar care, 
And form'd thee like some favourite seraph there ; 
But though thy beauty strikes the ravish'd sight, 
Thy virtue shines distinguishingly bright ! 
And all the graces of thy form combined, 
Yield to the charms of thy unblemish'd mind, 
Where all is spotless, gentle, and serene, 
One calm of life untouch'd by guilt or pain ! 
Could I in equal lays thy worth design, 
Or paint exalted merit such as thine ! 
To latest ages should thy name survive, 
And in my verse Emilia ever live ; 
The admiring world should listen to thy praise, 
And the fair portrait charm succeeding days. 

This lady knew me at once on my entering 
the room, and we dined together. She told me, 
her brother, my friend, died in Italy, on his re- 
turn home ; and Miss Jaquelot, her cousin and 
companion, was happily married ; and that being 
thus left alone, by these two accidents, she was 
going up to London, to reside in the world. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 273 

" Miss Turner," I said then, " as you are now 
your own mistress, I may with justice make my 
addresses, and tell you, that from the first hour I 
saw you, I was in love with you, and am so still : 
that if you will do me the honour to be my wife, 
I will make the best of husbands. I have now 
some fortune, and if you will allow, that an 
honest man is the best companion for an honest 
woman, let us marry in the country, and instead 
of going up to that noisy tumultuous place called 
London, retire. to some still delightful retreat, and 
there live, content with each other, as happy as 
it is possible for two young mortals to be in this 
lower hemisphere. What do you say, Miss 
Turner ?" 

" You shall have my answer, Sir, in a few days. 
But as to going up to London, I think I had best 
see it, since I am come so far. It may give me 
a new relish for still-life, and make the country 
seem more charming; than I thought it before. 
On the other hand, it may perhaps make me in 
love with the town, and put me out of conceit 
with the country. — In short, on second thoughts, 
I will not go up to the capital. I will return to 
Skelsmore Vale. I think so now : but how I 
may think in the morning, at present I do not 
know. In the mean time," Csesia continued, 
x 5 



274 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

" ring, if you please, for a pack of cards, and let 
us pass the evening in play." The cards were 
brought in, the game began, and before we had 
played many hours, I saw this dear charming 
creature was all my own. She sat before me, 
like blushing beauty in the picture. Early the 
next morning I sent Finn for father Fleming, and 
he was with me in a few days. The evening he 
arrived we were married. Man and wife we sat 
down to supper. 

Here the morose, the visionary, and the dunce, 
will again fall upon me, for marrying a fifth wife, 
so quickly after the decease of the fourth; who 
had not been three months in her grave : but my 
answer is, that a dead woman is no wife, and 
marriage is ever glorious. It is the institution of 
Heaven, a blessing to society, and therefore hated 
by the Devil: Satan, by opposing it, promotes 
confusion and perdition, and destroys every thing- 
gentle, generous, and social. Celibacy is at best 
but a solitary and helpless condition ;. and has in 
all ages been discouraged by the prudent policy of 
well-regulated states : while marriage, on the con- 
trary, is productive of the highest degree of 
human felicity, and has always received the 
sanction of the wisest and most virtuous part of 
mankind. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 275 

My dear Reader, if you are unmarried, and 
healthy, get a wife as soon as possible, some 
charming girl, or pretty widow, adorned with 
modesty, robed with meekness, and who has the 
grace to attract the soul, and heighten every joy 
continually ; take her to thy breast, and bravely 
enter into holy wedlock. Despise and hiss those 
who teach the contrary doctrine. They would 
deprive the world of the purest sources of do- 
mestic comfort ; and deserve to be drummed out 
of society. 



276 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER XX. 



Where would thy fond, thy vain inquiry go ? 
What mystic fate, what secret wouldst thou know ? 
If this sad world, with all its forces join'd, 
The universal malice of mankind, 
Can shake or hurt the brave and honest mind ? 
If stable virtue can her ground maintain, 
While fortune feebly threats and frowns in vain ? 
If truth and justice with uprightness dwell, 
And honesty consist in meaning well ? 
If right be independent of success, 
And conquest cannot make it more nor less ? — 
Are these, my friend, the secrets thou wouldst know. 
Those doubts for which to oracles we go ? 
'Tis known, 'tis plain, 'tis all already told, 
And horned Ammon can no more unfold. 

Rowe. 

Jr or six weeks after our marriage, we resided at 
the inn, on account of the charms of the ground, 
and seemed to be in possession of a lasting hap- 
piness, which it is impossible for words to de- 
scribe. Every thing was so smooth and so round, 
that we thought prosperity must be our own for 
many years to come, and that we were quite se- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 277 

cure from the flames of destruction. Calamity, 
however, soon laid hold of us, when we had not 
the least reason to expect it; and from a fulness of 
peace and felicity, we sunk at once into an abyss 
of afflictions. Instead of going back to Skelsmore 
Vale, as we had resolved, my wife would go up to 
town, and pass a few weeks in London and its 
vicinity, before she retired to the mountains. I 
was against it, but her will was my law. We set 
out for the capital, and the first day's journey 
was delightful. But her fine beast having met 
with an accident in the night, by a rope in the 
stable, which got about its foot, and cut it so 
deeply as rendered it unable to travel, we took 
a chariot and four to finish our way ; but on 
driving by the side of a steep hill, the horses took 
fright, overturned the carriage, and my charmer 
was killed. This was a dismal scene. 

Just as she expired, she took me by the hand, 
and with the spirit of an old Roman, bade me 
adieu. Can you form an idea, reader, of the 
distress I was then in? It is not possible, I think, 
unless you have been exactly in the same situa- 
tion : unless you loved like me, and have been as 
miserably separated from as charming a woman. 
But it was in vain for me to continue lamenting. 
She was gone for ever, and lay as the clod of the 



278 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

valley before me. Her body I deposited in the 
next church-yard ; and immediately after rode as 
fast as I could to London, to lose thought in dis- 
sipation, and resign the better to the decree. For 
some days I lived at the inn I put up at, but, as 
soon as I could, went into a lodging, and it hap- 
pened to be at the house of the famous Curll the 
bookseller; a man well known in the Dunciad, 
and Pope's Letters to his Friends, on account of 
CurlPs frauds in purchasing and printing stolen 
copies of Mr. Pope's Works. It is in relation 
to these tricks, that Pope mentions Curll in his 
Dunciad and Letters. 

Curll was in person very tall and thin, an un- 
gainly, awkward, white-faced man. His eyes 
were a light-grey, large, projecting, goggle and 
purblind. He was splay-footed, and baker- 
kneed. 

He had a good natural understanding, and was 
well acquainted with more than the title-pages of 
books. He talked well on some subjects. He 
was a debauchee to the last degree, and so inju- 
rious to society, that by filling his translations 
with wretched notes, forged letters, and bad 
pictures, he raised the price of a four-shilling 
book to ten. Thus, in particular, he managed 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 279 

Burnet's Archseology : and when I told him he 
was very culpable in this, and other articles he 
sold, his answer was, " What would I have him 
to do ? He was a bookseller." His translators in 
pay, lay three in a bed, at the Pewter Platter 
Inn, in Holborn ; and he and they were for ever 
at work to deceive the public. 

As Curll knew the world well, and was acquaint- 
ed with several extraordinary characters, he was 
of great use to me at my first coming to town, as 
I knew nobody, nor any place. He gave me the 
true characters of many I saw, told me whom I 
should avoid, and with whom I might be free. 
He brought me to the playhouses, and gave me 
a judicious account of every actor. He under- 
stood those things well. No man could talk bet- 
ter on theatrical subjects. He brought me like- 
wise to Sadler's Wells, to the night-cellars, and 
to Tom King's, the famous night-house at Covent 
Garden. As he w r as very knowing, and well- 
known at such places, he soon made me as wise 
as himself in these branches of learning ; and, 
in short, in the space of a month, I was as well 
acquainted in London, as if I had been there 
for years. My kind preceptor spared no pains 
in lecturing. 



280 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

While 1 lodged at Curll's, two Irish gentlemen 
came to see me, Jemmy King, an attorney, and 
that famous master in chancery, who seduced 
Nelly Hayden the beauty, and kept her several 
years. I knew these men were as great rakes 
as ever lived, and had no notion of religion; 
that they were devoted to pleasure, and chased 
away every sober thought and apprehension by 
company, by empty, vicious, and unmanly plea- 
sures. The voice of the monitor was lost, in the 
confused noise and tumult of the passions ; but I 
thought they had honour at the bottom, accord- 
ing to the common notion of it. I never ima- 
gined they were sharpers, nor knew, that being 
ruined in Ireland, they came over to live by a 
gaming-table. The doctor, especially, I thought 
was above ever becoming that kind of man, as 
he had a large estate, and the best education, 
always kept good company, and to appearance 
was as fine a gentleman as ever was seen in the 
world. With these two I dined, and after dinner 
they brought me, as it were out of curiosity, to a 
gaming-table they had by accident discovered, 
where there was a bank kept by men of the great- 
est honour, who played quite fair, and by hazard- 
ing a few guineas, I might perhaps, as they did, 
come off with some hundreds. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 281 

At entering the room, I saw about twenty well- 
dressed men sitting round a table, on which lay a 
vast heap of gold. We all began to play, and 
for two or three hours I won some hundreds of 
pounds: the doctor and the other cheat, his 
friend, seemed to lose a large sum ; but before 
morning they won it all back from me, with a 
great deal more ; and I not only lost what I had 
got then, but, excepting a few pounds, all that I 
was worth in the world — all the thousands I had 
gained by my several wives. I had sold their 
estates, and lodged the money in my banker's 
hands. The villains round this table got it all, 
and my two Irishmen were not to be seen. They 
disappeared, and left me madly playing away my 
all. I heard no more of them, till I was told 
several years after, that they were in the Isle of 
Man, among other outlawed, abandoned, wicked 
men ; where they drank night and day, according 
to the custom of the place, and lived in defiance 
of God and man. There these two advocates of 
impiety dwelt for some time, and died as they 
had lived, enemies to all good principles, and 
friends to a general corruption. 

As to the well-dressed company round the 
table, they went off one by one, and left me all 
alone to the bitter thought, which led me to what 



282 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

I was some hours before, by what I then found 
myself to be. I was almost distracted. " What 
had I to do with play?" I said : " I wanted no- 
thing. And now by villains, with a set of dice 
that would deceive the devil, I am undone ! By 
sharpers and false dice I have sat to be ruined." 
The reflection numbed my senses for some time ; 
and then I started, was wild, and raved. 

This transaction made me very thoughtful, and 
I sat within for several days, thinking which way 
to turn. Curll saw I was perplexed, and, on his 
asking me if I had met with any misfortune, I 
told him the whole case; that I had but one hun- 
dred pounds left, and requested he would advise 
me what I had best do. To do justice to every 
one, Curll seemed deeply concerned, and after 
some silence, as we sat over a bottle at a coffee- 
house, he bade me take notice of an old gentleman 
who was not far from us. " That is Dunk the 
miser, who lives in a wood about twenty miles off. 
He has one daughter, the finest creature in the 
universe, and who is to succeed to his great estate, 
whether he will or not ; it being so settled at his 
marriage ; but he confines her so much in the 
country, and uses her so cruelly every way, that 
I believe she would run away with any honest 
young fellow, who could find means to address 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 283 

her. Know then," continued Curll, " that I serve 
Mr. Dunk with paper, pens, ink, wax, pamphlets, 
and every thing he wants in my way. Once a 
quarter of a year, I generally go to his country- 
house with such things, as he is glad to see me 
sometimes ; or if I cannot go myself, I send them 
by some other hand. Next week I am to forward 
some things to him, and if you will take them, I 
will write a line by you to Miss his daughter, re- 
commend you to her for a husband, as one she 
may depend on for honour and truth. She knows 
I am her friend ; and who can tell but she may 
go off with you? She will have a thousand a year 
when the wretch her father dies, if he should leave 
his personal estate another way." 

This thought pleased me much; and at the ap- 
pointed time, away I went to Mr. Dunk's coun- 
try-house with a wallet full of things, and deli- 
vered Curll's letter to Miss. As soon as she had 
read it, I began my address, and in the best man- 
ner I could, made her an offer of my service, to 
deliver her from the tyrant her father. I gave her 
an account of a little farm I had on the borders 
of Cumberland — a purchase I had made on ac- 
count of the charms of the ground, and a small 
pretty lodge which stood in the middle of it, by 
a clump of old trees, near a murmuring stream ; 



284 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

that, if she pleased, 1 would take her to that 
sweet silent spot, and enable her to live in 
peace ; though far away from the splendours 
and honours of the world. " Away from the idle 
modes of fashion, perpetual love and unmixed 
joys may be our portion, through the whole of 
our existence here ; and when called away from 
this lower hemisphere, we shall have nothing to 
fear, as we shall have used this world as though 
we used it not ; as we shall have known no grati- 
fications and liberties but what our religion al- 
lowed us : as our enjoyments will have been but 
the necessary convenience and accommodation for 
passing from this world to the realms of eternal 
happiness. Follow me then, Miss Dunk ; I will 
convey you to a scene of still life and felicity, 
great and lasting as the heart of woman can wish 
for." 

The charming Agnes seemed not a little sur- 
prised at what I had said ; and after looking at 
me very earnestly for a minute or two, told me, 
she would give me an answer to Mr. Curll's letter 
in less than half an hour, which was all she could 
say at present; and with it I returned to give him 
an account of the reception I had. " It will do," 
he said, after he had read the letter I brought 
him from Miss Dunk; "but you must be my 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 285 

young man for a week or two more, and take 
some more things to the same place." He then 
shewed me the letter, and I read the following 
lines. 

"Sir, 
" I am extremely obliged to you for your concern 
about my happiness and liberty, and will own to 
you, that in my dismal situation, I would take the 
friend you recommend for a guide through the 
wilderness, if I could think his heart was as sound 
as his head. If his intentions were as upright as 
his words are fluent and good, I need not be long 
in pondering on the scheme he proposed. But 
can we believe him true, as Lucinda says in the 
play? 

The sunny hill, the flowery vale, 

The garden and the grove, 
Have echoed to his ardent tale 

And vows of endless love. 

The conquest gain'd, he left his prize, 

He left her to complain, 
To talk of joy with weeping eyes, 

And measure time by pain." 

To this Curll replied in a circumstantial man- 
ner, and vouched very largely for me. I deli- 
vered his letter the next morning, when I went 



286 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

With some acts of parliament to old Dunk, and I 
found the beauty, his daughter, in a rosy bower 
— si?nplex munditiis, neat and clean as possible in 
the most genteel undress ; and her person so vast- 
ly fine, her face so vastly charming, that I could 
not but repeat the lines of Otway : 

Man when created first wander'd up and down, 
Forlorn and silent as his vassal brutes ; 
But when a heaven-born maid like you appear'd, 
Strange pleasures fill'd his soul, unloosed his tongue, 
And his first talk was love. 

A deal I said upon the occasion : we became 
well acquainted that day, as her father had got a 
disorder that obliged him to keep his bed, and by 
the time I had visited her a month longer, under 
various pretences of business invented by the in- 
genious Curll, Agnes agreed to go off with me, 
and commit herself entirely to my care and pro- 
tection. But, before I relate this transaction, I 
think it proper to give my readers the picture 
of this lady. 

Agnes in her person was neither tall nor thin, 
but almost both, young and lovely, graceful and 
commanding: she inspired a respect, and com- 
pelled the beholder to admire and love and reve- 
rence her. Her voice was melodious ; her words 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 287 

quite charming; and every look and motion to 
her advantage. Taste was the characteristic of 
her understanding ; her sentiments were refined ; 
and a sensibility appeared in every feature of her 
face. She could talk on various subjects, and 
comprehended them, which is what few speakers 
do; but with the finest discernment, she was 
timid, and so diffident of her opinion, that she 
often concealed the finest thoughts under a seem- 
ing simplicity of soul. This was visible to a 
hearer, and the decency of ignorance added a 
new beauty to her character. In short, possessed 
of excellence, she appeared unconscious of it, 
and never discovered the least pride or precipi- 
tancy in her conversation. Her manner was per- 
fectly polite, and mixed with a gaiety that charm- 
ed, because it was as free from restraint as from 
boldness. 

In sum, exclusive of her fine understanding, in 
her dress, and in her behaviour, she was so ex- 
tremely pleasing, so vastly agreeable and delight- 
ful, that she ever brought to my remembrance, 
when I beheld her, the Corinna described in the 
beautiful lines of Tibullus : 

When love would set the gods on fire, he flies 
To light his torches at her sparkling eyes. 



288 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Whate'er Corinna does, where'er she goes, 
The graces all her motions still compose. 
How her hair charms us, when it loosely falls ; 
Comb'd back and tied, our veneration calls ! 
If she comes out in scarlet, then she turns 
Us all to ashes, — though in white she burns. 
Vertumnus so a thousand dresses wears, 
So in a thousand, ever grace appears. 

We met within half a mile of her father's house, 
by the side of an ancient wood and a running 
stream, which had a pleasing effect, as it happened 
to be a bright moonshine. With her foot in 
my hand, I lifted her into her saddle, and as our 
horses were excellent, we rode many miles in a 
few hours. By eight in the morning, we were out 
of the reach of old Dunk ; and at the sign of the 
Pilgrim, a lone house in Esur Vale, in Hertford- 
shire, we breakfasted very joyfully. The charm- 
ing Agnes seemed well pleased with the expedi- 
tion, and said a thousand things that rendered 
the journey delightful. Twelve days we travelled 
in a fulness of delights, happy beyond descrip- 
tion, and the thirteenth arrived at a village not 
far from my little habitation. Here we designed 
to be married two days after, when we had rested, 
as there was a church and a parson in the town, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 289 

and then ride on to Foley-farm in Cumberland, as 
my small spot was called, and there sit down in 
peace and happiness. 

But the second day, instead of rising to the 
nuptial ceremony, to crown my life with un- 
utterable bliss, and make me beyond all mankind 
happy, the lovely Agnes fell ill of a fever. A sense 
of weight and oppression discovered the inflam- 
mation within, and was attended with sharp and 
pungent pains. The blood could not pass off as 
it ought in the course of circulation, and the 
whole mass was in a violent fluctuation and mo- 
tion. In a word, she died in a few T days; and 
as she had requested, if it came to that, I laid 
her out, and put her into the coffin myself. I 
kept her seven days, according to the custom of 
the old Romans, and then in the dress of sorrow 
followed her to the grave. — Thus w r as my plan of 
happiness broken to pieces. I had given a round- 
ness to a system of felicity, and, in the place of 
it, saw death and horror, and disappointment be- 
fore me. 

What to do next I could not tell. One ques- 
tion was, should I return to Orton Lodge, to my 
two young heiresses? No : they wanted two years 
of being at age. — Then, should I stay at Foley- 
Farm where I was, and turn hermit ? No : I had 
o 



290 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

no inclination yet to become a father of the de- 
serts. — Will you return to London then, and see 
if fortune has any thing more in reserve for you? 
This I liked best ; and after six months delibera- 
tion on the thing, I left my farm in the care of 
an old woman, and set out in the beginning of 
January. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 291 



CHAPTER XXI. 



Angels and ministers of grace defend us ! 
Let me not burst in ignorance 5 but tell, 
Why thy canonized bones, hearsed in earth, 
Have burst their cerements ? why the sepulchre. 
Wherein we saw thee quietly inurn'd, 
Hath oped his ponderous and marble jaws, 
To cast thee up again ? What may this mean ; 



It was as fine a winter's morning; as I had seen. 
which encouraged me to venture among the Fells 
of Westmoreland ; but at noon the weather 
changed, and an evening very terrible came on. 
A little after three, it began to blow, rain, and 
snow very hard, and it was not long before it 
w r as very dark. We lost the way, and for three 
hours wandered about in as dismal a night as 
ever poor travellers had. The storm rattled : the 
tempest howled : we could not see the horses' 
heads, and w T ere almost dead with cold. We 
had nothing to expect but death, as we knew 
not w T hich way to turn to any house, and it was 
o 2 



292 THE SPIRIT OF BTJNCLE. 

impossible to remain alive till the day appeared. 
It was a dismal scene; and, when we had no 
ground to expect deliverance, the beasts of a 
sudden stopped, and Soto found we were at the 
gate of a walled yard. There he immediately 
made all the noise he could, and it was not long 
before a servant with a lantern came. He re- 
lated our case within, and had orders to admit 
us. He brought me into a common parlour, 
where there was a good fire, and I got dry things. 
The man brought me half a pint of hot Alicant, 
and in about half an hour I was alive and well 
again. On inquiring where I was, the footman 
told me, it was Doctor Stanvil's house ; that his 
master and lady were above in the dining-room, 
with some company, and he had directions to 
light me up, when I had changed my clothes, 
and was recovered. Upon this I told him I was 
ready, and followed him. 

On the servant's opening a door, I entered a 
handsome apartment, well lighted with wax, and 
which had a glorious fire blazing in it. The 
doctor received me with great politeness, and 
said many civil things upon fortune's conducting 
me to his house. The conversation naturally fell 
upon the horrors of the night, as it still continued 
to rain, hail, and blow, beyond what any of the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 293 

company had ever heard ; and one of the ladies 
said, she believed the winter was always far 
more boisterous and cold among the Fells of 
Westmoreland, than in any other part of Eng- 
land, for which she gave several good reasons : 
the solemn mountains, the beautiful valleys, the 
falling streams, form one of the most charming 
countries in the world in summer-time ; but in 
winter, it is the most dreadful spot of earth, to be 
sure. 

The voice of the lady who talked in this man- 
ner, I thought I was well acquainted with; but 
by the position of the candles, and the angle of 
a screen in which she sat, I could not very well 
see her face : amazement however began to seize 
me, and as an elegant supper was soon after 
brought in, I had an opportunity of seeing, that 
Miss Dunk, whom I had buried, was now before 
my eyes, in the character of Dr. StanviPs wife ; 
or, at least, it w r as one so like her, it was not 
possible for me to distinguish the figures. There 
was the same bright victorious eyes, and chesnut 
hair ; the complexion like a blush, and a mouth 
where all the little Loves for ever dwelt : there 
was the fugitive dimple, the enchanting laugh, 
the rosy fingers, the fine height, and the mien 
more striking than Calypso's. O heavens! I 



294 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

said to myself, on sitting down to supper, What 
is this I see ! But as she did not seem to be at 
all affected, or shewed the least sign of her 
having ever seen me before that time, I remained 
silent, and only continued to look with admira- 
tion at her, unmindful of the many excellent 
things before me. In a minute or two, however, 
I recovered myself. I ate my supper, and joined 
in the festivity of the night. We had music, 
and several songs. We were easy, free, and 
happy, as well-bred people could be. 

At midnight we parted, and finding an easy- 
chair by the side of my bed, I threw myself 
into it, and began to reflect on what I had seen ; 
Finn standing before me with his arms folded, 
and looking very seriously at me. This lasted 
for about a quarter of an hour, and then the 
honest fellow spoke in the following manner. 
" I beg leave, Sir, to imagine you are perplexing 
yourself about the lady of this house, whom I 
suppose you take for Miss Dunk, we brought 
from the other side of England half a year ago, 
and buried in the next church-yard to Blenkern. 
This, if I may be so free, is likewise my opinion. 
1 would take my oath of it in a court of justice, 
if there was occasion for it. However she got 
out of the grave, and by whatever casualty she 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 295 

came to be Mrs. Stanvil, and mistress of this 
fine house ; yet I could swear to her being the 
lady who travelled with us from the west to 
Cumberland. But then it seems very wonderful 
and strange, that she should forget you so soon, 
or be able to act a part so amazing, as to seem 
not to have ever seen you before this night. 
This has astonished me, as I stood behind your 
chair at supper, looking full at her ; and I ob- 
served she looked at me once or twice. What 
to say to all this, I know not ; but I will make 
all the inquiry I can among the servants, as to 
the time and manner of her coming here, and 
let you know to-morrow what I have been able 
to collect in relation to her. In the mean time, 
be advised by me, Sir, though I am but a poor 
fellow ; and think no more of the matter to the 
loss of your night's rest. We have had a won- 
derful deliverance from death by getting into 
this house, I am sure ; and we ought to lie down 
with thankfulness and joy, without fretting our- 
selves awake for a woman, or any trifling inci- 
dent that could befal. Besides, she is now ano- 
ther man's property, however it came to pass, 
and it would be inconsistent with your character 
to think any more of her. This may be too free > 
but I hope, Sir, you will excuse it in a servant 



296 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

who has your interest and welfare at heart." Here 
the sage Finn had done. He withdrew, and I 
went to sleep. 

Betimes the next morning, Finn was with me ; 
and, on my asking what news, he said, he had 
heard something from all the servants, and more 
particularly had got the following account from 
the doctor's own man : "that Dr. Stanvil had a 
small lodge within three miles of the house we 
were in, and retired there sometimes to be more 
alone than he could be in the residence we 
w r ere at : that this lodge was a mere repository 
of curiosities, in the middle of a garden full of all 
the herbs and plants that grew in every country 
of the world ; and in one chamber of this house 
was a great number of skeletons, which the doc- 
tor had made himself; for it was his practice to 
procure bodies from the surrounding church-yards, 
by men he kept in pay for the purpose, and cut 
them up himself at this lodge : that some of 
these dead bodies were brought to him in ham- 
pers, and some in their coffins on light railed 
cars, as the case required : that near six months 
ago, the last time the doctor was at his lodge, 
there was brought to him by his men the body 
of a young woman in her coffin, in order to a 
dissection as usual and the bones being wired; 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 297 

but as it lay on the back, on the great table he 
cuts up on, and on applying the point of his 
knife at the pit of the stomach, to open the 
breast, he perceived a kind of motion in the sub- 
ject, heard a sigh soon after, and looking up to 
the head, saw the eyes open and shut again : 
that, upon this, he laid down his knife, which 
had but just scratched the body at the beginning 
of the linea alba (as my informer called it), and 
helped himself to put it into a warm bed : that 
he took all possible pains, by administering 
every thing he could think useful, to restore 
life, and was so fortunate as to set one of the 
finest women in the world on her feet again. 
As she had no raiment but the shroud which 
had been on her in the coffin, he got every thing 
belonoino; to dress that a woman of distinction 
could have occasion for, and in a few days time 
she sparkled before her preserver in the bright- 
ness of an Eastern princess. He was quite 
charmed with the beauties of her person, and 
could not enough admire her uncommon under- 
standing : he offered to marry her, to settle 
largely on her ; and, as she was a single woman, 
she could not in gratitude refuse the request of 
so generous a benefactor. My informer farther 
related, that they have both lived in the greatest 
o 5 



298 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

happiness ever since; and the doctor, who is 
one of the best of men, is continually studying 
how to add to her felicities every day : that 
he offered to take her up to London to pass the 
winters there, but this she refused, and desired 
she might remain where she w T as in the country, 
as it was really most agreeable to her, and as he 
preferred it to the town." 

This account made the thing quite plain to 
me. And to judge impartially, considering the 
whole case, I could neither blame the lovely 
Agnes for marrying the doctor, nor condemn 
her for pretending to be a stranger to me. She 
was fairly dead and buried, and all connexion 
between us was at an end of course, as there had 
been no marriage, nor contract of marriage. And 
as to reviving the affair, and renewing the ten- 
derness which had existed, it could answer no 
other end than producing unhappiness, as she 
was then Mrs. Stanvil, in a decent and happy 
situation. And farther, in respect of her marry- 
ing the doctor so soon after her separation from 
me, it was certainly the wisest thing she could 
do, as she had been so entirely at his disposal, 
was without a stitch to cover her, and I in all 
probability, after burying her, being gone up to 
London, or in some place where she could never 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 299 

hear of me more :— I might likewise have been 
married, if any thing advantageous had offered 
after laying her in the church-yard. And besides, 
she neither knew the place she fell sick in, nor 
the country to which the doctor removed her, as 
soon as ever he could get any clothes to put 
on her. So that, naked and friendless as she 
was, without any money, and ignorant of 
what became of me, without a possibility of 
informing herself, I could not but acquit her. 
I even admired her conduct, and resolved so far 
to imitate her, in regard to the general happiness, 
that nothing should appear in my behaviour, 
which could incline any one to think I had ever 
seen her before the night the tempest drove me 
to her house. I was vexed, I own, to lose her. 
But that could be no reason for making a sense- 
less uproar, that could do nothing but mischief. 

As composed then as I could be, I went down 
to breakfast, on a servant's letting me know 
they waited for me ; and found the same company 
who had so lately parted to slumber, all quite 
alive and cheerful, easy and happy as mortals 
could be. At the request of Dr. Stanvil, who 
was extremely civil, I stayed with them two 
months ; and passed the time in a delightful con- 
versation, intermixed with music, cards, and 



300 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

feasting. With sadness I left them all, but es- 
pecially on account of parting for ever with the 
late Miss Dunk. It was indeed for the pleasure 
of looking at her that I stayed so long as I did 
at Dr. StanviPs; and when it came to an eternal 
separation, I felt, that morning of my departure, 
an inward distress of which it is impossible to give 
an idea to another. It had some resemblance, I 
imagine, to what the visionaries call a dereliction; 
when they sink from ecstasy to the black void of 
horror, by the strength of fancy, and the unac- 
countable operation of the animal spirits. 

Here, before I proceed, I think I ought to re- 
move some objections that may be made against 
my relation of Mrs. StanviPs coming to life 
again, and her being brought from the couch of 
lasting night to a bridal bed. It is not easy to 
believe, that after I felt certain she was dead, 
and kept her the proper number of days before 
interment, saw her lie the cold wan subject 
for a considerable time, and then let down into 
the grave ; yet from thence she should come 
forth, and now be the desire of a husband's eyes. 
This is a hard account, sure. But nevertheless 
it is a fact. As to my being mistaken, no less a 
man than Dr. Cheyne thought Colonel Towns- 
end dead : and that several have lived for many 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 301 

years, after they had been laid in the tomb, is a 
thing too certain, and well-known, to be denied. 
In Bayle's Dictionary, there is the history of a 
lady of quality, belonging to the court of Cathe- 
rine de Medicis, who was brought from the 
church-vault, where she had been forty-eight 
hours, and afterwards became the mother of 
several children, on her marriage with the Mar- 
quis D'Auvergne. The learned Dr. Conner, in 
his History of Poland, gives us a very wonderful 
relation of a gentleman's reviving in that country, 
after he had been seemingly dead for near a 
fortnight ; and adds a very curious dissertation 
on the nature of such recoveries. The case of 
Duns Scotus, who was found out of his coffin, on 
the steps going down to the vault he was depo- 
sited in, and leaning on his elbow, is full to my 
purpose. And I can affirm from my own know- 
ledge, that a gentleman of my acquaintance, a 
worthy excellent man, was buried alive, and found 
not only much bruised and torn, on opening his 
coffin, but turned on one side. This many still 
living can attest, as well as I. The reason of 
opening the grave again, was his dying of a high 
fever in the absence of his lady, who was in 
a distant county from him; and on her return, 
three days after he was buried, would have a 



302 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

sight of him, as she had been extremely fond of 
him. His face was sadly broken, and his hands 
hurt in striving to force up the lid of the coffin. 
The lady was so affected with the dismal sight, 
that she never held up her head after, and died 
in a few weeks. I could likewise add another 
extraordinary case of a man who was hanged, 
and to all appearance was quite dead, yet three 
days after his execution recovered as they were 
going to cut him up. How these things happen 
it is not easy to account for ; but happen they 
do sometimes. And this case of Mrs. Stanvil may 
be depended on as a fact. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 303 



CHAPTER XXII. 



Opinion's foot is never, never found 
Where Knowledge dwells, 'tis interdicted ground ; 
At Wisdom's gate the opinions must resign 
Their charge, those limits their employ confine. 
Thus trading barks, skill'd in the watery road, 
To distant climes convey their precious load j 
Then turn their prow, light bounding o'er the main, 
And with new traffic store their keels again. 
Thus far is clear. But yet untold remains, 
What the good genius to the crowd ordains, 
Just on the verge of life. 

He bids them hold 
A spirit with erected courage bold. 
Never (he calls) on Fortune's faith rely, 
Nor grasp her dubious gift as property. 
Let not her smile transport, her frown dismay, 
Nor praise, nor blame, nor wonder at her sway, 
Which reason never guides : 'tis fortune still, 
Capricious chance, and arbitrary will. 
Bad bankers, vain of treasure not their own, 
With foolish rapture hug the trusted loan : 
Impatient, when the powerful bond demands 
Its unremember'd covenant from their hands. 
Unlike to such, without a sigh restore 
What fortune lends : anon she '11 lavish more. 
Repenting of her bounty, snatch away, 
Yea, seize your patrimonial fund for prey. 



304 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Embrace her proffer'd boon, but instant rise, 

Spring upward, and secure a lasting prize, 

The gift which Wisdom to her sons divides ; 

Knowledge, whose beam the doubting judgment guides, 

Scatters the sensual fog, and clear to view 

Distinguishes false interest from the true. 

Flee, flee to this, with unabating pace, 

Nor parley for a moment at the place, 

Where Pleasure and her harlots tempt, nor rest 

But at false Wisdom's inn, a transient guest : 

For short refection at her table sit, 

And take what science may your palate hit : 

Then wing your journey forward, till you reach 

True wisdom, and imbibe the truth she '11 teach. 

Such is the advice the friendly genius gives, 

He perishes who scorns — who follows lives. 

Scott's Cebes. 

With this advice of the genius, I set out, as 
I had resolved, for York, and designed to go 
from thence to London ; hoping to meet with 
something good, and purposing, if it were pos- 
sible, to be no longer the rover, but turn to 
something useful, and fix. I had lost almost 
all at the gaming-table, as related, and had not 
thirty pounds of my last hundred remaining. 
This, with a few sheep, cows, and horses, at Orton 
Lodge, and a very small stock at my little farm 
on the borders of Cumberland, was all I had left. 
It made me very serious, and brought some dis- 
mal apprehensions in view. But I did not despair. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 305 

As my heart was honest, I still trusted in the 
providence of God, and his administration of 
things in this world. 

On then I trotted, brave as the man of wood # , 
and hoped at the end of every mile to meet with 
something fortunate ; but nothing extraordinary 
occurred till the second evening, when I arrived 
at a little lone public house, on the side of a great 
heath, by the entrance of a wood. For an hour 
before I came to this resting-place, I had rid in a 
tempest of wind, rain, lightning, and thunder, so 
very violent, that it brought to my remembrance 
old Hesiod's description of a storm. 

Then Jove omnipotent display'd the god, 
And all Olympus trembled as he trod : 



* Claude relates, that it was, the humour of the Prince of 
Conde, to have a man of wood on horseback, dressed like a 
field-officer, with a lifted broad-sword in its hand; which 
figure was fastened in the great saddle, and the horse it was 
on always kept by the great Conde's side, when he travelled 
or engaged in the bloody field. Fearless the man of wood 
appeared in many a well-fought day ; but, as they pursued 
the enemy one afternoon through a forest, in riding hard, a 
bough knocked off the wooden warrior's head ; yet still he 
galloped on after flying foes, to the amazement of the enemy, 
who saw a hero pursuing without a head. 



306 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

He grasps ten thousand thunders in his hand, 
Bares his red arm, and wields the forky brand ; 
Then aims the bolts, and bids his lightnings play, 
They flash, and rend through heaven their flaming 

way: 
Redoubling blow on blow, in wrath he moves, 
The singed earth groans, and burns with all her groves : 
A night of clouds blots out the golden day, 
Full in their eyes the writhen lightnings play : 
Nor slept the wind ; the wind new horror forms, 
Clouds dash on clouds before the outrageous storms ; 
While tearing up the sands, in drifts they rise, 
And half the deserts mount the encumber'd skies : 
At once the tempest bellows, lightnings fly, 
The thunders roar, and clouds involve the sky. 

It was a dreadful evening upon a heath, and so 
much as a bush was not to be met with for shel- 
ter; but at last we came to the thatched habita- 
tion of a publican, and I thought it a very com- 
fortable place. We had bread and bacon, and 
good ale for supper; and in our circumstances it 
seemed a delicious meal. 

This man informed me, that about a mile from 
his habitation, in the middle of the wood, there 
dwelt an old physician, one Dr. Fitzgibbons, an 
Irish gentleman, who had one very pretty daugh- 
ter, a sensible woman, to whom he was able to 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 307 

give a good fortune, if a man to both their liking 
appeared ; but as no such one had as. yet come in 
their way, my landlord advised me to try the ad- 
venture, and he would furnish me with an excuse 
for going to the doctor's house. This set me a 
thinking : Dr. Fitzgibbons, an Irish gentleman, I 
said : I know the man. I saved his son's life, in 
Ireland, when he was upon the brink of destruc- 
tion; and the old gentleman was not only then as 
thankful as it was possible for a man to be, in re- 
turn for the good I had done him, at the hazard 
of my own life ; but assured me, a thousand times 
over, that if ever it was in his power to return my 
kindness, he would be my friend to the utmost of 
his ability. He must ever remember, with the 
greatest gratitude, the benefit I had so generously 
conferred on him and his. All this came full into 
my mind, and I determined to visit the old gen- 
tleman in the morning. 

Next day, as I had resolved, I went to pay my 
respects to Dr. Fitzgibbons, who remembered me 
perfectly well, was most heartily glad to see me, 
and received me in the most affectionate manner. 
He immediately began to repeat his obligations 
to me for the deliverance I had given his son, 
and that, if it was in his power to be of service to 
me in England, he would leave nothing undone 



308 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

that was possible for him to do, to befriend me. * 
He told me, that darling son of his, whose life I 
had saved, was an eminent physician at the court 
of Russia, where he lived in the greatest opulence 
and reputation ; and as he owed his existence as 
such to me, his father could never be grateful 
enough in return. " Can I any way serve you, 
Sir? Have you been fortunate or unfortunate, since 
your living in England ? Are you married or un- 
married ? I have a daughter by a second wife, and 
if you are not yet engaged, will give her to you, 
with a good fortune, and in two years' time, if you 
will study physic here under my direction, will 

* The case was this. As I was returning one summer's 
evening from Tallow-Hills, where I had been to see a young 
lady (mentioned in the beginning of my volume), I saw 
in a deep glen before me two men engaged ; a black of an 
enormous size, who fought with one of those large broad- 
swords which they call in Ireland Andrew Ferraro ; and a 
little thin man with a drawn rapier. The white man, I per- 
ceived, was no match for the black, and must have perished 
very soon, as he had received several wounds, if I had not 
hastened up to his relief. I knew him to be my acquain- 
tance, young Fitzgibbons, my neighbour in the same square 
of the college that I lived in ; and immediately drawing an 
excellent Spanish tuck I always wore, took the Moor to my- 
self, Fitzgibbons not being able to stand any longer ; and a 
glorious battle ensued. As I was a master at the small 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



309 



enable you to begin to practise, and get money 
as I have done in this country. I have so true 
a sense of that generous act you did to save my 
son, that I will with pleasure do any thing in my 
power that can contribute to your happiness." 

To this I replied, by thanking the doctor for 
his friendly offers, and letting him know, that 
since my coming to England several years ago, 
which was occasioned by a difference between my 
father and me, I had met with several turns of 
fortune, good and bad, and was at present but in 
a very middling way ; having only a little spot 
among the mountains of Richmondshire, with a 

sword in those days, I had the advantage of the black by my 
weapon (as the broad-sword is but a poor defence against a 
rapier), and gave him three wounds for every slight one I re- 
ceived : but at last he cut me quite through the left collar- 
bone, and, in return, I was in his vast body a moment after. 
Thus dropped the robber, who had been a trumpeter to a regi- 
ment of horse j and Fitzgibbons and I were brought, by some 
people passing that way, to his father's house at Dolfin's Barn, 
a village about a mile from the spot where this affair hap- 
pened. A surgeon was sent for, and we recovered in a few 
weeks* time; but my collar-bone was much more trouble- 
some to me than the wounds Fitzgibbons had were to him, 
though he lost much more blood. This was the ground 
of the obligation the doctor mentioned in his conversation 
with me. 



310 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

cottage and garden on it, and three or four beasts, 
which I found by accident without an owner, as 
I travelled through that uninhabited land ; and a 
small farm of fifty acres, with some stock, on the 
borders of Cumberland, which I got by a deceased 
wife ; — this, with about fifty guineas in my purse, 
was my all at present : and I was going up to 
London, to try if I could meet with any thing 
fortunate in that place; but that, since he was 
pleased to make me such generous offers, I would 
stop, study physic as he proposed, and accept 
the great honour he did me in offering me his 
daughter for a wife. I told him likewise very 
fairly and honestly, that I had been rich by three 
or four marriages since my being in this country ; 
but that I was unfortunately taken-in at a gaming- 
table, by the means of two Irish gentlemen he 
knew very well, and there lost all; which vexed 
me the more, as I really do not love play : — that 
as to my father, I had little to expect from him, 
though he had a great estate, " and the wife you 
know he married, a low cunning woman, does all 
she can to maintain the variance, and keep up his 
anger to me, that her nephew may do the better 
on my ruin. I have not written to him since my 
being in England ; nor have I met with any one 
who could give me any account of the family." 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 311 

The doctor answered me, that since I was pleased 
to accept of his offer, his friendship I might de- 
pend on : — that, if I would, I should begin the 
next day the study of physic under his direction ; 
and at the end of two years, he would give me his 
daughter, who was not yet quite twenty. 

Just as he had said this, Miss Fitzgibbons en- 
tered the room, and her father introduced me to 
her. The sight of her astonished me ; though I 
had before seen so many fine women, I could not 
help looking with wonder at her. She appeared 
one of those finest creatures whom we cannot 
enough admire, and, upon acquaintance with her, 
became much more glorious. 

What a vast variety of beauty do we see in the 
infinity of nature ! Among the sex, we may find a 
thousand and a thousand perfect images and cha- 
racters, all equally striking, and yet as different as 
the pictures of the greatest masters in Italy. What 
amazing charms and perfections have I beheld in 
women as I journeyed through life! When I have 
parted from one, " Well," I said, " I shall never 
meet another like this inimitable maid ;" and yet, 
after all, Julia appeared divinely fair, and happy in 
every excellence that can adorn the female mind. 
Without that exact regularity of beauty, and ele- 
gant softness of propriety, which rendered Miss 



312 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Dunk a very divinity, Julia charmed with a graceful 
negligence, and enchanted with a face that glow- 
ed with youthful wonders — beauties that art could 
not adorn, but always diminished. The choice of 
dress was no part of Julia's care, but by the neg- 
lect of it she became irresistible. In her coun- 
tenance there ever appeared a bewitching mixture 
of sensibility and gaiety; and in her soul, by con- 
verse, we discovered that generosity and tender- 
ness were the first principles of her mind. To 
truth and virtue she was inwardly devoted, and at 
the bottom of her heart, though hard to discover 
it, her main business to serve God, and fit herself 
for eternity. She was one of the finest originals 
that ever appeared among woman-kind, peculiar 
in perfections which cannot be described; and so 
inexpressibly charming in an attractive sweet- 
ness, a natural gaiety, and a striking negligence, 
a fine understanding, and the most humane heart; 
that I found it impossible to know her without 
being in love with her : her power to please was 
extensive indeed. In her one had the loveliest 
idea of a woman. 

To this fine creature I was married at the end 
of two years from my first acquaintance with her; 
that is, after I had studied physic so long, under 
the care and instruction of her excellent father, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 313 

who died a few weeks after the wedding, which 
was in the beginning of the year 1734, and the 
twenty-ninth of my age. Dying, he left me a 
handsome fortune, his library, and house ; and I 
imagined I should live many happy years with 
his admirable daughter, who obliged me by every 
endearing means to be excessively fond of her. I 
began to practise upon the old gentleman's death, 
and had learned so much in the two years I had 
studied under him, from his lecturing and my own 
hard reading, that I was able to get some money 
among the opulent round me ; not by art and col- 
lusion, the case of too many doctors in town and 
country, but by practising upon consistent prin- 
ciples. 



314 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



CHAPTER XXIII. 



Look round the habitable world, how few 

Know their own good ; or knowing it, pursue. 

How void of reason are our hopes and fears ! 

What in the conduct of our life appears 

So well design'd, so luckily begun, 

But, when we have our wish, we wish undone ! 

The Tenth Satire of Juvenal, Dryden. 



Having married the illustrious Julia, and by the 
death of her father soon after the wedding, ac- 
quired a handsome settlement, a considerable sum 
of money, and a valuable collection of books, I 
thought myself so happily, situated in the midst 
of flourishing mercies, and so well secured from 
adversity, that it was hardly possible for the 
flame of destruction to reach me. But when I 
had not the least reason to imagine that prospe- 
rity was not my own, infelicity came stalking on 
unseen ; and from a fulness of peace, plunged us 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE, 315 

at once into an abyss of woe. It was our practice, 
when the evenings were fine, to take boat at the 
bottom of a meadow, at the end of our garden, 
and in the middle of a deep river, pass an hour 
or two in fishing ; but at last, by some accident 
or other, a slip of the foot, or the boat's being got 
a little too far from the bank-side, Julia fell in, 
and was drowned. This happened in the tenth 
month of our marriage. The loss of this charm- 
ing angel in such a manner sat powerfully on my 
spirits for some time 5 and the remembrance of 
her perfections, and the delights I enjoyed w T hile 
she lived, made me wish I had never seen her. 
To be so extremely happy as I was, and be de- 
prived of her in a moment, in so shocking a way, 
was an affliction I was hardly able to bear. It 
struck me to the heart. I sat with my eyes shut 
ten days. 

After which I called to O'Finn, my man, to 
bring the horses out immediately, and I would 
go somewhere or other to see new scenes, and if 
I could, get another wife, with whom I might 
lawfully carry on the succession. As a friend to 
society, and passively obedient to the laws of my 
higher country, "A wife for ever!" I declared : for 
if, on losing one, we can be still so fortunate as to 
get another, who is pretty without pride, witty 
p2 



316 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 



without affectation, to virtue only and her friends 
a friend, — 

Whose sense is great, and great her skill, 
For reason always guides her will ; 
Civil to all, to all she 's just, 
And faithful to her friend and trust : 
Whose character, in short, is such, 
That none can love or praise too much — 

If such a charmer should again appear, — and ten 
thousand such there ever are among the sex, silly 
and base though the majority may be, — what man 
could say he had had enough of wedlock, because 
he had buried seven such wives ? I am sure I 
could not. And if, like the men who were but 
striplings at fourscore, in the beginning of this 
world, I was to live for ages, and by accidents 
lost such partners as I have described ; I would 
with rapture take hundreds of them to my breast, 
one after another. 

With these notions in my head, I mounted my 
horse ; and determined, in the first place, to pay 
a visit to my two beauties at Orton Lodge, who 
were by this time of age, and see what opinions 
they had acquired, and if they had any command 
for me. But, when I arrived at my romantic spot, 
I found the ladies were gone, all places shut up, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 317 

and no soul there ; the key of the house-door was 
left for me, and a note fastened to it, to inform me 
how the affair was. 

" Sir, 

" Not having had the favour of hearing from 

you for almost three years, and despairing of that 

honour and happiness any more, we have left 

your fine solitude, to look after our fortunes, as 

we are of age ; and on inquiry have found that 

old Cock, our cruel guardian, is dead and gone. 

We are under infinite obligations to you, have an 

extreme sense of your goodness, and hope, if you 

are yet in the land of the living, that we shall 

soon be so happy as to get some account of you, 

to the end that we may return the weighty balance 

due from, 

" Sir, 

" Your most obliged, 

€t and ever humble servants, 

From the date of this letter it appeared, that 
they were not a month gone before my arrival ; 
but to what place they said not, and it was in vain 
for me to inquire. I found every thing in good 
order, and all the goods safe ; the garden full of 



318 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

fruits and vegetables, and plenty of various eata- 
bles in the house, pickled, potted, and preserved. 
As it was in the month of June, the solitude look- 
ed vastly charming in its vales and forest, its rocks 
and waters ; and for a month I strove to amuse 
myself there, in fishing, shooting, and improving 
the ground ; but it was so dull, so sad a scene, 
when I missed the bright companions I had with 
me in former days, who used to wander with me 
in the valleys, up the hills, by the streams, and 
make the whole a paradise all the long day, that 
I could not bear it longer than four weeks ; and 
rode from thence to Dr. StanviPs seat, to ask him 
how he did, and look once more at that fine cu- 
riosity, Miss Dunk that was, but at the time I am 
speaking of, his wife. However, before I left my 
lodge, I made a discovery one day, as I was ex- 
ploring the wild country round my little house, 
that was entertaining enough, and to this day, in 
remembrance, seems to me so agreeable, that I 
imagine a relation of this matter may be grateful 
to my readers. It contains the story of a lady, 
who cannot be enough admired, can never be suf- 
ficiently praised. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 319 



THE HISTORY OF THE BEAUTIFUL 
LEONORA. 

As I rambled one summer's morning, with my 
gun and my dog, over the vast mountains which 
surrounded me at Orton Lodge, I came, as the sun 
was rising, to a valley about four miles from my 
house, which I had not seen before, as the way to 
it, over the Fells, was a dangerous road. It was 
green and flowery, had clumps of oaks in several 
spots, and from the hovering top of a precipice at 
the end of the glen, a river falls ingulfed in rift- 
ed rocks. It is a fine rural scene. 

Here I sat down to rest myself, and was admi- 
ring the natural beauties of the place, when I saw 
three females turn into the vale, and walk towards 
the water-fall. One of them, who appeared to be 
the mistress, had an extravagance of beauty in her 
face, and a form such as I had not often seen. The 
others were pretty women, dressed like quakers, 
and very clean. They came very near the water 
where I was, but did not see me, as I was behind 
two rocks which almost joined : and after they had 
looked a while at the headlong river, they went 
back, and entering a narrow way between two 



320 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

hills, disappeared. I was greatly surprised at 
what I had seen, not imagining I had such a 
neighbour in Richmondshire, and resolved to 
know who this beauty was. The wonders of 
her face, her figure, and her mien, were striking 
to the last degree. 

Arising then as soon as they were out of sight, 
I walked on to the turning I saw them enter ; and 
in half an hour's time came to a plain, through 
which several brooks wandered, and on the mar- 
gin of one of them was a grove and a mansion. 
It was a sweet habitation, at the entrance of the 
little wood ; and before the door, on banks of 
flowers, sat the illustrious owner of this retreat, 
and her two maids. In such a place, in such a 
manner, so unexpectedly to find so charming a 
woman, seemed to me as pleasing an incident 
as could be met with in travelling over the 
world. 

At my coming near this lady, she appeared to 
be astonished, and to wonder much at seeing such 
an inhabitant in that part of the world : but on 
pulling off my hat, and telling her I came to visit 
her as her neighbour, to pay my humble respects 
to her and beg the honour of her acquaintance, 
she asked me, from what vale or mountain I came, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 321 

and how long I had been a resident in that wild 
part of the world ? This produced a compend 
of some part of my story ; and when I had done, 
she desired me to walk in. Coffee and hot rolls 
were soon brought, and we breakfasted cheerfully 
together. I took my leave soon after, having made 
her a present of some black cocks and a hare I 
had shot that morning ; and hoped, if it was pos- 
sible to find an easy way to my lodge, which I 
did not yet know, that I should some time or 
other be honoured with her presence at my little 
house, which was worth her seeing, as it was si- 
tuated in the most delightful part of this roman- 
tic silent place, and had many curiosities near it ; 
that in the mean time, if it was agreeable, I would 
wait upon her again, before I left Richmondshire, 
which would be soon, for I only came to see how 
things were, and was obliged to hasten another 
way. This beauty replied, that it would give her 
pleasure to see me, when I had a few hours to 
spare. Three times more then I went, very soon ; 
we became well acquainted, and after dinner one 
day she gave me the following relation. 

" My name was Leonora Starsfield before I 
married an Irishman, one Burk, whom I met at 
Avignon in France. He is one of the handsomest 
p 5 



322 THE SPIRIT OF BtJNCLE. 

men of the age, though his hopes were all his for- 
tune; but proved as great a villain as ever dis- 
graced mankind. His breeding and his eloquence, 
added to his fine figure, induced me to fancy him 
an angel of a man, and I imagined I had well be- 
stowed a hundred thousand pounds, to make him 
great and as happy as the day is long. For three 
months he played the god, and I fondly thought 
there was not such another happy woman as my- 
self in all the world. I was mistaken. Burk 
found out, by some means or other, that I had 
concealed five thousand pounds of my fortune 
from his knowledge. When Burk perceived this, 
he threw off the disguise, and appeared a monster 
instead of a man : he began to use me in the vilest 
manner, and by words and deeds did all he could 
to make my life a burden to me. He was for ever 
abusing me in the vilest language ; and by blows 
compelling me to inform him where my money 
was. He has left me all over blood very often, 
and when he found I still held out, and would 
not discover to him what remained of my fortune, 
he came to me one night with a small oak sap- 
ling, and beat me in such a manner as left me 
almost dead. He went out of the house, told me 
he would return by twelve, and make me comply, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 323 

or he would break every bone in my body. This 
happened at a country-seat of mine in this shire ; 
all the servants being obliged to lie every night in 
an out-house, that he might have the more power 
over me. 

" Being thus left by Burk in this sad situation, 
bleeding, and miserable with pains, but still in 
dread of worse usage on his return; I crawled 
down stairs, to a small door in a back place, 
which opened to a private way out of the house. 
This was known only to myself, as it was a pas- 
sage my father had made (in case of thieves, or 
any villains), from a little unfrequented cellar, by 
a narrow ascending arch, to a thicket in the cor- 
ner of a shrubby field at a small distance from 
the house. To a labyrinth made in this small 
grove I made what haste I could, and had not 
been long there, before I perceived through the 
trees my inhuman husband ; and as he came near 
me, heard him say, she shall tell me where my 
money is, for all she has is mine ; or I will burn 
her flesh off her bones. The sight of the monster 
made me tremble to so violent a degree, that I 
was scarcely able to proceed to the cottage of a 
poor woman, my sure friend, about two miles 
from the place I was hid in ; but I did my best to 



324 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

creep through cross ways ; and after many diffi- 
culties, and suffering much by going over ditches, 
I got to my resting-place. The old woman, my 
nurse, screeched at the sight of me, as I was sadly 
torn, and all over gore. Such a spectacle, to be 
sure, has seldom been seen. But by peace and 
proper things, I got well again in two months, and 
removed to this lone house, which my father had 
built in this spot for his occasional retirement. 
Here I have been for two years past, and am as 
happy as I desire to be : nay vastly so, as I am 
now free and delivered from a monster, whose 
avarice and cruelty made me a spectacle to angels 
and men : because, Sir, I would not reduce my- 
self to the state of a beggar, to satisfy his insati- 
able love of money. 

" Such, Sir, was my fatal marriage, which I 
thought would be a stock of such felicities that 
time only by many years could reduce to an 
evanescent state, and deprive me of. As Venus 
was at the bridal with her whole retinue ; the ar- 
dent amorous boy, the sister-graces in their loose 
attire, Aglavia, Thalia, and Euphrosyne, bright, 
blooming, and gay ; and was attended by Youth, 
that wayward thing without her ; was conducted 
by Mercury, the god of eloquence, and by Pitho, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 325 

the goddess of persuasion ; as all seemed pleasur- 
able and enchanting, my young imagination form- 
ed golden scenes, and painted a happiness quite 
glorious and secure. But how precarious and 
perishing is what we mortals call felicity ! Love 
and his mother disappeared very soon, as I have 
related; and to them succeeded impetuous pas- 
sion, intense, raging, terrible, with all the Furies 
in the train. The masked hero I had married 
was a Phalaris, a miser, a wretch who had no 
taste for love, no conception of virtue, no sense 
of charms ; but to gold would sacrifice every 
thing; that is fair and laudable. Le Diable a 
quatre he shone in as a player, and was the Devil 
himself in flesh and blood. ' Where is the rest of 
your gold ? ? with uplifted arm, was the thundering 
cry in my ears." 

Here the beautiful Leonora had done, and I 
wondered very greatly at her relation. Nor was 
her action in speaking it, and the spirit with 
which she talked, less surprising. With admira- 
tion I beheld her, and was not a little pleased 
that I had found in my neighbourhood so extra- 
ordinary a person, and so very fine an original. 
Had the reader seen her attitude, her energies, 
and the faces she made, when she mentioned 



326 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

her husband, sure I am, it would be thought 
much more striking than Garrick in Richard, 
or Shuter in his exhibition of Old Philpot. I 
was greatly delighted with her, and as she was 
very agreeable in every thing, I generally went 
every second day to visit her, while I continued 
in Richmondshire ; but this was not long. I jour- 
neyed from thence to pay my respects to Dr. 
Stanvil and his lady. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 327 



CHAPTER XXIV. 



Bear me, ye friendly powers, to gentler scenes, 
To shady bowers, and never-fading greens ; 
To flowery meads, the vales, and mazy woods, 
Some sweet soft seat, adorn'd with springs and floods ; 
Where with the Muses I may spend my days, 
And steal myself from life by slow decays. 
With age unknown to pain or sorrow bless'd, 
To the dark grave retiring as to rest ; 
While gently with one sigh this mortal frame 
Dissolving turns to ashes whence it came ; 
And my freed soul departs without a groan ; 
In transport wings her flight to worlds unknown. 



From Orton Lodge I went to Bassora, to pay 
my respects to Dr. Stanvil and his charming 
consort. I was received by them both with the 
greatest goodness and civility ; but, as before, 
this lady did not seem to have had any former 
acquaintance : one might well think, from the 
part she acted, that she had never seen me till 
the accident I have related brought me to her 
husband's house. I did not however even hint 



328 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

any thing to the contrary ; but, turning to the 
Doctor a little after my arrival, began to ask him 
some questions. 

And as he had an Essay on Fevers in his hand, 
when I entered the room, I requested to know, 
"how he accounted for the effects of cantharides, 
in raising and strengthening a low trembling pulse, 
and driving the natural heat and efflatus of the 
blood outward, — in giving relief in delirious 
ravings, stupors, and loss of reason, — in reducing 
continual fevers to distinct remissions, — and in 
cleansing and opening the obstructed glands 
and lymphatics, so as to bring on the critical 
sweats, and let loose the saliva and glandular 
secretions. How does blistering so wonderfully 
cool and dilute the blood ? It seems to me 
somewhat strange/' 

Dr. Stanvil replied, " It is easily accounted for : 
the Spanish fly, that extremely hot and perfectly 
caustic insect, is stocked with a subtile, active, 
and extremely pungent salt, which enters the 
blood upon the application of the blister, and 
passes with it through the several glandular 
strainers and secretory ducts. 

u This being evident, it is plain from thence, 
that the penetrating salts of the fly, that is, the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 329 

volatile pungent part of the cantharides, act in 
the blood by dissolving, attenuating, and rari- 
fying the viscid cohesions of the lymph and 
serum ; by stimulating the nervous coats of the 
vessels, throw off their stagnating viscidities, and 
by cleansing the glands, and forcing out the 
coagulated serum, restore the circulation and 
freedom of lymph from the arteries to the veins ; 
opening, scouring, and cleansing at the same 
time the expurgatory glands. These active salts 
penetrate the whole animal machine, become a 
glandular lymphatic purge, and perform the 
same thing in all the small straining conveying 
pipes, that common purgatives effect in the in- 
testines : and as by this means all the sluices 
and outlets of the glandular secretions are open- 
ed, the cantharides must be cooling, diluting, and 
refrigerating in their effects to the greatest de- 
gree, though so very hot, caustic, and pungent 
in themselves. So wonderfully has the great 
Creator provided for his creature man, in giving 
him not only a variety of the most pleasing food, 
but so fine a medicine, (among a thousand others) 
as the Spanish fly, to save him from the destroy- 
ing fever, and restore him to health again. It is 
not by a discharge of serum, as many imagine, 



330 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

that a blister relieves, for five times the quantity 
may be brought off by bleeding, vomiting, or 
purging; but the benefit is entirely owing to 
that heating, attenuating, and pungent salt of 
this fly, (and this fly only,) which the divine 
power and goodness has made a lymphatic pur- 
gative, or glandular cathartic, for the relief of 
man, in this fatal and tormenting malady. Vast 
is our obligation to God for all his providential 
blessings. Great are the wonders that he does 
for the children of men ! " 

Here the Doctor dropped offhis chair, just as he 
had pronounced the word men, and in a moment 
became a lifeless body. His death was occasioned 
by the blowing up of his stomach, as I found 
upon opening his body at the request of his lady. 
When the blood which is confined within the 
vessels of the human body, is agitated with a 
due motion, it maintains life; but if there be a 
stagnation of it in an artery, it makes an aneurism; 
in a vein, a varix ; under the skin, a bruise; in 
the nose, it may excite an hemorrhage ; in the 
vessels of the brain, an apoplexy ; in the lungs, 
an hsemoptoe ; in the cavity of the thorax, an 
empyema ; and when it perfectly stagnates 
there, immediate death. 

An animal (observe me, reader,) must live so 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 331 

long as this fluid circulates through the conical 
pipes in his body, from the lesser base in the 
centre, the heart, to the greater in the extreme 
parts ; and from the capillary evanescent arteries, 
by the nascent returning veins, to the heart again ; 
but when this fluid ceases to flow through the 
incurved canals, and the velocities are no longer 
in the inverse duplicate ratio of the inflated 
pipes, then it dies. The animal has done for 
ever with food and sex ; the two great principles 
which move this world, and produce not only 
so much honest industry, but so many wars and 
fightings, such cruel oppressions, and that variety 
of woes we read of in the tragical history of the 
world. Even one of them does wonders — teter- 
rima belli causa. And when united, the force is 
irresistible. 

But, as I was saying, when this fluid ceases to 
flow, the man has done with passion and appe- 
tite. The pope, the warrior, and the maid, are 
still. The machine is at absolute rest, that is, 
in perfect insensibility : and the soul of it is 
removed to the vestibulum or porch of the high- 
est holy place, in a vehicle (says Wollaston, 
and Burnet of the Charter-house,) as needful to 
our contact with the material system ; — as it must 
exist with a spiritual body, to be sure, (says the 



332 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Rev. Mr. Caleb Fleming, in his Survey of the 
Search after Souls,) because of its being present 
with its Saviour, beholding his glory, who is in 
human form and figure, which requires some 
similitude in the vehicle, in order to the more 
easy and familiar society and enjoyment. Or, 
as the learned Master of Peter-house, Dr. Ed- 
mund Law, and Dr. Sherlock, Bishop of London, 
inform us, it remains insensible for ages, till the 
consummation of all things ; — from the dissolu- 
tion of the body, is stupid, senseless, and dead 
asleep till the resurrection. 

Such was the case of my friend Dr. Stanvil ; 
he dropped down dead at once. A rarefaction in 
his stomach, by the heat and fermentation of 
w 7 hat he had taken the night before at supper, 
destroyed him. That concave viscus, which is 
seated in the abdomen below the diaphragm, I 
mean the stomach, was inflamed ; and as the 
descending trunk of the aorta passes down be- 
tween it and the spine, that is, between the 
stomach and back part of the ribs, the inflation 
and distension of the bowel compressed and 
constringed the transverse section- of the artery 
aorta, in its descending branch, and by lessening 
it, impeded the descent of the blood from the 
heart, and obliged it to ascend in greater quan- 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 333 

tity than usual to the head. By this means, the 
parts of the head were distended and stretched 
with blood, which brought on an apoplexy, and 
the operation upward being violent, the equili- 
brium was entirely broken, and the vital tide 
could flow no more. This I found, on opening 
the body. Thus fell this gentleman in the 32d 
year of his age. 

Whether the learned Dr. Edmund Law and 
the great Dr. Sherlock Bishop of London be 
right in asserting that the human soul sleeps like 
a bat or a swallow, in some cavern for a period, 
till the last trumpet sounds ; or whether Mr. 
Fleming has declared the truth, in maintaining 
that the conscious scheme was the doctrine of 
Christ and his apostles; this however is certain, 
that my friend Stanvil is either now present with 
his Saviour, beholding his glory, in a vehicle 
resembling the body of our Lord ; or he will 
have eternal life at the resurrection. He was as 
worthy a man as ever lived ; an upright Christian, 
whose life was one unmixed scene of virtue and 
charity. Such a man was Dr. John Stanvil. If 
men of fortune would form their manners on 
such a model, virtue by degrees would spread 
through the inferior world, and we should soon 
be free from superstition and irreligion. 



334 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

Having mentioned the sleeping and the con- 
scious schemes, I would here examine these opi- 
nions, and shew why I cannot think a dead 
inconscious silence is to be our case till the con- 
summation of the ages; as a happiness so re- 
mote would weaken, I believe, the energy and 
influence of our conceptions and apprehensions, 
in respect of faith, hope, and expectations. To 
curb desire, or suffer severely here, for the sake 
of truth and virtue, and then cease to be, perhaps 
for ten thousand years to come, or much longer, 
(for there is not any thing in revelation, or an 
appearance out of it, that can incline a rational 
man to think he is near the day of judgment 
or general resurrection,) this seems to be an 
obstacle in the progress of the pilgrim : and 
therefore, why I rather think we step immedi- 
ately from the dark experiences of this first state, 
to a blissful consciousness in the regions of day, 
and by death are fixed in an eternal connexion 
with the wise, the virtuous, and the holy — this, 
I say, I would in the next place proceed to treat 
of, by considering what the scriptures reveal in 
relation to death, and what is most probable in 
reason, but that it is necessary to proceed in 
my story. 

When the beautiful Mrs. Stanvil saw that her 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 335 

husband was really dead, and had paid that decent 
tribute of tears to his memory which was due to 
a man who left her in his will all his estates, 
real and personal, to be by her disposed of as 
she pleased, she sent for me to her chamber the 
next morning, and after a long conversation 
with her, told me, she could now own who she 
was, and instead of acting any longer by the 
directions of her head, let me know from her 
heart, that she had still the same regard for me 
as when we travelled away together from her 
father's house in the West, to the North of 
England ; and if I would stay at Bassora, where I 
was, but for three months she must be away, she 
would then return, and her fortune and hand I 
might command. This I readily consented to, 
and when the funeral was over she departed. 
For the time agreed on I continued in the house, 
and to a day she was punctual in her return. 
We were married the week after, and I was even 
happier than I had ever been before, which must 
amount to a felicity inconceivably great indeed. 
Six months we resided at her seat, and then 
thought it best to pay a visit to my father in 
Ireland. We arrived at Bagatrogh Castle in the 
western extremity of that island, in the spring 
of the year 1735, and were most kindly received. 



336 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

I found my father in a dying state ; his anger 
against me was appeased, and he greatly rejoiced 
at my coming, though he was scarcely able to 
speak. I related to him my surprising adventures, 
in which the old gentleman felt great interest. 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 337 



CHAPTER XXV. 



There *s a divinity that shapes our ends, 
Rough-hew them as we will. 



Soon after my arrival at Bagatrogth Castle,, my 
father's seat on Mall-Bay, on the coast of Gal- 
way in Ireland, the old gentleman died ; and as, 
in a passion, he had irrevocably settled the 
greatest part of his large estate on a near relation 
of mine, and had it not in his power to leave me 
more than a hundred a year, a little ready money, 
and a small ship, which lay before his door in the 
Bay, he descended to the grave in great trouble, 
with many tears. Like old Isaac over Esau, he 
wept bitterly, and wished, in vain, that it was in 
his power to undo what he had done. 

As soon as my father was buried, I returned 
to England with my wife, in the little vessel, now 
my own, which lay in the Bay ; and immediately 
after landing, c id laying up my ship in a safe 
place, we wen. to Bassora again, and there lived for 
Q 



338 THE SPIRIT OF BUNGLE. 

one year as happy as two mortals could be. But 
in the beginning of the year 1736, she died of the 
small-pox ; and, to divert my mind, it came into 
my head to go to sea, and make some voyages 
in my own little ship, which was an excellent one 
for strength and sailing, though but a sloop of 
twenty-tive tons. I went captain myself, and had 
an ingenious young gentleman, one Jackman, for 
my mate, who had been in the East Indies seve- 
ral times, six good hands, and two cabin-boys. 
Every thing necessary, convenient, and fit, books, 
mathematical instruments, &c. we took on board ; 
and weighed anchor the 5th of July, 1736. 

We went on shore at the Canary Islands, the 
Cape de Verd Islands, and other places. We 
passed the Sun in 15 degrees North latitude, and 
from that time standing South, crossed the Line ; 
the heats intolerable, and the musquitoes and 
bugs insufferable. We soon lost sight of the 
Northern star, and had the Crosiers and Magel- 
lan clouds in view. In three months time we 
anchored at St. Catherine's on the coast of Bra- 
zil. The 2nd of December w r e saw the Straits Le 
Maire, that run betwixt Terra del Fuego and 
Staten, and are the boundary between the Atlantic 
and Pacific oceans ; but, instead of venturing 
into them, and hazarding our lives among the 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 339 

impetuous blasts and waves which sweep round 
Cape Horn, (as Admiral Anson did the 7th of 
March 1741, two months too late, by the fault 
of the ministry, in his way to the South Seas,) 
we kep.t out at sea to the East of Staten-land, and 
ran to the latitude 64, before we stood to the 
Westward. The weather was fine, as it was then 
the height of summer, to wit, in December and 
January. All the occurrences in this course, the 
discovery w r e made in the latitude above men- 
tioned of an inhabited island governed by a 
young Queen, and what appeared and happened 
there, and in our run from thence to Borneo and 
Asia, round the globe ; and from China to 
Europe, on our return home; with the events 
we afterwards met with, and the observations I 
made in ether places, — the reader will find in a 
book called " The Voyages and Travels of Dr. 
Lorimer." 

Nine years of my life were spent in travelling 
and sailing about ; and at last I returned to rest 
and reflect, and in rational amusements pass away 
the remainder of my time on this planet. 

Dr. Cheyne calls it a ruined planet, in his 
wild posthumous book — a notion he had from the 
pious but enthusiastic Law ; but from what I have 
seen on three continents, and in traversing the 



340 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 

ocean round the globe, from West to East, and 
from the Southern latitude 64 to 66 North, I 
consider the earth a planet in reality so divinely 
made and perfect, that one can never sufficiently 
adore and praise an infinitely wise God for such 
a piece of his handywork. A world so wisely 
contrived, so accurately made, as to demonstrate 
the Creator's being and attributes, should cause 
every rational mortal to acknowledge, and fear, 
and obey so great and tremendous a Being. 

I now desired a little country-house where I 
might rest from my labours, and easily know 
what was doing in this hemisphere; and purchased 
a retirement near the capital — a spot surrounded 
with woods and streams, plants and flowers, 
and over which a silence hovers that gives a 
relish to still life, and renders it a contrast to the 
busy, bustling, envious crowds of men. 

Here I sat down at last, and have lived as 
happily ever since as mortal can do, having done 
with hopes and fears for ever. 

"Here grant me, Heaven, to end my peaceful days, 
And pass what's left of life in studious ease ; 
Here court the Muses, whilst the sun on high 
Flames in the vault of heaven, and fires the sky ; 
Soon as Aurora from her golden bowers, 
Exhales the fragrance of the balmy flowers, 



THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE. 341 

Reclined in silence on a mossy bed, 
Consult the learned volumes of the dead ; 
Fallen realms and empires in description view, 
Live o'er past times, and build whole worlds anew ; 
Oft from the bursting tombs, in fancy raise 
The sons of Fame, who lived in ancient days ; 
Oft listen till the raptured soul takes wings, 
While Plato reasons, or while Homer sings, 

Or when the Night's dark wings this globe surround, 
And the pale Moon begins her solemn round ; 
When Night has drawn her curtains o'er the plain, 
And silence re-assumes her awful reign ; 
Bid my free soul to starry orbs repair, 
Those radiant orbs that float in ambient air, 
And with a regular confusion stray, 
Oblique, direct, along the aerial way : 
Fountains of day! stupendous orbs of light! 
Which by their distance lessen to the sight: 
And if the glass you use, to improve your eyes, 
Millions beyond the former millions rise. 
For no end were they made? or, but to blaze 
Through empty space, and useless spend their rays ? 
Or ought we not with reason to reply, 
Each lucid point which glows in yonder sky, 
Informs a system in the boundless space, 
And fills with glory its appointed place : 
With beams, unborrow'd, brightens other skies, 
And worlds, to the unknown, with heat and life 
supplies ? 



342 THE SPIRIT OF BUNCLE, 

But chiefly, O my soul, apply to loftier themes, 
The opening heavens, and angels robed with flames ; 
Read in the sacred leaves how time began, 
And the dust moved, and quicken'd into man ; 
Here through the flowery walks of Eden rove, 
Court the soft breeze, or range the spicy grove ; 
There tread on hallow'd ground where angels trod, 
And reverend patriarchs talk'd as friends with God ; 
Or hear the voice to slumbering prophets given, 
Or gaze on visions from the throne of heaven. 
Thus lonely, thoughtful may I run the race 
Of transient life, in no unuseful ease : 
Enjoy each hour, nor, as it fleets away, 
Think life too short, and yet too long the day ; 
Of right observant, while my soul attends 
Each duty, and makes heaven and angels friends : 
Can welcome death with Faith's expecting eye, 
And mind no pangs, since Hope stands smiling by ; 
Nor studious how to make a longer stay, 
Views heavenly plains and realms of brighter day ; 
Shakes off her load, and wing'd with ardent love, 
Spurns at the earth, and springs her flight above, 
Soaring through air to realms where angels dwell, 
Pities the shrieking friends, and leaves the lessening 
bell." 



LONDON : PRINTED DY S. AND R. LENTLEY, DORSET STREET. 









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